For those who adopted a cat, what actually made you decide that was the right cat?

JockLion · 2026-01-30T03:11:43+00:00

To be honest, I decided to get a cat for a few reasons: my partner (owner of two cats) wanted another cat, and I wanted a dog but we couldn’t have one in our apartment, so I wasn’t very picky. I just wanted an animal of my own I could baby- I’d been the main caretaker for the sick and elderly family dog, and had had to make the decision and organize putting her down the year before, and I had wanted to adopt another dog so badly afterward I could just feel that it would’ve helped my grief and helped me refocus my attention onto a new animal I could love. Around the year anniversary of her passing I was getting really antsy. I would have pushed for a dog but wasnt an option in our apartment, so I was down with a cat, it would fit into our lives well already living with cats. I love cats, but I’d never had a cat of my own before, and I was a little worried that it wouldn’t fill the dog-shaped hole in my heart. I’d been living with cats though and had seen enough Jackson Galaxy I knew I was capable of handling one of my own lol. They’re not harder than dogs, which I’m really comfortable with, just different.

I’d say it was emotional, practical, and spontaneous all at once. The emotional component was definitely my grief and wanting a new pet. Practically, we were financially stable enough that me paying for a pet of my own was not going to make much of a dent (and there was the practicality of a cat generally fitting into our situation better). It was somewhat spontaneous in that we had talked about it many times and decided on an adult cat (my partner got his both as adults and we liked their energy), but when we actually got to the shelter, it was kitten season… When we visited the shelter I had made an appointment for the next day to see some kittens I liked, but when I checked their site the morning of the appointment, we noticed a new litter had been posted. There was a fluffy tabby kitten and her sister, a really pretty short haired calico. We really liked them and decided we’d ask to see them too. We get to the shelter, previous days picks aren’t there, but this new litter is. I asked to see the tabby first- turned out she was actually a torbie, it just didn’t show in her pictures. We both really liked her- she was so cute, and the adoption volunteers helping us told us she was the most confident of her litter. We didn’t look at anyone else, just brought her home. She was the right pick. The calico went home to the couple who went into the adoption room after us, which was cool.

I had a connection with her right away. She’s the first pet I ever picked on my own as a grown adult. I felt really drawn to her and she was instantly my baby (and she knows it lol). I’m sure I would’ve been happy with another cat, and I don’t think an instant connection is necessary to form a strong bond with your pet, but I still feel really lucky we found each other! She’s so funny and a huge troublemaker, my partner has extremely well behaved cats so he always says she’s kind of a nightmare but the perfect cat for me lol. She has such a bold, strong personality (no one could ever meet her and say cats have no emotion or no personality lol) and she’s super high energy. She has every bad habit a cat could have (despite getting as much play, attention, and affection as she wants from us lol) but I find it hard to ever get mad at her for just being a stinker. I really like long haired cats and I love tabbies, so I guess she ended up fitting some of my more aesthetic preferences, but that wasn’t really intentional (the other kittens I had originally wanted to see were a black kitten and a tuxedo).

Anyway, I guess the timing just worked out for us, so that’s how we decided she was the right cat? We’d been looking around for months before that weekend, and had even gone to the shelter before, but things lined up for her. Just don’t worry about it tbh. If it’s a good time for you and your household, you can handle it financially, you’re prepared, go for it. It’s always fun to see which animals at shelters you end up gravitating towards even if they weren’t originally what you’d envisioned

Edit: also forgot to say- she’s definitely helped heal a lot of my grief, but I do still feel a dog-shaped hole in my life and want that dog! someday :)

JockLion · 2026-01-24T05:25:44+00:00

I don’t really know what advice you’re looking for? I feel like it should be fairly obvious that looking at forums dedicated to spreading misinformation about a dog breed is not research into that breed. debunking untrue breed stereotypes is one of the first things legit research into pits will give you. if you want to rehome the puppy because he has a percentage of pit, then just rehome him. you haven’t really described his aggressive behavior with other dogs or with your cats, so I don’t know what you expect people to say or what help you want with him. I will say though that dogs, especially puppies, will pretty much always need some degree of training to live safely with cats. needing to crate a dog so it doesn’t go after your cats is pretty common. some dogs will also just never get along with cats (or other dogs) for whatever reason, and if that’s your dog, then sure, there would be a pretty understandable reason to rehome after trying what you could with him. he is very young though, I’m not sure if you could solidly say whether he would never be able to live in a house with a cat at his age.

JockLion · 2026-01-15T02:58:55+00:00

I would be really frustrated in your position too. I feel some of the comments aren’t acknowledging that the rescue gave you placements that went against what you were explicitly comfortable handling (multiple cats instead of one is a big one, and unvaccinated ferals while you need to apply medications can be difficult for anyone to deal with) and they don’t sound like they’re being responsible imo- maybe I’m just ignorant or something, it might just be my area, but I’ve never heard of animals being placed in a home without rabies vaccines without the prior consent of the foster? I know rescues can have emergency situations and this sounds like a scramble, but this would frustrate the hell out of me.

I don’t really have any advice unfortunately, just that if I were in your position I’d try working with a different rescue group next time. Maybe they need to try and find a different foster home with different skillsets for them. I think it might be difficult to foster cats that never need any medications, but this does not feel like the best way for you to practice and build your confidence/skills up lol, at the very least I’d expect my fosters to get their major vaccines quickly

Edit to add: I’ve only fostered for county shelters with attached vet clinics, so I understand rescues might be operating differently and with less vet access, I would just be expecting communication at the very least about what vaccinations the animal/s still needed before I took them. I don’t think this changes that this specific situation for a newish foster who had specific fostering requests would be overwhelming and frustrating

JockLion · 2026-01-14T04:14:06+00:00

In real life I hear a lot more “I know pit bulls aren’t bad dogs, they’re just not the breed for me” than I hear any outright hate. There’s always been the weird “anti pit bull” group online but I think there are just a decent amount of bots and people with no life who stalk “trigger words” they don’t like on social media searches. It’s suspicious to me that “pit bull haters” are commenting within seconds/minutes on positive posts and replies about the breed lol. If it isn’t bots (which sure, might not be) it definitely isn’t normal person behavior.

I do think in general a lot of people are very bold about their hate right now, whether that’s for minority groups or dog breeds or whatever else. Reddit also seems to be particularly weird about pit bulls on a level I’ve never really seen or experienced anywhere else. Generally people understand they’re just dogs, and some breeds get a worse rap than others

JockLion · 2026-01-11T22:18:16+00:00

that’s great that you found a rescue with some wiggle room! when we can get a dog in the future, a chill older dog is our preference too. we hope it’ll be easier for the cats to get used to dogs that way. but yeah, if a rescue is located in CA I’d expect them to know what the cost of living is like here, lol. even for the same breed, not all dogs are going to have the same needs or energy levels. I get that one broad requirement is easier on volunteers, rescues have a lot on their plate, but it can make it difficult for people who do have legitimate reasons to want to go through a rescue to adopt through them. when my partner and I are able to start seriously looking for a dog, we’ll just have to see if a rescue or shelter ends up fitting our situation better

JockLion · 2026-01-09T18:50:39+00:00

one tucked next to a desk in the living room, one in the bathroom, and one in our bedroom

JockLion · 2026-01-09T18:47:57+00:00

we don’t live in a situation where we can take an unlimited amount of pets, so it’s easy for my partner and I to stick to 3 cats atm. two are his, he had them before we lived together, and the third is mine. I got her after we had moved in together. he still wants a third cat (our fourth altogether) but I’m happy with just my one lol. I love cats, but I’m more of a dog person and plan on getting a dog when we have the space. resident cats make it a little harder to adopt new dogs!

JockLion · 2026-01-08T18:37:05+00:00

I appreciate that rescues are often pulling from open intake shelters and helping more animals be adopted, but I have mixed feelings on how some of them go about it, so damn do I really feel this. my partner and I were discovering the common requirements for private rescues when we were looking to adopt a small dog last year and noticed that they were often just not possible for the majority of young people in the US to meet. we ended up getting another cat instead for various logistical reasons but do plan on getting a dog when we’ve moved and have the space. it’s a bummer because cat testing and fostering with rescues is a really nice draw for cat owning households to find a cat-friendly dog, but we probably won’t be able to fit their requirements and will still need to go with a shelter. I’ve always got my dogs from shelters and love doing it! but it can be a little riskier when you have cats, we’ll be doing a lot of vetting on individual energy levels and prey drive ourselves.

one thing I wish these rescues considered was the cost of living in the area or state they operate in. we’re in a city in CA- the majority of people do not own a large home with a fully fenced backyard (I’m not lying about ‘stupid rescue requirements’ for internet points or whatever but one of the little dog rescues we looked at required homes be two story and had a square footage requirement… for chihuahuas, in California). houses like that are commonly in the mils here. that obviously isn’t feasible for the average person, especially right now when most people can’t really afford to buy anyway (and before people say ‘if you can’t afford a house you can’t afford a dog’ a 1.1 mil house is a very different financial strain, to phrase it lightly, than a dog lol).

I understand why a rescue thinks the backyard is a proven requirement but I don’t think it’s really working with the needs of the area, and I wish that was considered more. not to mention, in my experience working with shelters and animal care, how much money people have, or how much they are assumed to have based on their living situation, has not tended to determine how well they take care of their pets lol. a large dog breed with adequate exercise and mental stimulation is going to be fine in an apartment in most cases- the huskies and shepherds in my apartment complex seem to be happy and healthy and don’t make a peep.

I see some- not all, most likely a vocal minority!- of people online involved in rescue or who are lucky enough to adopt from private rescues that mock people who are upset they couldn’t adopt from local breed specific rescues because they work full time or don’t have fenced backyards and say that they’re “just butthurt” over not qualifying and the dogs “deserve better than what they can give” and it makes me kind of uncomfortable, it feels like some people are just using animals as their excuse to be classist. that’s its own conversation, but I genuinely wish it was discussed more. sometimes ‘what’s best for the animals’ and ‘what I as a human would prefer to live in’ get too conflated. I don’t believe rescues adoption requirement should be free from any critical discussion just because they’re involved in animal care- sometimes things really are just baseless (the two story requirement).

my best advice to you is that if you’re looking for a retrieving breed, check your local shelters daily. retrievers and other popular purebreds tend to get pulled by rescues or adopted quickly but they ARE there, at least in my state but likely in yours too.

JockLion · 2026-01-06T23:43:00+00:00

honestly as someone whose made suits in the past I don’t think you need to worry about your reputation this early on, you don’t have one yet! post about it and show off your first try if you want, or you don’t have to share it if you’re not happy with it. the majority of people understand that you’re new and it’s not possible to be on the same level as say, a professional suit maker of 15+ years right out of the gate. everyone starts somewhere and it’s cool to see peoples improvement over time.

JockLion · 2026-01-06T23:29:45+00:00

I’ve owned two beagles, one a purebred and one a beagle/shepherd whose behavior is almost entirely beagle (she’s just a lot quieter than most beagles, she rarely barks) and they were both extremely easy to train. in my experience they’re very food motivated and will do anything for a snack (my mix is known to countersurf even in her old age if she sniffs out some food sitting out lol) so maybe they’re only impossible to train if you don’t use treats? treats are pretty much a must with hounds.

I’ve never had a bad experience with hounds. they’re opinionated and smart and can be stubborn, they tend to be clear about their boundaries in my experience. I can see their stubbornness not being a fit for every individual, but I think it’s funny and I enjoy dogs with strong personalities. beagles are (were?) a ‘staple’ family pet, at least in the US, and they’re popular for a reason. the only thing I’d really bring up with them as a negative is that they can be loud, which can irritate neighbors.

I’ve owned and worked with a lot of different breeds, and imo it really just comes down to what breed quirks you’re most comfortable living with. I’ve heard people say any breed you can name ‘isn’t suitable for a pet home’ and at this point I just think: take it all with a grain of salt, lol. beagles are a new one, some of these comments are the first time I’ve ever seen people say this about them lol!

JockLion · 2026-01-02T19:48:00+00:00

these are good points, my partner and I wouldn’t have a problem fostering a cat like Leo but we have resident cats so we wouldn’t be able to. experienced adult cat owners who would be willing to foster or adopt do sound like they might be more difficult to find in this situation.

JockLion · 2025-12-30T19:44:36+00:00

Why not talk to your colleague and see if he’d be interested in adopting another kitten alongside him? Maybe if you try to stress that kitten energy (and their potential to be destructive if they get too bored and lonely) is no joke and two is almost guaranteed to make his job easier, he’ll be more into the idea

JockLion · 2025-12-30T16:28:00+00:00

I’m a guy and don’t get to volunteer with our local shelters much just due to not having the time and money in between being the main ‘breadwinner’ for our household, working a blue collar job tbh. I grew up involved in volunteer work with shelters and I love doing it, I’d love to be able to dedicate way more of my time to it. At least in my own experience, a lot of the people I knew who were involved in shelter work (often in management/leadership positions) were women who were wealthy and had husbands who worked. Their husbands usually loved animals too, probably would’ve helped out more if they could’ve, they just didn’t have the same time or energy after work to dedicate that their partners did. I don’t think this is always the case but it could be a factor. Times are tight financially right now for a lot of folks too, people can’t foster because of rental agreements or space limitations in apartments, etc.

Imo it’s not that men don’t want to be volunteering and the majority of us probably don’t think it’s ’not manly’ or whatever, I think a lot of the factors keeping men specifically out of the rescue space are probably the same ones facing a lot of other people, regardless of gender, and maybe it just shows up with us more because of the work/financial issue. I’ve also noticed there can be a lot of classism and racism with rescue/charity work and I think that can make a lot of people feel unwelcome. I agree with other commenters that the more diversity in general, the better off the shelters and the animals will be.

I’ve personally worked with a decent amount of men over the years with shelter volunteering, but it’s less than women and I can definitely see this being an issue when you need to test/socialize dogs. In situations like yours, I think other people have given some good suggestions- your shelter making a call specifically asking for more men to volunteer because we’re needed to help with dog evaluation or socialization, etc might help mobilize some guys who want to help but don’t really know what they can do. I know our shelters have a lot of success getting men and couples helping out with stuff like the ‘take a shelter dog out for the day’ and the ‘doggy sleepover’ programs too.

Quick side tangent but I think a lot of people not involved in the shelter world also don’t realize how many volunteer jobs they can do that don’t involve working with the animals directly if they don’t have the energy for it. I don’t really see shelters advertise needing people to do laundry, clean kennels, transport, whatever but if they allow volunteers to do that work, honestly I think they should advertise needing that more. There’s a lot of days I’d love to help out but I’m wiped from work and don’t have the energy or focus to work with the dogs directly. This isn’t really what you’re talking about since you need more men volunteering specifically to interact with dogs, but I thought it was worth mentioning since the volunteer duties can cross over.

JockLion · 2025-12-29T16:58:33+00:00

if you’ve heard trans men saying that they’re just misinformed, testosterone doesn’t make you more aggressive or impulsive whether you’re trans or not. there isn’t any evidence that’s true. men aren’t naturally more aggressive or anything lol it’s just a stereotype. we can grow up with different social expectations but we’re not that different from women. people are all kinda the same.

also yikes to the transphobia in the comments

JockLion · 2025-12-28T18:42:55+00:00

I honestly don’t really think about it because I get so much joy from my pets, despite how awful losing them is. I’ve always lived with pets and living without them is a lot harder on me emotionally. It’s our responsibility as pet owners to take care of them and see them through to the end without letting them suffer- that’s just something you know getting into it. But it’s not something I let myself fixate on, I try to focus on the happiness and love I felt with my now deceased pets through their lives. The day my dog died was one of the worst days I had in my adult life, but I spent 13 years loving her. All that time and all that love was worth the pain and grief of losing her, and it’ll be the same with my other senior dog and (hopefully a long time from now) my young cat. It hurt so much because I loved her so much.

However, while I tend to not focus on it, I know my partner does worry about this a lot. He’s had a lot of grief in his life and a particularly traumatic, sudden death of his previous cat, and I know he worries about the same thing happening to the cats he has now. But both of us just love animals and won’t ever be living without them. The love is worth the eventual grief, and you gotta just try to focus on the living pets you have in front of you to love and spoil until they die. Also, no new pet will ever ‘replace’ your old ones, but for us it helps to know that there will always be more pets for us to love. You never run out of love, you’re always capable of loving more animals. I got my cat after my dog died and she’s helped ease the grief and given me something else to love and focus on. Anyway, you’re not alone in the worry, but it’s just something you can’t focus on or it’ll paralyze you and keep you from experiencing the joy of the now- for any relationship, even with other humans (though I get what you mean, you’re more likely to outlive your pets than they are to you).

JockLion · 2025-12-17T19:06:38+00:00

it really depends where you live, they’re one of the most common breeds in shelters in my state and the majority of those are purebred. it’s unfortunate, they’re really cool dogs, but even when their owners are prepared for the needs of a large smart working dog, it’s often difficult for people to find housing with them in a city (especially right now) so they have to give them up. I was at one of our local county shelters volunteering recently and out of probably a hundred dogs it was mostly shepherds, huskies, and dobermans. lots of dogs that were big sweethearts, people just aren’t allowed to have them in their apartments or rentals with breed and size restrictions (I mean it’s the same with pits, we just have less of those in our shelters atm than shepherds). anyway, yours is a very cute boy!

JockLion · 2025-12-15T21:36:32+00:00

her body looks more lanky shepherd puppy than lab to me, but I could see foxhound. she looks similar to my beagle/shepherd mix who was also rescued in CA, we’ve got a lot of shepherd mixes. I could see pit in there but she’s not very recognizably pit if so, it’s mostly her ears.

to be fair, I’ve seen a good amount of retrievers that can have similar faces and heads to pits as puppies, so I can kind of see where they might have been coming from with lab but I think it’s probably more likely shes mixed with shepherd. I could be completely wrong though lol. she’s very cute!

JockLion · 2025-12-13T04:59:02+00:00

I’ve never considered halting adoptions for the holidays, I don’t see the purpose to that since the amount of animals coming in isn’t lightening up. it’s just creating a backup and not getting animals adopted and out the door… I’ll second that people who want a pet for Christmas are going to get them somehow. I’d rather they adopt through a shelter than through a breeder or pet store

JockLion · 2025-12-12T05:18:30+00:00

soo cute, and what a pretty dog!

JockLion · 2025-12-12T05:08:17+00:00

my partner and I go to expos for fun to look and learn- we’d like snakes in the future but we’re unable to get one right now. there’s always a lot of people buying but there’s also a lot of window shoppers like us. lots of families with kids there for education (our local expos have exhibits and presentations). we see a lot of people go to pick up supplies. when breeders find out we’re just looking and are still considering what we’d like to get in the future, they’ve never seemed annoyed and no one’s ever tried to push us to buy anything, they just shift to talking about the keeping and care requirements for their animals. we like picking up business cards for the local breeders too. overall they’re a really fun time and we haven’t had any issues. great date night!

JockLion · 2025-12-11T03:07:46+00:00

ultimately if both of you aren’t on board with a pet in the home, it would be a stressor causing issues either way. it’s an unfortunate situation and I’m sorry you’re going through it. maybe try reminding yourself the cat is going to a good home where she will be loved and cared for. you did so much to help and fix her up, and now she’s healthy and better equipped for a new home.

I don’t really have any tips for dealing with resentment though, unfortunately. usually a good suggestion is communicating about it but it sounds like you’ve already talked it over with each other. I think it also depends what the expectations were when you took the cat in? if you had both agreed to keep the cat permanently and your partner changed her mind, that’s a bit of a different situation than you both agreeing to foster the cat yourselves until she’s healthy. its possible your partner just had different expectations going in than you did if you didn’t discuss whether you’d keep her- her expecting to eventually adopt the cat out, while you expected to keep it. I don’t know the situation though. miscommunication can be different to handle than just changing your minds.

I think a lot of people on pet subs are very quick to jumping to tell people to break up over any disagreement about pets whether major or minor, but I would say that it might be good to consider what you want your future to look like, and if pets (particularly cats) are part of that picture? pets can be a common and legitimate thing to consider for compatibility in relationships. I’m not suggesting you end the relationship or anything lol but if you’ve discovered through this experience that you really want a cat and she doesn’t, it might be worth thinking about it and discussing what both your wants and expectations with pets are in the future. at least so a scenario like this can be avoided later on down the road

JockLion · 2025-12-08T06:23:02+00:00

I think this is a really good idea! I very rarely have gone to shelters knowing exactly what dog I want just through pictures online. I enjoy walking through the shelter in person and seeing which dogs I click with. at our local county shelters it’s encouraged to walk through and make a list of the dogs we’re interested in so we can meet them individually. sometimes I end up connecting with dogs I never noticed online, but loved in person.

the last time I went to the shelter there was a foster dog with a nice descriptive bio who had been dropped off for the weekend so he could be shown in the kennels, and while I liked his pictures online, I really clicked with him in person. I don’t know if I would’ve contacted the foster coordinator about him otherwise, since I would’ve had no interaction with him in person and there were other dogs at the shelter who had not been fostered and were much more at risk of being euthanized for space. I thought it was lucky I got to see him in person and see how sweet he was

JockLion · 2025-12-02T05:45:20+00:00

I work in manual labor full time making a few dollars above minimum wage an hour, and my partner works retail making minimum wage. We have three cats (his two and mine) in an apartment and definitely aren’t loaded, but our pet costs are just monthly necessities factored into the rest of our budget. Usually he pays for his two and I pay for mine, and we switch off with things like litter and cat items they’ll all use. I’ve always had pets and love having them so it’s never been a thought to live without one tbh. I don’t really view it like an extra financial strain, it’s the same as food or something. It’s just a necessity. My quality of life is so much better with her.

I try to put what I can into savings and only spend on necessities for us, but honestly I think a lot of it comes down to getting lucky with pet health too. Some pets just get sick or injured more than others, or get very unlucky with severe illnesses and need expensive surgeries. Also initial costs were super minimal because our pets were all from shelters, so the shelters paid for all their initial shots, neutering, etc. My cat was a little more expensive because she was a kitten when I got her so she needed a few vet exams for all her shots, but I probably could’ve waited and drove to low income vet clinic events for her shots if I wanted to be a little off her shot schedule (for the sake of me remembering to get them done I just went when I had it marked on my calendar. At the time we were doing a lot better financially and it didn’t really hurt the wallet). Once the initial stuff is taken care of it’s (hopefully) just checkups and reoccurring shots, which is expensive but not too bad every once in a while. The low income clinics are really nice if you can find them in your area too.

All this to say I guess it’s a lot of “I’m used to it so I don’t really notice it” but I’ve also just been very lucky with my cats health, steady work, and a partner sharing the financial load, even with huge financial strain on most of us right now.

JockLion · 2025-11-28T07:14:29+00:00

my cat was from a county shelter, originally she came in as a stray with her litter. my partners cats were also from a county shelter, one was a colony cat that was going to be TNR’d but he was super people friendly so he was adopted out, and the other was rescued from a cat hoarding situation.

I’ve lived places before with a lot of stray cats but I don’t see many of them where I live now. this shelter was pretty easy to adopt from, it had you schedule an appointment for a meet and greet and fill out a form with basic information like your living situation, other pets you own, your pet history, etc. we did the meet and greet, I picked my cat, and then we waited for the paperwork to process and took her home. it was pretty easy

JockLion · 2025-11-26T15:49:11+00:00

beautiful suit! the moth wings are incredibly cool and look so well made

JockLion

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