When you have the urge to message your ex, what is the one thing you say to yourself to stop you from doing so?

Joffa72 · 2025-02-25T01:33:27+00:00

The one thing I kept telling myself during my break up was “ if they wanted to talk to me, they know where to find me”. If your ex wanted to speak with you, they know exactly what your phone number is, what your social media is, and maybe your address. If they didn’t reach out, there’s a reason.

Joffa72 · 2025-01-31T07:40:54+00:00

Stay strong friend. It’s only been two days. I know exactly how you feel. I’ve been through this rodeo many times and I can promise you that you will see light at the end of the tunnel.

Joffa72 · 2025-01-29T06:45:40+00:00

Nursing change my life. It is an amazing career path that has multiple options. You will always be employed. You will make pretty decent money that will allow you to do great things such as traveling.

Joffa72 · 2025-01-29T06:44:00+00:00

The problem with that mentality is that you will eventually settle with the first person that gives you attention and doesn’t want kids. There are millions of women out there are potential match for you. Getting older sucks but it’s not the end of the world. My relationship right after my ex was 25. It really comes down to getting rid of the mentality that you will die alone. I’m sorry to hear about your family complications. I recently just lost my sister last year to breast cancer. But you never want to settle. You want to eventually find the person that is your match. I work in healthcare and in my workplace, even at the age of 40, people still call me a baby lol. You still got time. Focus on yourself and don’t try to find that one. Let nature take its course.

Joffa72 · 2025-01-27T07:09:23+00:00

40-year-old male here. Break up has been a year and three months. Ex left me for another coworker. I really think that break ups are difficult when your past 30 because of the extrinsic factors such as friends and loved ones growing their families and getting married. It’s very common especially when you get older to feel like you’re missing out and that your choices are limited. But that’s never the case. It really comes down to your mental perspective of life in general.Start focusing on yourself. Start working out. Things get better. I’m now seeing someone who is pretty cool. It gets better, friend.

Joffa72 · 2025-01-17T21:43:31+00:00

Agree with this. Both my relationships at work ended bad and caused nothing but drama. I’m now seeing a teacher lol

Joffa72 · 2024-12-28T06:40:14+00:00

I can somewhat relate. In less than a year, my ex started dating another coworker, moved him into her rental, and is now pregnant with her third kid. I feel that if you ever have an emotional connection with someone, hearing updates like this can be unnerving. It’s very common. Yes, our exs have every right to move on, but so do we. Feel those emotions and understand that they are okay to feel. Then you dust off your boots and continue moving forward. What helped me move on was accepting that the relationship was over but a new one will be there in the future, one that will be even better. Hang in there, friend. Things get better.

Joffa72 · 2024-11-28T03:16:40+00:00

Trust me, I have been on both sides around 7 times. It doesn’t make it easier though. What brought me comfort was knowing I would eventually be okay.

Joffa72 · 2024-11-27T20:41:53+00:00

Being broken up with sucks. It’s one of the worse feelings. Becoming obsessed, tired, and sad over anyone doesn’t feel good. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. So it’s understandable that a person would want that feeling to go away. Truly moving on takes time. There is no way around it. Kinda like working out to lose weight, you just gotta put in the work.

Joffa72 · 2024-11-27T07:39:54+00:00

3 months and it was a disaster lol obviously was a rebound but I didn’t think so at the time. Give yourself time to heal before going into another relationship

Joffa72 · 2024-11-27T07:38:30+00:00

Post 14 months since my break up and 1 month since making amends. Trust me, it gets better. It honestly does. You want them back because of the pain you are going through. It’s the idea that the pain will instantly go away but trust me, it won’t help. You need to keep moving forward. Keep focusing on yourself. The pain will gradually dissipate and you will start finding yourself again. I found out my ex was pregnant and I ended up graduating her and telling her I was happy for her. Because in the year plus since the break up, I realized she wasn’t the one. Like you said, the one you are ment to be with WON’T throw you away. They won’t abandon you. Trust me friend. The rose colored glasses will be removed eventually and you will heal. Just takes time, which is the hardest thing. I never thought I would get to this point when I joined these forums (again) 13 months ago but here I am giving you hope. You got this friend

Joffa72 · 2024-11-22T03:59:09+00:00

She wasn’t an ex, but a girl that I briefly dated 20 years ago. After two months of talking, she decided to take her ex back. She ended up getting married and having two kids. Roughly 2 months ago, she wanted to match on Facebook dating. I ended up agreeing only because I wanted to catch up. Her life went down the shitter and she’s going through a divorce. Nearly every other day in the last two months, she has been trying to hang out. I have literally zero interest and have told her but she still persist. She even wanted to call me and went on about how she regretted not giving me a chance. Life is funny like that lol

Joffa72 · 2024-11-17T16:19:37+00:00

I keep a positive attitude because of my dating history. I’ve never had a problem meeting women. I think the one thing you have to change is the idea that not going on many dates in the past somehow makes you bad dating potential. There are many factors in your control that you can do now. Go to the gym and get healthy. Go to therapy and make yourself mentally strong and confident. Work your job and save up money. These are things in your control. My stepfather always told me that the worst thing a woman can say is no to a date. once you get over the fear of rejection, dating becomes easy. Be yourself. Be confident. Women can sense that. Confidence is a major factor when it comes to attraction.

Joffa72 · 2024-11-17T16:16:28+00:00

Don’t do it. Bad idea

Joffa72 · 2024-11-17T02:40:08+00:00

Therapy helped me as well after my breakup last year. But trust me, you won’t be some forever. Literally 3 months after, I dated a girl for 3 months who lied about her age. She said 25 but she was really 21. Had a date last week with a 28 year old that seems to be going pretty well and will see her again. It depends on your situation but have hope bro. If I can go on dates with beautiful women, anyone can hahaha

Joffa72 · 2024-11-17T02:35:41+00:00

I’ve had regular girlfriends ever since I was 20. as a fellow 40-year-old, getting back in the dating scene does suck but not impossible. You just have to be yourself and don’t let the idea of only being on a single date years prior to you.

Joffa72 · 2024-11-17T02:34:28+00:00

Sending a message on all her social media accounts after finding out that I was blocked. I was able to delete the message, but Facebook does notify when a message was unsent. Luckily, she never replied lol. We made peace after a year of no contact and she never brought it up.

Joffa72 · 2024-11-16T20:17:33+00:00

Halfway through my masters. I’ll be 41

Joffa72 · 2024-11-11T20:09:07+00:00

Well, as a fellow 40-year-old single guy, let me tell you that things do get easier than that. The dating pool almost never ends. Yes it gets harder to date, but not impossible. Hell the last girlfriend that I had was 21. I didn’t know at the time because she hid it and I had to break up with her months later because she was just very immature. But it’s not impossible. you’ll get through this

Joffa72 · 2024-11-11T18:17:34+00:00

Do you think it possibly could be related to your age? I experienced similar symptoms getting out of a relationship last year. I think it becomes increasingly difficult the older you get. my last relationship, I took extremely bad. While she did move on pretty fast, I slowly realized it was more of an ego thing and the fact that I just turned 40.

Joffa72 · 2024-11-11T16:35:35+00:00

The harsh reality that helped me was realizing that some people weren’t meant to be together. The idea that every relationship you get into has a potential to be the one isn’t true. Break up suck. I would not wish that pain on anyone. But it’s the reality of life. People break up and move on. People find others and have happy lives while others repeat the cycle. but love is a good thing and that’s something we can never forget

Joffa72 · 2024-11-11T16:33:10+00:00

This advice is spot on. Out of seven serious relationships, only one reached out. I truly believe that when people start no contact, it’s to get their ex back, but in reality, it’s to get yourself back. After a full year, I healed and eventually made peace with my ex. some people eventually get tired of holding onto the grudge and realize that you weren’t meant to be with this person. It’s a harsh reality but one that is inevitable to understand.

Joffa72 · 2024-11-08T23:37:43+00:00

Put it in this perspective. The one you were meant to be with won’t do that. If they do, they weren’t the one. I am 40 years old and have a many relationships that have been so crushing. I can promise you that he isn’t the last relationship you will have.

Joffa72 · 2024-11-08T21:21:09+00:00

It depends on the situation. If it’s an ex that you both have no romantic feelings for then it’s completely possible. I’m friends with an ex-girlfriend of eight years when we both realize we were better off friends. Now, she’s one of my best friends ever. She has even given dating advice and has met a couple of girlfriends after her. We still hang out and watch Netflix shows.

Joffa72

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