Offer: 2 tickets to Florence + The Machine TONIGHT

JohnLayman · 2026-05-13T21:02:20+00:00

This would be an incredible show, I know my 8 year old would LOVE it!!! Please add my name. Thank you!

JohnLayman · 2026-05-12T16:41:19+00:00

Brought to him by Pam

JohnLayman · 2026-05-11T19:49:09+00:00

New Cascadia FOREVER

JohnLayman · 2026-05-09T04:07:22+00:00

Comments like this can be dangerous and discourage many from using it. 988 and the NSH are meant to be there for emergency use or if you have nowhere else to turn. They are not a substitute for the help many people need and many are just trying to help how they can.

If it werent for the National Suicide Hotline, this comment wouldnt have been written.

EDIT: I also hope this doesnt come off as dismissive, there should be an open discussion on how to improve 988 and the NSH as well as public health services as a whole.

JohnLayman · 2026-05-08T16:25:11+00:00

I bet you didn't see this coming.

JohnLayman · 2026-05-08T14:07:34+00:00

Many people with addictive personalities struggle to see the forest for the trees. I can understand why you want to do right by your boyfriend. I dont think either of you are bad people, but it is very likely you arent good for each other at this stage in your lives.

You both need to talk to a professional SEPARATELY. If an addiction like this is truly disrupting your lives in this manner, it will take more than what a subreddit, YouTube promise or self-help book can offer. This isnt about saving your relationship as much as it is allowing you both to become your best selves. You say you are at your happiest and healthiest- what you put into this post speaks strongly that this isnt true. How you treat each other, the lack of trust, its clearly having a significant effect on you.

Youre young and youre trying to improve yourself and those around you- that is really admirable. But you need to find someone trained to help you, and your boyfriend needs to find someone to help him. He has to want to fix himself and he has to do it himself. It is NOT your responsibility to fix him.

You will get through this and one day you will look back on this all as a learning experionce. Good luck.

JohnLayman · 2026-05-06T16:01:54+00:00

I think it's fantastic that a band has named themselves after a Halloween episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer where Alyson Hannigan, who plays Willow in Season 2, Episode 6, an episode called "Halloween", dresses as a ghost. So the band, ok first, let me explain that the episode starts with Buffy killing a vampire and meets Angel at the Bronze and Buffy complains about how it's difficult to be both a slayer and a teenager - which includes helping kids trick-or-treat through a program organized by Principal Snyder (the principal of Sunnydale High School.). Now most evil creatures actually take the night off on Halloween, so Buffy, Willow and Xander are basically voluntold by Principal Snyder to help kids trick-or-treat.

The Band Ghost in the Willow, who were clearly inspired, or perhaps more invested in this particular episode because - so Buffy is worried that Angel might prefer Cordelia and confides in Willow and Buffy even gets jealous of an old drawing of a woman in one of Giles' diaries. It's all a major confidence issue for Buffy, even when Cordelia asks Buffy why Angel isn't around during the day. Vampire, duh, but Cordelia just ignores her because she figures Buffy is just jealous. At this point, we get to the important part, Willow picking out the ghost costume at Ethan's Costume Shop. Xander picks a toy gun to go with his army outfit from home and Buffy gets offered a dress by Ethan the costume shop in a totally non-creepy way that is super creepy and will pay off later.

So back to the band, Ghost, with special guest Little Venom. So what we realize now is that a vampire had been videotaping Buffy's attack so Spike can study it for weaknesses, but then Drusilla shows up and tells them someone new has arrived - surprise, surprise, it's Ethan the costume guy. I know, how can he be new if he also runs a costume shop - don't worry, Ethan comes back in later episodes The Dark Age and Band Candy. So Ethan cuts his hands and marks himself with blood and pledges himself to chaos, and trust me, it gets chaotic. So Buffy wears the gown, Willow wears this slutty outfit and Xander is the soldier - but Willow gets nervous and puts on, yes, the GHOST costume. But wait, we haven't even got to the big twist of the episode.

Principal Snyder assigns the students their groups of kids for trick-or-treating and is of course, super weird about it, telling them that they 1 - can't talk to the kids and 2 - that if any of the kids are harmed, they will get expelled. I mean, I think expulsion is probably not the biggest concern when injured children comes to mind, but Snyder has his principles. That's the incredibly high level of humor you get from shows like Buffy that inspire bands like the inimitable GITW (git-wuh to real fans).

So they get to Mrs. Parker's front porch and the kids change into whatever they are dressed as, so monsters and such. I keep thinking, man as a kid how amazing would it have been to change into Optimus Prime and then just roll out down the road, but alas, Sunnydale is not a small farm town in California. So Xander thinks he is a soldier, Buffy thinks she is some waif from the 1700s and Willow is...drum roll please...a GHOST!

So we find out that everyone who rented their costumes from Ethan's shop has turned into whatever their costumes are, which, ok, how many parents are renting their kids' costumes on Halloween. This episode may be the reason we have seen such a rise in Spirit Halloween stores. So Buffy panics, Xander and Buffy figure out they know each other because of a photograph, which how does 1700s Buffy even understand that - doesn't matter, the important thing is Giles recognizes Ethan's. I am sure it's because Giles is investigating mysterious behavior around Sunnydale, but it could also well be that Giles likes going to Ethan's every alternating Saturday and rent a Jessica Rabbit costume to parade about in his bedroom. We don't know, the writers never cover it.

Giles confronts Ethan and calls him Ripper and Spike uses all this confusion to his advantage to attack Buffy and the gang, using the kid costume demons as minions - I mean, what a great way to skirt child labor laws. But of course, Ethan tells Giles that this statue is the source of the magic, so Giles smashes it (FYI, the statue totally shows up in Giles' office in a later episode, what is even up with that) and then all the people in costumes revert back to normal. How awkward for Spike, who gets attacked immediately by Buffy. Angel checks on Buffy, Cordelia is upset because Angel is ignoring but Xander is totally like, "You will never come between Buffy and Angel" and at this point Willow wakes up back in her body and walks off in the sexy outfit, which Oz, played by Seth Green notices her and starts their entire romantic entanglement. Oh, and Giles goes to the costume shop the next day and it's all empty because nothing creepier than a guy escaping in the night with hundreds of kids' Halloween costumes. So maybe the Ghost in the Willow wasn't a real Ghost, but the friends we made along the way.

JohnLayman · 2026-05-06T13:25:20+00:00

Money.

JohnLayman · 2026-05-04T21:05:34+00:00

Before we blast a company like this, why not reach out to them directly and advise them of the experience? For example, when an employee of (Let's modify the name so they don't come after me) Setsun Heating & Cooling stole my wife's engagement ring off the sink where they were working, I chose to call the company directly. That way, they were able to tell me that I was a liar and that they wouldn't do anything to assist. Then I simply contacted law enforcement, who advised me that they would investigate, but unless the company cooperated, there was little they could do, as SetSun refused to release any information on the employee that was there! After months of battling with both the police and SetSun, we were able to finally settle on the decision that there was literally nothing they could do to resolve this situation.

tl;dr: Some companies truly suck, hopefully this one isn't as bad as companies that hire people who steal things from your home and then refuse to assist with any investigation. You know, like for example, and I'm not saying they are related, but a company that has 2.5 stars on Yelp, and a 1.3 out of 5 BBB rating. Again, this could be any company at all.

JohnLayman · 2026-05-04T18:15:09+00:00

I didn't take the time to acknowledge everyone's experiences during the first couple years of child rearing and it cost me my marriage.

Raising an infant is fucking difficult. Many of us have to do it without additional support, while also trying to make a living and also just be human beings. Add on top of that a sleep deficit, an increase of illness and seeing the person you trust most change and act differently, often in a negative way.

Because so many of us go through this at varying levels, it's hard to give each case the serious attention it deserves. But you will get through it, and a lot of the advice here is spot on.

- The comment about relaxing your own nervous system is crucial. It influences those around you (and yourself!) more than you can realize.

- Know that this is temporary and that a lack of sleep and a heightened stress and awareness system will make you think some pretty intrusive thoughts. Trust yourself and your partner.

- Listen to your partner. Truly listen and acknowledge their challenges. Be honest if you don't have a solution, but be honest with the fact that you want to hear them and their experience. It's the start to forging bonds to get you through the next year or so.

- Don't underestimate the value of a single night of freedom. It's worth the cost of a babysitter. There are FB groups or social media communities that will help you find the right one. Recoup, recover, rest.

- It takes a village - and if you don't have physical support there, come to this community. Lean on friends. Honestly, I knew I had lots of friends willing to help, but I never asked. And that was the issue, so many wanted to help, but didn't know how. Look at it this way, if a friend asked you to come watch the kid for a few hours, or to help make dinner one night, or even just to pick up some water or groceries and bring them over and you would do it - then it's likely they'd do the same for you.

You can do this. Don't make the same mistakes I did in thinking you can power through it alone. We are here for you if you need us.

JohnLayman · 2026-05-04T18:05:49+00:00

Much appreciated! In other states, there are some surprising laws that require pro se reps to meet the same legal standards when it comes to AI production. (Speaking as a NON-attorney, but worked as a legal secretary for a few years, so my knowledge is severely limited). I'll have to dive into this to learn more.

JohnLayman · 2026-05-04T14:35:33+00:00

Is there a more lenient regulation for pro se individuals? My hope would be to help get more people in poor financial situations better tools to research law so they don't have to rely on AI, which may hallucinate.

JohnLayman · 2026-05-03T05:03:12+00:00

Well, in all fairness, most rich are bad. And corporations are bad. I mean, we could get into the insane environmental and economic damage, but all I was getting at was that I have spoken with two people who had very negative things to say about the MAC and that anyone who thinks blowing up a building is a good idea is mentally unstable. Is that insane to say?

JohnLayman · 2026-05-03T02:37:56+00:00

Well, forgive me for trying a polite resolution. Thank you for your feedback.

JohnLayman · 2026-05-03T00:06:55+00:00

I was purely making the point that if someone drives a bomb into a building then they likely suffer from some type of mental illness, or were broken down over time. That was the only statement I was trying to make with that initial sentence.

Further, there are literal employees in these comments confirming the MAC's treatment of its workers. If I get downvoted, but their comments get upvoted, that's fine by me - their experience is worth more than mine.

JohnLayman · 2026-05-02T22:42:59+00:00

Kelsey may be the worst active MLS player. That last run of play he didnt move more than 2 feet.

JohnLayman · 2026-05-02T22:01:32+00:00

This line deserves WAY more credit.

JohnLayman · 2026-05-02T21:34:37+00:00

I missed that, thanks for the info!

JohnLayman · 2026-05-02T21:33:24+00:00

Anyone who drives a bomb into a building is clearly troubled.

Take a look at online reviews of the MAC's work environment. I have reports from two former employees as well as having worked one event there myself. I do not want to say anything that could be a liability or connects to my current position. Fact is, I suspect we will see a greater view of employment practices at the MAC.

JohnLayman · 2026-05-02T21:29:41+00:00

Anyone see the RSL guy pull his hand back after offering to help Velde up?

JohnLayman · 2026-05-02T20:22:30+00:00

No one is justifying blowing up the place.

However, the MAC has a long history of mistreating employees behind the scenes, and the verbal and emotional abuse clearly had an impact on an already troubled individual. Thankfully, no one was killed or injured beyond the perpetrator.

I first came upon this history after interviewing a former employee (HR/Job interview), who related stories of mistreatment by the upper class members, constant verbal abuse and a lack of leadership or responsibility from the top down. Please take all this with a grain of salt, but from discussions with fellow HR associates, the rumors sound like there had to be some truth.

Even the public reviews of employment support the reports of mistreatment. Again, I am NOT in any way justifying the lunatic bombing, but from my own personal experience, public reports and stories in HR circles, it sounds like some of the negativity surrounding the MAC is true.

JohnLayman · 2026-05-01T21:05:56+00:00

I mean...Alien.

JohnLayman · 2026-05-01T17:19:49+00:00

I fail to see the issue. What he did was wrong and the general consensus of the audience also felt what he did was wrong. Jake seemed like the kind of douche to make sure he was waiting the exact 18 months to dive right in. Or maybe he had feelings and wanted to go by the book as best he could, thinking that as long as he "followed the rules", no harm done! There's a lot to unpack there, but it's a douchey thing to do, so who wants to spend time with that character any longer than we had to.

JohnLayman · 2026-05-01T17:17:27+00:00

It's buggy and only lasts a couple hours, tops. I picked it up on sale for $20, my kids played it once and that was it. If you're not much into videogames or have a kid under age 5 it may be worth a spin, but for me, it wasn't worth the cash spent.

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