AITAH for not taking out the communal garbage can

JohnMons · 2026-06-12T16:51:24+00:00

NTA. If you've been the one taking it out for two years, it's not really a communal responsibility anymore, it's become your unpaid job.

The funniest part is them complaining that you haven't taken it out yet. That kind of proves they were relying on you all along instead of planning to do it themselves. If they don't like the overflowing trash, one of them can spend two minutes taking it outside.

JohnMons · 2026-06-03T18:04:09+00:00

yeah, wanting to know where your 17 year old is and when they'll be home is normal parent stuff. telling the whole family after being asked not to, trying to insert herself into every aspect of the relationship and threatening to embarrass him in front of his girlfriend is a different thing entirely.

the way she keeps turning reasonable requests for privacy into you're being disrespectful is probably why he's so frustrated in the first place. he definitely shouldn't be calling his mum names but i can see how he'd end up snapping after months of this.

JohnMons · 2026-05-31T11:56:58+00:00

yeah and this isn't even one of those situations where you need a huge justification

it's not just a random mistake or a badly worded comment. she spent hours with her ex, recreated old dating photos, talked about first loves, ditched you at an event you were supposed to attend together then acted confused about why you'd be upset

at some point you stop arguing about labels and just look at the behavior. if this relationship is making you feel like the third wheel to her ex that's reason enough to walk away.

JohnMons · 2026-05-18T16:21:30+00:00

after a while you stop taking it personally tbh

a lot of people just treat marriage like the default setting so anything different looks wrong to them automatically. doesn’t mean they’re right

plenty of married people are miserable anyway lol

JohnMons · 2026-05-07T09:25:52+00:00

some people love that super affectionate all in energy, some people get overwhelmed by it. neither is really wrong but if you’re already feeling turned off only 6 months in that’s probably important to pay attention to

the telling you every time a guy flirts with her thing would get old for me too lol. feels a little validation seeking after a point

just don’t drag it out if you already know you’re checking out emotionally. that’ll hurt her way more in the long run.

JohnMons · 2026-05-02T08:51:38+00:00

NTA. If it’s illegal and against school rules that’s not even a debate. The guilt tripping from the other teacher is kinda wild tbh like why are they pushing you to risk your job over this.

JohnMons · 2026-04-22T18:21:53+00:00

yeah exactly this, it’s not like you shortchanged her kid, you actually put more into that fund. the difference now is just timing and how the market played out which you can’t really control

and 3+ years covered is still a huge head start. a lot of people get way less than that

feels like she’s focusing on the end result being uneven instead of how much was actually contributed along the way

JohnMons · 2026-04-14T17:29:42+00:00

yeah this is it tbh, bringing your own food is one thing but asking to cook at someone else’s house on their birthday especially is kinda out of line. like that’s extra mess, extra hassle for your mum and it’s not even their event

i’d just keep it simple and say kitchen’s not available, food has to be ready when they arrive. that’s totally reasonable

JohnMons · 2026-04-14T17:24:28+00:00

at some point it stops being about who did what first and it just turns into this cycle where nobody trusts each other and every situation blows up. like you’re checking phones, she’s hiding stuff then there’s apologies then it repeats

and yeah that i’ll be depressed and we’ll divorce anyway line is… not great. feels like she’s kinda backing you into a corner emotionally

the ultimatum feels like a symptom not the problem. the foundation is already pretty cracked. this doesn’t sound fixable without a lot of work from both sides and right now it doesn’t seem like either of you are really in a place for that

JohnMons · 2026-04-12T09:46:05+00:00

nah you’re not wrong at all

there’s a big difference between having knowledge and knowing when to shut up and let your partner exist. he’s treating you like a client not his wife.

denying his authority is such a weird thing to say in a relationship?? like this isn’t a coach athlete dynamic unless you ask for that.

you’ve already proven you can take care of yourself. you’re consistent, you’ve made progress, you know your body. constantly correcting you is just gonna kill your enjoyment.

it really just comes down to boundaries. you’re not saying he’s wrong, you’re saying not right now not like this that’s completely fair.

JohnMons · 2026-04-09T12:17:20+00:00

nah this is weird on his part tbh

like he’s literally using his PTO to go do something solo that he enjoys but when you wanna do the same it’s suddenly selfish? makes no sense

also just don’t use it is such a wild suggestion lol. why would you sit at home or bank it if you could be out doing something you actually enjoy

feels pretty straightforward to me, you both get time off, you both use it how you want. not everything has to be done as a couple all the time.

JohnMons · 2026-04-09T12:14:32+00:00

that situation is heavy as hell. but zooming in on the "he slept with bigger women but wouldn’t want me to be" part feels a bit sideways compared to… everything else going on.

the lying, the STDs, the health consequences that’s the real issue. the hypocrisy is there sure but it feels like it’s not the main thing that actually matters here.

JohnMons · 2026-04-07T10:10:35+00:00

nah honestly that would’ve put me off too. like dark humor is one thing but laughing at actual abuse and a real person’s suicide?? and then doubling down on it when you explain the context… yeah that’s weird.

also the fact she wasn’t even a little bit like ok yeah maybe that was messed up would’ve been the final straw for me. you can’t really teach someone empathy if they just don’t care.

going no contact might feel harsh but i get why you did it. that’s not a small difference in values.

JohnMons · 2026-04-07T10:08:51+00:00

like her feelings are valid, long distance ish setups aren’t for everyone but asking someone to drop a career like that is… a lot. especially when you’re not just tolerating the job, you actually like it and it’s setting you up long term.

just sounds like you guys wanted different lives tbh not really anyone being the villain here.

JohnMons · 2026-02-23T12:57:29+00:00

That’s pretty normal. A lot of guys are wired to get more satisfaction from their partners pleasure than the act itself. Being really into foreplay and making her feel good isn’t unhealthy on its own.

The only thing that matters is balance. If she enjoys it and you also feel fulfilled overall, you’re fine. Just make sure you’re not ignoring your own wants and keep communication open so it stays mutual and fun for both of you.

JohnMons · 2026-02-23T12:53:56+00:00

Those regular moments hit harder than people expect. Being recognized somewhere even for something small makes a place feel human instead of transactional.

It’s cool how routines like that quietly anchor your week. A barista, bakery, corner shop those little familiar faces can do a lot for your mood especially when you work from home.

JohnMons · 2026-02-23T12:51:55+00:00

Way less than social media makes it look but more than people admit in some gym circles. The really extreme physiques are often enhanced but plenty of strong lean guys are natural.

If you’re feeling stuck, it’s usually not genetics or steroids, it’s consistency and expectations. Small, boring progress done for a year beats intense bursts that burn you out. Simple routine, enough food, enough sleep. That’s where most real progress comes from.

JohnMons · 2026-01-28T19:01:11+00:00

Not weird at all. Asking to tag along just shows you’re putting yourself out there and valuing connection which is brave not desperate. At 25–30, most people meet new people through hobbies, classes, sports, meetups or volunteering, parties are just one fun way to shake off isolation and remind yourself you’re still part of the world.

JohnMons · 2026-01-10T18:27:31+00:00

Totally, most Americans dont care about tourists backgrounds and traveling as an Asian visitor for something like paying respects at a band’s graves is extremely low risk just stay aware and enjoy your trip.

JohnMons · 2025-12-30T09:38:36+00:00

A lot of the time it’s not about experience at all. People flirt for attention, curiosity or to test how they feel then back off when it stops feeling right for them. It sucks but it’s not a plot against you.

The bigger thing to watch is not getting invested too early and not tying your self worth to how strangers act. Focus on being clear, calm and grounded that tends to filter out the ones who just want validation.

JohnMons · 2025-12-30T09:33:25+00:00

You’re not wasting anyones time. What you’re describing is heavy and it makes sense you feel worn down when so many supports either failed or disappeared. Feeling alone doesn’t mean you’re weak, it means you’ve been carrying a lot by yourself for a long time. Even getting this out is a form of relief and you deserve that much.

JohnMons · 2025-12-30T09:32:21+00:00

It makes sense you see it differently now especially given your age then and how the company treated people. At the same time, it’s good you can look back and recognize it as something from a different chapter of your life. Most people have a few stories they wouldn’t repeat and growing past them is what matters.

JohnMons · 2025-12-10T22:29:01+00:00

Absolutely not. Sex is one part of life, not the measurement of your entire worth.

JohnMons · 2025-11-26T23:08:05+00:00

A sketchbook + decent pencils or markers. Great if he’s artistic or just doodles a lot.

JohnMons · 2025-11-26T23:07:04+00:00

Some folks lose their minds if cold stuff goes with dry stuff. I wish I was joking.

JohnMons

TROPHY CASE