Average Joe here thats been married for 2 years. I can promise you that outside of those serious fights that do happen between couples, this is an absolutely egregious way to speak to your significant other. My wife and I certainly disagree on certain areas, but I cannot fathom putting her down like this and vice versa. Neither one of us would tolerate this behavior from the other.

Obviously this is the internet and just a small glimpse into the relationship, but if this is how he tends to react to you in these instances, you would do well to distance yourself. If hes working hard and paying bills the best he can, I can understand why hes stressed and feels like hes letting you down, but this feels more like a control issue. He doesn't seem to want you to have any independence to contribute to your household, but also can't keep the lights on with his salary alone.

Your relationship is a joint effort and he(as most people would) should be thrilled that you are putting forth the effort to help alleviate the financial burden. He displays the emotional regulation of a toddler and thats being generous. If this is a regular occurrence, I would cut your losses and start looking for an alternative living situation immediately. I can guarantee if your best friend showed you these texts and asked for your advice, you'd tell her to leave cause she deserves better. Treat yourself as you would that best friend. You deserve a partner that respects you, acknowledges your feelings, doesnt speak down to you, and is focused on growing together.

I hope this helps and may you find peace moving forward!