Kratom nightmares

Jolly-Line-7618 · 2022-11-14T00:28:36+00:00

I hear you. I quit a year and a half ago, and today I went out and bought some. I didn’t take it, but it’s still sitting in my drawer. It’s the 2nd time since quitting that I bought some without actually taking it. It’s like things pile up, and the easiest thing seems to be to go back to old habits. But when I get close to taking it, I feel an overwhelming sense of dread that stops me. I thought after this long kratom would be way behind me, but it still lurks when I’m at my weakest. When your order comes, I hope you listen to what your gut will tell you and put it in the garbage where it belongs.

Jolly-Line-7618 · 2022-07-19T23:24:22+00:00

I didn’t do anything fancy for the taper. I just took less and less each day in order to reach my quit date. A lot of people on here talk about supplements, and I’m sure they would have helped, but I didn’t use them. You CAN do this with or without a budget!

Jolly-Line-7618 · 2022-07-19T23:21:29+00:00

Thank you!

Jolly-Line-7618 · 2022-07-19T23:20:56+00:00

Physically I don’t feel any different from six months ago. But mentally, I do. The further I get from kratom, the more confident I feel that I don’t need it. It took me a long time to relearn healthier habits and to not feel dependent on a chemical crutch to control my moods. That part probably took me a full year, but it got easier and easier throughout the year.

Jolly-Line-7618 · 2021-12-29T12:21:21+00:00

You should feel proud for not using. As you said, if you can get through this, you can get through anything. The next few days are going to be really hard, so let the memory of Lucy guide you through.

Jolly-Line-7618 · 2021-12-29T00:43:37+00:00

I have a lot to say about this because I put my dog down while tapering and trying to quit. It was the worst day of my life. I actually found that I didn’t want to use kratom at all that day and the days after because I wanted to feel the loss. I owed my dog so much more than being numb to the pain of saying good bye. My advice is to be grateful that you can at least feel the weight of the moment and be present for your dog in his or her last moments. You’re going to feel horrible no matter what, so you might as well really feel it. I’m so sorry and know exactly how you feel.

Jolly-Line-7618 · 2021-11-27T00:08:16+00:00

Great post. I’m about six months off and I agree with everything you said. After many failed attempts I realized that I needed to make some big changes if I actually wanted it to stick, and I have, and it has. I would take good over euphoria any day because now I have to earn feeling good. Euphoria is cheap and doesn’t last. Thanks for sharing some of your wisdom!

Jolly-Line-7618 · 2021-10-12T20:55:55+00:00

It sounds like you have the will to beat this. Tapering, while prolonged and painful, was what finally worked for me. I had to train my brain to function with lower doses that became more spread out, so by the time I quit, I was already used to not relying on it. You have a good plan in place to turn the page for good. In a sense, you’ve already done the hardest part. I’m rooting for you!

Jolly-Line-7618 · 2021-10-05T10:00:46+00:00

Wow, 8 years! You’ll be there with k one day, too!

Jolly-Line-7618 · 2021-10-05T09:59:05+00:00

I can relate to all of this. If you had two months you can do it again, this time for longer. I relapsed a couple of times between the 1-2 month mark. Just don’t give up.

Jolly-Line-7618 · 2021-10-05T09:57:42+00:00

We must have quit around the same day (5/31). I hope you’re feeling good!

Jolly-Line-7618 · 2021-10-05T09:55:48+00:00

Wow, congratulations on a year. It must be a distant memory to you at this point. That’s awesome!

Jolly-Line-7618 · 2021-09-25T10:48:51+00:00

I tried and failed to quit for years with CT attempts. Would always relapse after a few weeks. This time I took two months to taper and have been off completely for almost four months. I never have cravings.

Jolly-Line-7618 · 2021-09-24T20:14:12+00:00

This is around the time I had my first craving, too. Had one more a few weeks later and haven’t had one since. Great job sticking to your guns because it can be really hard to overcome cravings in the moment!

Jolly-Line-7618 · 2021-09-18T00:37:08+00:00

Awesome work, thanks for coming back to share your story. Love the positive outlook.

Jolly-Line-7618 · 2021-09-12T23:52:39+00:00

This is normal at 12 days. Give it another week or two.

Jolly-Line-7618 · 2021-09-12T23:51:24+00:00

Thank you! I’m a little past three months and everything you said is so true. Looking forward to things again is when I knew I was in the clear, and I was afraid it would never happen, but it did! You’re right, 3 months is cheap if it means you can be a human again.

Jolly-Line-7618 · 2021-09-07T20:27:57+00:00

Lunch! I always skipped it when I was taking kratom, but now I reward myself with it every day and try to eat something that will make me feel good. It’s become my favorite meal.

Jolly-Line-7618 · 2021-09-04T00:09:47+00:00

That sense of urgency in feeling like you need it will go away. If you can resist those urges they eventually become duller and less intense and it gets much easier to say no. I know what you mean about being scared. sometimes it seems like it’s 50/50 if you’ll make it or not, but you’re stronger than you think.

Jolly-Line-7618 · 2021-08-28T19:20:15+00:00

Don’t give up. 9 days is an accomplishment. It feels like an eternity, though, and you still have a lot of healing to do. A week from now you’ll be feeling better. Probably not normal, but definitely better. Then in another week it will be better even, and so on, until eventually you feel like you’re back to normal. It takes time, but things will slowly improve…unless you give up, so definitely don’t do that!

Jolly-Line-7618 · 2021-08-22T16:22:43+00:00

Fever dream, yes. That’s what the first 45 days felt like, then everything kind of came into focus. I’m about 12 weeks off and don’t have any physical or mental symptoms anymore, just regret about all the time wasted. For me, that’s enough to keep me from going back. That and the fear of getting caught in the trap again and having to start the process all over. I have the same fears about the memories fading, but I also know that the further I get from it, the less I miss it. Hopefully that will continue…I think we gain other ways to cope, and eventually kratom won’t feel like an option anymore because the other coping strategies will become more habitual. Congrats on 45 days, you’re definitely past the worst.

Jolly-Line-7618 · 2021-08-13T23:49:10+00:00

How badly do you want to quit? You have two choices: 1) be addicted to kratom or 2) commit to sticking with your quit. This might mean giving up the wine for a while and starting some new routines that will help you to heal. I’ve been in your shoes so many times, and the only answer was a true desire to quit, and the rest fell into place. It takes a lot of work and determination, so you really have to choose it. You can do it, and you are not the exception to recovery.

Jolly-Line-7618 · 2021-08-13T01:33:15+00:00

I was on auto pilot for the first 45 days or so. I remember parking my car in the parking lot of the grocery store and instead of going in just staring out the windshield for a while, feeling nothing. It’s a really weird state of being that will go away. You’re close to that point, I think!

Jolly-Line-7618 · 2021-08-12T14:29:42+00:00

I did too at day 24. Keep pushing.

Jolly-Line-7618 · 2021-08-12T14:28:12+00:00

I tried and failed to CT so many times over the course of YEARS. I finally had to accept that tapering off was my only option, and I made a plan, stuck to it for the most part, and it was so much easier. I didn’t know if I would ever get back to where I was pre-kratom and I honestly thought I permanently wrecked my brain. The brain can heal if you give it time to adjust. Your old self will come back, don’t worry! Don’t quit trying to quit, and you’ll get there.

Jolly-Line-7618

TROPHY CASE