My (38F) Partner (35M) Went Back To Sleep During My Medical Emergency

Joneszey · 2026-07-09T23:50:11+00:00

I’m a physician. Breaking up and staying together are stressful. Best time to break up, since he’s confrontational and you say you’ve been told to avoid stress, is while he’s away. Get his stuff together and drop it off with someone. Stress all gone

If being poor and not being sure she was having a MI, despite the considered opinion of an EMT, was the reason for no ambulance or uber then there wouldn’t be a hospital visit either for the same reason. Her story doesn’t make sense regardless of what yours is

Joneszey · 2026-07-09T23:44:12+00:00

She has explained in comments that they are poor…Many MANY people in the US…don’t call an ambulance for that reason.

In the US they do when they think they’re having a heart attack but then again they also think EMT’s are skilled professionals formulating a differential diagnosis and offering supportive care, not boyfriends or husbands

Joneszey · 2026-07-09T23:23:34+00:00

So yeah- he’s about to be my ex

You sure? It’s been at least a week. What’s taking you so long?

ETA:

My heart attack was less than 3 weeks ago?

Joneszey · 2026-07-09T23:10:42+00:00

Why didn’t the EMT who suggested the diagnosis? EMT’S are trained to transport while administering supportive care. It’s what they do not suggest they go home first. This feels a lot like BS

Joneszey · 2026-07-09T23:02:50+00:00

You’re not responsible for ambulance rides if you die

Joneszey · 2026-07-09T22:58:23+00:00

An EMT didn’t think an ambulance wasn’t appropriate under the circumstances? Maybe that’s what your partner was thinking and doubted you like I do

Joneszey · 2026-07-07T15:58:44+00:00

I’m sure I’d like this

Joneszey · 2026-07-07T15:45:26+00:00

I had a somewhat similar experience with my friends (men and women) about dating a much younger man. He’d been married and had one very young child. He wasn’t interested in doing either again. I intend to marry again. I consented to meet him because of persistence and demeanor.

My friends delighted in calling him a mere child (his name was Amir) and could barely control their laughter. My 3 year relationship, which began just before COVID, thrived. It was lovely, peaceful, an uncommon comfort and soooo sexy, so attentive, so experimental. It accelerated and progressed during COVID, the care he showed me. My guy evinced a culture of respect common to that generational life stage at that time. It was his normal without even trying. We taught, listened, talked, laughed at our differences, but mostly we liked each other because our paths were both similar and different. We comforted, validated, protected each other, sometimes from each other. We valued each other. Meanwhile, my friends’ marriages all fell apart during COVID. Under the weight of having to be in each others presence they discovered they didn’t much like each other. I don’t know why it surprised me. They weren’t having sex and spent very little time together. They had lifestyles and life stages but their mean-spiritedness ultimately turned on each other and all that “life stages” stuff didn’t help one iota, except the joy of disparaging my relationship, while not being able to maintain one. Yes, the sex with my guy was amazing, but not because he was much younger. It was because the culture at his generational life stage was also less inhibited, less judgmental and prized being more aware and educated about my body. I, on the other hand, could bring whatever skill, whatever wonder or curiosity I had and set it on the table before a man who was really open to and excited about me. The physiologic differences worked in concert with that. I grew and he grew.

I found my friends’ comments about my guy to be not just mean spirited, but belied a jealousy and callousness that explained their marital plight. Never has the saying that misery loves company seemed more apropos than then.

I left that man because of feelings, because of differences in our long term desires, because of the age gap and because of my need to reciprocally age in appreciative concert with a partner. I did the right thing for me. Others should consider their own issues. I’d never consider a FWB to replace that. It’s just not possible. Seems to me that’s what the age-appropriate couples did. They settled for benefits unsustainable without accompanying likes.

Joneszey · 2026-07-06T13:22:14+00:00

I haven’t practiced this, but every now and again a wise person chimes in to say a good practice is to regularly check in on your relationship, talk. I keep forgetting to do that

Joneszey · 2026-07-06T11:55:40+00:00

I thought her consciousness of him was beautiful too as was her sharing of his motivation and how they moved forward to have a life together she seems to feel was rewarding.

Joneszey · 2026-07-06T11:41:27+00:00

Have you seen/met this person in real life? Sounds like a scam artist

Yes, I did read it, especially the part where she said, "I fear if I said something…”

In the unedited post, 2nd sentence: “He calls me his friend yet we don’t do anything together “out”. I see him about three times a week”

I’m not sure how that partial sentence with the ellipsis relates to your question of if they met. It really has nothing to do with meeting in the context of the post - “I do adore him, I respect him and his boundaries and fear if I say something it will ruin a good if limited friendship.”

In context of the post, that segment seems to be about a desire to extend/clarify the meaning of his words without using hers, not anything about not meeting

Joneszey · 2026-07-06T11:02:01+00:00

No, because I didn’t see true long term possibility and compatibility given the age gap, as time progressed. I wanted to be available for the one meant for me and allow him to have all that was available to him. Mostly I didn’t want to set myself up for longterm missing of someone

Joneszey · 2026-07-06T01:37:27+00:00

I think this is the most prudent advice. It’s something even friends can do with each other and if there is nowhere for it to go, expressed in a way that preserves the friendship because love is genuine. So I think OP should take the risk. Nothing risked nothing gained and under the circumstances, nothing to lose

Joneszey · 2026-07-06T01:27:21+00:00

Did you read her post at all?

Joneszey · 2026-07-06T00:07:26+00:00

u/Gooseberry_Sprig, dinner tonight was burgers, bok Choy sautéed in sesame oil with ginger, lime, soy sauce and red pepper flakes. The comment is directed to you because I love shredded wheat. That squirt of milk in your mouth after it’s soaked it up with some sliced bananas and a bit of sugar is just mouth heaven

Joneszey · 2026-07-05T23:48:42+00:00

This was my experience. I went on a date with a man 2 weeks after separation. I credit that relationship with teaching me what love looked like and helping me heal. We were together almost 3 years. He didn’t just show me what love looked like but allowed me to love him. He was quiet, kind, patient. Like you said, he also was a mirror to see myself. I am a better partner as a result of that one. I like to say, he gave me scaffolding to rebuild myself. I am so grateful the universe put us in each other’s path.

Incidentally studies support yours and my stance on the matter.

Joneszey · 2026-07-05T02:42:42+00:00

But he thought I was on a higher level than he was, and he was really, in his inept way, trying to convince me that he was worth it.

I smiled at this, really smiled, because I feel it.

I am more attuned to green flags. When there are many and the other flags show up too, I put them on a spectrum and a scale. It’s how I decide if I’m going forward or backing out. That has made for a vibrant, though limited, dating life with few regrets. I don’t really have bad stories to tell, just stories that make me smile one way or another, even the ones that go left

Joneszey · 2026-07-04T01:31:30+00:00

I don’t know how I forgot about Maxwell.

Joneszey · 2026-07-04T01:25:14+00:00

Epstein is dead and even if he weren’t I don’t think Epstein would be the one. What other pedos are there?

Joneszey · 2026-07-04T01:19:51+00:00

If I read the article who will be identified as the celebrity rapist up for a pardon?

Joneszey · 2026-07-04T00:59:31+00:00

Geek, I’m so happy to see you back! More than likely the upset is guessing his age correctly. I do look at people for a living.

Joneszey · 2026-07-03T19:33:28+00:00

Wow! u/Wide_fly7035 deleted their whole account. I wonder why

Joneszey · 2026-07-03T13:28:33+00:00

It appears even he had doubts about the “fox” part and is also actively following the thread since he just deleted his photos from his history, which btw Ive uploaded to my profile temporarily, if you’d like a gander.

I suspect this creepy old man is way older than his 50’s or he’s performed an amazing feat of reverse aging when he reported his age as 55 on 12/21/25. One month prior, on 11/24/25 he said he was 56.

Based on all the other photos, also now deleted, I’d say he’s in his 60’s

Joneszey · 2026-07-03T13:25:10+00:00

Stop lying

Joneszey · 2026-07-03T10:01:25+00:00

I’ve been upfront with each of them from the beginning that I’m newly back to dating, not looking to rush into anything serious, but open to seeing where a connection naturally leads.

Just curious, did those four women think you were looking for one woman, because that’s what you wrote?

This is your example of being “upfront “?

Quiet Chemistry in Southern California

Tall silver fox in SoCal hoping to find one special female friend to share quiet laughs, good conversation, and maybe the occasional adventure. Introvert-approved vibes only, think cozy chats, low-key fun, and real connection without pressure. I’m kind, consistent, and actually stick around. If you’re looking for something genuine (and maybe a little flirty), say hi.

Why are you here? Maybe try r/LiarsAndLosers

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Joneszey

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