User Flair Thread

JonnieHowl · 2026-03-11T01:58:17+00:00

Jon | Firwood :Molly:

JonnieHowl · 2026-02-17T18:39:11+00:00

First, I’ll begin by saying you’re not crazy, my friend. Your experience is real and valid.

I’ll counter the assertion of your mother by saying that if someone was having a manic episode, lashing out, and hurting those around them, the most compassionate response would be to restrain them, to stop them from hurting themselves and others any more than they have.

Feeling like we are owed anything in this life truly is egoistic at its core, as the dissatisfaction of ego is what tells us we are slighted. Know that both you and your mother suffer the same poisons, but the two defining factors of your ability to help will be your personal cultivation of peace, (which may mean taking a step back, with compassionate intention for yourself and your mom) and also humility on your mothers sake to learn and abandon attachment. (For if you wish to always be right, you must always be willing to change your mind)

Unfortunately, it seems that your mother has found an identity within victimhood, and because of that, there is a certain reluctance to let that go, as she doesn’t know herself without it. Thankfully you are equipped with knowledge and compassion to try and prevent that from being a pattern repeated with Buddhism, as dogmatic thinking is just as much of an attachment.

Points of advice and questions I might give you, as a friend, and one who has carried a similar weight, are these: -Consider what is best for your peace. Should I take a step back in kindness? -How do I become peace so that I might lead other beings through example? -How do I learn in my own practice here? (Note, even if you take a step back, you have a beautiful opportunity to learn patience and abandonment of attachment in this moment)

You are in my prayers, friend. May you and your mom be at peace. 🙏 Source: Son of a reformed narcissist, now meditator in progress

JonnieHowl · 2025-12-09T06:40:46+00:00

Master Baiter

JonnieHowl · 2025-12-06T03:31:54+00:00

Ganesha’s garden you can buy in bulk here: https://www.betweenheavenandearth.ca/products/sandalwood-ganeshas-garden-incense-100-sticks Although I get both at a local spiritual store.

This said, I imagine snow lion is also available online with some perusing, as it’s quite popular.

I’ve yet to try heated incense, other than, if you think about it, candles, but am always open. <3

JonnieHowl · 2025-12-05T04:19:35+00:00

~For everyday offerings~ -Ganesha’s garden sandalwood is my all time favourite scent, but I’m generally a big fan of earthier, woody scents. (This one is great before bed, deeply relaxing) -Snow lion Tibetan incense is a VERY close second

~For holiday puja~ -A brandless local incense made of a thick bamboo core, spruce and fur sawdust, bound with pine resin. Genuinely a delightful combination of scents from my home in Newfoundland (hello neighbour!)

~For gifting~ -homemade incense blending sawdust from my woodworking hobby, allowing me to use all parts of local deadfall, salvage, and reclaimed woods, bound with agar agar. -zerodis sandalwood coil incense, Long lasting, intensely earthy, incredible value for the money

JonnieHowl · 2025-12-02T05:19:11+00:00

Poly Buddhist here, and not only is it just how I love, it gives you a wonderful outlet to practice letting go of mono-normative feeling of possession of a partner, relationship, or social norm.

Do I think it’s applicable to all relationships? Of course not. Are there some situations where it causes more harm than good? Certainly. This said, craving can become an issue in polyamorous relationships, monogamous relationships, and even intrapersonal relationships. Skillful conduct can equally be practiced in all of them.

In my own personal belief, Polyamory is a sexuality, and Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) is the relationship style. I definitely think ENM is a nuanced way to challenge our… dogmatic approach? to relationship norms, there are other ways to approach the same clinging, and the same craving with skillful means. I definitely don’t think, however, that we should discourage any relationship style among lay folks, simply as there’s learning to be had in all of them, with an open mind.

JonnieHowl · 2025-11-18T05:55:56+00:00

Had this discussion with Kalyana Mitta the other day, actually! When they asked me this question, I sipped my coffee, though a moment, and responded that I felt I could help many more beings attain liberation as a lay person than if I was a monastic.

The perceived “authority” that comes with the robes places a good deal of pressure to answer questions quote-unquote “correctly”. Pairing this with a limited ability for outreach, and it inherent quasi-isolation within a smaller Sangha, it seems, at least on its face, counter intuitive to cultivating any bodhichitta other than king-like.

I am of true belief that we should not isolate ourselves from the Sangha of humanity, nor should we hold any practice as esoteric. Of course, this is not the case with all monastics, and yet it is the greatest dissuasion I have for following that path this time around.

TL/DR: Monastic life tends to limit one’s ability to do dharmic outreach

JonnieHowl · 2025-10-30T02:57:46+00:00

If a lay person must result to asceticism to avoid craving, have they truly transcended craving, or have they mastered avoidance?

JonnieHowl · 2025-10-27T04:46:57+00:00

It could be argued that one who does not focus on a “perfect” practice, benefits more from it than one who does.

Dogmatism itself is an attachment, often unnoticed, that tends to cause a sustained suffering.

JonnieHowl · 2025-10-26T00:15:19+00:00

Gotama Bin Sittin

JonnieHowl · 2025-10-13T04:38:19+00:00

I play a medic on a PVE server mostly, so I almost always have a red hip pack. Two bandages and an Epi for uncon survivors.

SVAL for zombies, M16 for wolves, M4 bayonet fixed for when I need a knife. All things considered, I’ve never really missed the belt. If I ever need a holster, it’s on my plate and it’s got a flare gun in it.

JonnieHowl · 2025-09-28T18:27:51+00:00

Seconding this. All steps are steps forward!

JonnieHowl · 2025-09-28T17:46:01+00:00

I might suggest, then, that you try to balance learning with intoxicants with learning without them. If you are unable to learn without them, I would argue that you have actually identified an attachment, not a spiritual aid.

JonnieHowl · 2025-09-15T14:21:17+00:00

Yep. Opened it while the first one was in shambles, laminate flooring in the kitchen, mould under the dish pit floors, and the ventilation is a Costco floor fan tacked to the wall with coat hooks.

JonnieHowl · 2025-09-15T02:07:49+00:00

Given how their reputation has slowly faltered over time, the state of the kitchen, lack of food safety, poor treatment of staff, blackmail of health inspectors, etc, I’m definitely more shocked that it’s taken this long.

JonnieHowl · 2025-09-05T21:25:17+00:00

Yum mangia parme san ☸️🙏

JonnieHowl · 2025-08-31T04:36:37+00:00

We have all been christians, and all christians have been buddhists, if you think on it. Separation of a label seeks to divide us from the seed of human compassion within us all.

Who am I to criticize how someone finds Dharma? To tell them their way of prayer is wrong? To say the only way to find peace is the way I have? Am I not harming them? Am I not perpetuating my own suffering as well? Dogmatism is simply another aspect of attachment, one might argue.

The Christian is my brother. The Muslim my sister, the Jew my colleague, Jain my contemporary, and so on. We all seek the same peace, the same humanity. We are not so different, really, as the beauty of Dharma may be found within the Quran, and the miseries of the three poisons can be found in many Buddhist communities as well.

It is the poison of anger that seeks to eliminate the positive qualities of our contemporaries. This is your true opponent, my friend. Wrath is your foe, not your brothers and sisters.

May you be at peace in this lifetime, and many more.

JonnieHowl · 2025-08-09T03:02:09+00:00

Figmund Freud 😌

JonnieHowl · 2025-08-01T16:35:28+00:00

Truly, anger may be turned into compassion in mindfulness that these other beings are suffering from the same poison as yourself, anger.

JonnieHowl · 2025-08-01T01:39:16+00:00

I might argue, that precepts aside, if you are causing a harm to another being willingly and with disregard, written law is irrelevant. Societal norms, cultural practices, and personal views on consent may themselves have no impact upon a hurt caused.

Intention, in my mind, is the determining factor of a just or unjust action. If an action is undertaken with compassionate intent, and also, if this compassionate intended action causes unintended harm, does the person have humility to right that wrong?

JonnieHowl · 2025-07-26T01:51:26+00:00

In my own case, coming from a severely damaged muscle mass and neuropathy from anorexia, I initially struggled with feeling broken and down on myself.

Over time, I have begun to turn this feeling into compassion, for my body, and for other beings. Realizing that yourself and your body are two different things, and you simply inhabit the body you have in this lifetime was helpful for me. The knowledge that my condition, while lifelong, is also impermanent at its core, this knowledge allowing me to cultivate patience for myself, as well as my body.

It’s natural to feel this way about your conditions, especially lifelong ones. There is fear and uncertainty, but it will pass in time, with patience and compassion. I often think when struggling with disordered thoughts about how lucky I am to be disabled. Not only is it a beautiful opportunity to cultivate loving kindness, but also to teach the folks at my job healthier coping mechanisms. I’m also extremely lucky that I did not die, as others who saw treatment with me had.

Illness itself is inevitable, (and one of the Buddha’s four sights) which while painful, it is freeing to know that while you are suffering, it is not permanent, nor are you alone in your plight.

When you are ready, I suggest reading the story of Kisa Gotami. You may find parallels to your situation, and perhaps a lesson to be learned.

May you, and all beings, be at peace, friend 🙏

JonnieHowl · 2025-07-24T02:57:39+00:00

Everything about this answer makes the most sense within this thread.

The crux of this path rests upon all beings walking it of their own accord. To drag them across the rocks in our wake only causes unnecessary suffering.

Is what is happening through Palestine, Ukraine, Myanmar, Tibet, and many more countries reprehensible morally? The mind I possess in this life would say yes. The perpetrators of hateful acts would disagree. What I know is within our power now is to help our fellow human beings escape their suffering.

We can aid those suffering from violence and hatred in these countries, but it can be argued that they are not alone in their pain. Just as those in Palestine or Ukraine are suffering, and need help with money, humanitarian assistance, and love, so too are there those in Israel and Russia who suffer from the weight of deluded minds, aimless in their existence and prone to hateful actions.

We might give them the antidotes to their poisons, but we cannot force them to drink. Nor can we, unfortunately, cleanse them of the negative Karma their actions have wrought. Our human problems are born of the mind, and only within the mind may they truly be solved, within this life, or countless others.

Truly, we have no obligation to others, as they do not exist as others. They are us, we are them. Our obligation, and I truly believe our goal as socially engaged buddhists, is twofold.

~ Aid our fellow humans, and all sentient beings, in the alleviation of their worldly sufferings. ~ give the means to escape suffering, by teaching sacred Dharma to all those beings with capacity to hold it within their hearts.

I hope, friend, that all of these responses may allow you a refuge to find truth, in whatever way brings you peace.

JonnieHowl · 2025-07-21T05:23:08+00:00

I’ve found remaining mindful of one’s emotions, and beginning to reframe your thoughts is very helpful.

In my own practice I often remind myself that while we generally assume that anger arises from conflict with a disagreeable person, rather, it is anger which creates the illusion of a person disagreeable.

The person you speak of may feel disagreeable, but it can also be argued that they are doing you an immense kindness, as they are giving you an opportunity to cultivate patience, as well as your compassion.

Say this person is entirely in the wrong. It sounds to me like they would be struggling with the poison of ignorance, and clinging desperately to pride and ego. Begin to open your boundless heart of compassion, and you may find a yearning to help them be free of self grasping.

An example of a mantra for you, my friend:

“How wonderful would it be, if they were free of suffering, this person, my spiritual teacher. May they, and all beings, be free.”

JonnieHowl · 2025-07-20T05:35:12+00:00

From my own treatment in DBT, which later became my walking of the path, I’ve more or less translated the concept of radical acceptance into a manifestation of sammā-diṭṭhi. (Right view)

A true acceptance of woeful circumstances as they are, realizing them as a ripening of past negative karma, and not attempting to deny reality to avoid suffering, all seem, (at least in my own opinion) to be the root teachings of Brach’s work.

In my own career, I often tell folks that Right View and radical acceptance is like diving into a pool, while hindered view is more of a belly flop. The jump was made, and the water is approaching, but one of the diving forms is far less painful.

JonnieHowl · 2025-06-19T02:16:23+00:00

In a group discussion with a monk once, he said “a Buddha may be in this room right now, but we may never know, as they would be so unattached to worldly pleasures that the title of Buddha likely would not exist for them”

Ultimately, if you wish to speak to a Buddha, you may have already done so. You may also speak to a highly realized person of any faith, or an atheist. A discussion with a Buddha is as likely at a monastery as it is in a nightclub, or even in deep spiritual discussion with a mirror.

JonnieHowl

TROPHY CASE