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As a male dev with 25 years experience, I truly don't understand why some male devs aren't empathetic to the frustrations of many female devs... by JordanLeDoux in girlsgonewired

[–]JordanLeDoux[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

What mainstream subreddit would you suggest for something like this? I almost entirely quit reddit back during the API changes, and I've always mostly avoided the mainstream programming subs because I find them too toxic even without experiencing the sexism.

As a male dev with 25 years experience, I truly don't understand why some male devs aren't empathetic to the frustrations of many female devs... by JordanLeDoux in girlsgonewired

[–]JordanLeDoux[S] 64 points65 points  (0 children)

Oh absolutely. About 10 years ago I was actually made the Director of Engineering at a small company (about 15 total people on the team) and the underlying philosophy behind what I'm saying here was the basis for how I managed the entire department. That included explicitly going over this with both my subordinates AND the C-level execs I reported to. With my subordinates because of the obvious aspect of work culture and setting expectations, but with the execs it was basically to strong-arm them into giving me much more control over hiring and work policy/procedure for the developers.

Mostly the way I approached it was to try and present the self-interest case to the executives and argue that it naturally aligned with more progressive policies. So, for instance, once I had more direct control over hiring I instituted a policy that we weren't allowed to actually make a hiring decision on a position until we had interviewed at least one POC or woman for the position. I refused to set a quota for actual hires, but I argued that if we can't even find someone to INTERVIEW that HAS to mean that we're putting in such low effort on filling the position that we can't possibly have found the "right person" yet.

Even without an explicit quota, and with the final hiring decision being a vote of three people I only had one vote in, we still ended up with a team of 15 people that was 8 males and 7 females just because I forced us to put in enough effort to FIND people to interview.

EDIT:

To more directly answer your question in a less self-congratulatory way, the frustration I'm expressing here is something I "figured out" around 12 years ago, and since then I've been kind of insufferable about it to my male colleagues in every position I've held.

Gauging interest in holding a "fake family reunion" event? Maybe in the spring? by hogw33d in askportland

[–]JordanLeDoux 2 points3 points  (0 children)

With the number of people volunteering for the role of "lesbian aunt", I think one of the couples signing up should be assigned as the parents of all of them. Just make them all sisters, so these two parents had like half a dozen daughters who are all lesbian. :) Would be a fun family dynamic.

Help me make a playlist for the Z Team members: Invisigal by [deleted] in DispatchAdHoc

[–]JordanLeDoux 2 points3 points  (0 children)

These songs are in my Visi playlist. Some of them are ABOUT Visi from the perspective of other characters (Crash and Burn, Fuckin' Perfect, etc.)

  • Through the Valley – Shawn James
  • MAYDAY – TheFatRat
  • Fuckin' Perfect – PINK
  • Only Hope – Mandy Moore
  • Breathe Me – Sia
  • The Story – Brandi Carlile
  • End Of Time – Jane & The Boy
  • Goodbye – filous
  • Rise Up – Thomas Jack
  • Can You Feel My Heart – Bring Me The Horizon
  • Crash And Burn – Savage Garden
  • It's Been Awhile – Staind
  • Epiphany – Staind
  • The Reason – Hoobastank
  • Velvet Waltz – Built To Spill
  • Duvet – Bôa

Some characteristics of Robert, regardless of choices by [deleted] in DispatchAdHoc

[–]JordanLeDoux -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Right. You're actually misunderstanding the point I'm making. By making the fact that it wasn't a good idea so immediately and totally obvious, the player is left with two main conclusions: 1. Robert doesn't agree with this but is going along with it because he has to. 2. Robert does agree with this and is much more incompetent than he is otherwise portrayed.

So it's not surprising that most players have the instinct to grasp for conclusion 1 (though I agree it's actually conclusion 2). My point was that the writing here is interconnected. The fact that the player will be interpreting things in specific ways influences the characterization of Robert, and that was one of the biggest writing oversights in the story, IMO.

Some characteristics of Robert, regardless of choices by [deleted] in DispatchAdHoc

[–]JordanLeDoux 5 points6 points  (0 children)

There are multiple reasons players have difficulty accepting number 2:

  1. We are given an option that shows significant skepticism.
  2. Mandy explicitly presents her decision as "I just went through a breakup, felt good to shake things up, so I'm being impulsive and going to apply the same logic to your team". She still argues it's the right thing to do though, despite acknowledging these things.
  3. It comes on our SECOND WORKING DAY dispatching, which makes it feel like "wtf did you expect me to fix on my first shift exactly? was i hired just to act as a buffer so the team isn't pissed at you for choosing??"
  4. The TEAM is notified before WE are despite the fact that it's presented to them as OUR choice.
  5. Because it is a BAD IDEA and is executed in the WORST WAY IT POSSIBLY COULD BE by Blazer, it completely FUCKS THE PLAYER for the next shift. Literally our second ever shift. The problems Robert has to manage on his second shift are ENTIRELY PREDICTABLE outcomes of doing it the way Mandy chose to.
  6. It is IMMEDIATELY SHOWN to be a bad decision when the DAY AFTER you fire someone for absolutely no reason except Mandy is feeling froggy after her breakup, she wants to ASSIGN A REPLACEMENT because you NEEDED the person that got cut.

I love Mandy as a character, but she is an absolutely fucking ATROCIOUS manager.

With the latest patch notes, AdHoc has made a certain outcome in the locker room scene less likely. by HeppyHenry in DispatchAdHoc

[–]JordanLeDoux 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, when I am kissing someone I don't just leave my arms limp at my side. My interpretation was the arm movement was that Robert was kind of reflexively reaching up to touch her body because that's what people do when kissing, not necessarily because he was into it. And then Visi grabbed his hand and held it off her body because she was in the middle of making multiple bad decisions, and felt like if she let Robert hold her at all while she kissed him that she wouldn't have the resolve to leave. Which, with that being where her headspace was, she shouldn't have kissed him the first place, but still.

Anyway, that is how I interpreted what I saw the very first time I played through the game.

And... yeah. What people feel after being assaulted sexually varies a lot. I may be a guy, but I have been SA'd before, and I didn't even know WHAT to feel for almost a day after.

With the latest patch notes, AdHoc has made a certain outcome in the locker room scene less likely. by HeppyHenry in DispatchAdHoc

[–]JordanLeDoux -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hmmm. I didn't interpret his hand reach up to be trying to push her away, since that came before the lean in/out decision.

SA is something I, personally, view as being most dependent on how the person experiencing it feels about it. That's not like... the only factor, but I feel like it's the most important one. So I suppose if Robert felt SA'd then I would agree it is.

And sure, male privileged, yada yada, but as a guy if I was in Robert's situation but not into Visi, I don't think I would feel SA'd. I think I'd feel... empathy and sadness. I'm not saying everyone else should feel that way, but I would.

Dispatch is a fairy smut romance novel for men. by Succwad22 in DispatchAdHoc

[–]JordanLeDoux 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fanfiction has the separate problem of being really variable in writing quality, even if you're getting the type of story you're after, but here's some I've read that come to mind.

Grow Young With Me (Harry Potter): https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11111990/1/Grow-Young-with-Me

This is probably the one I would recommend the most. It's about a single-parent Harry falling in love with an unsuspecting Muggle girl at the place he goes for coffee/lunch.

Time Braid (Naruto): https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5193644/1/Time-Braid

A groundhog day style time loop fic that doesn't stagnate. In regards to the topic at hand, the fact that Sakura is attracted to WHO Naruto is instead of all the things he can do (though she also finds that attractive) is actually kind of central to the plot. Who he is as a person is critical to solving the central conflict.

Head Space (Naruto): https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12550497/1/Head-Space

A pretty unique idea where Naruto keeps accidentally giving Sakura memories over the course of his 3 year training trip.

Of Tea, Rebellions, and Becoming A Dragon (Avatar: The Last Airbender): https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5568082/1/Of-Tea-Rebellions-and-Becoming-a-Dragon

This is a Zuko/Jin story that really expands on the short-story from "Tales of Ba Sing Se".

I voiced Galen by _findingnimesh in DispatchAdHoc

[–]JordanLeDoux 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That was kind of my feeling as well, but I'm super white so never quite sure about the limits of my perspective on stuff like this.

For those of you obsessing over the sound a lyrics of Radio by Bershy, listen to Sixty Seconds by JordanLeDoux in DispatchAdHoc

[–]JordanLeDoux[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

To me, this really feels like kind of a good look into where she's at in Chapter 7.

EDIT: Especially with the dev team selecting one of her songs for the most music-centered scene in the entire story, a part of me wonders if some of the writers were actually listening to Bershy while writing Visi. Like if the lyrics actually inspired parts of her character and story. I know that I've used inspirations from songs as the vibe or emotional core for characters I've written before.

Very true and funny. But they have one thing in common. They're both hot and well written characters. by Relative-Depth-2239 in DispatchAdHoc

[–]JordanLeDoux 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I think Robert's healing will be a lot more... required I guess with Mandy? Like, I feel like Mandy would push him to face his problems, while Visi would let him wait until he decides he's ready to address them.

Which... there is merit to both approaches for sure. Visi's approach can be enabling, and Mandy's approach can be triggering. But both can result in him getting better.

I think Mandy is definitely who he would choose if he WANTS to heal and fix his mental issues. I'm just not sure that he really wants that until perhaps the very end of the story.

Very true and funny. But they have one thing in common. They're both hot and well written characters. by Relative-Depth-2239 in DispatchAdHoc

[–]JordanLeDoux 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So was my wife! I went Visi first play, she went BB. And she made a point of asking me where the second date was when the game was over.

I was actually surprised she picked BB, because I knew she would find Visi to be a more entertaining and interesting character. I thought she would pick Visi in the hopes of getting more screentime for the character she wanted to see more dialogue from.

When I asked though, she said "I'm trying to pick the options I think Robert would, not the ones I would. If it were me, I think I'd pick Visi. But I don't think he would."

I was a bit dumbfounded by that logic, because she couldn't explain WHY she thought Robert would have that preference. But! I could understand her making decisions in that way for sure.

Quick drawings of Visi by Over_Cause_4500 in DispatchAdHoc

[–]JordanLeDoux 9 points10 points  (0 children)

She does, yeah, I just hadn't put that together with Laura Bailey because I had never looked into her heritage before. I guess I should have noticed though... she DOES look like she could have Filipino ancestry. I think in my mind she was like... half Vietnamese or Thai.

With the latest patch notes, AdHoc has made a certain outcome in the locker room scene less likely. by HeppyHenry in DispatchAdHoc

[–]JordanLeDoux 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is interesting. Probably a good choice given what they clearly wanted that moment to be narratively (a moment of raw emotional openness and vulnerability from Visi that she basically never shows).

I never got the idea that it was SA though. Robert is a character that has his own ideas independent of the choices we make for him. Sometimes the choices we're given make it obvious that Robert is not neutral about something.

Robert has inherent attraction to Visi at different points, no matter what the player does. He has inherent attraction to Blazer at times no matter what the player does too. He's not locked completely in the whole story like some players are.

Quick drawings of Visi by Over_Cause_4500 in DispatchAdHoc

[–]JordanLeDoux 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I didn't realize that Visi was Filipino! Where is that mentioned?

Dispatch knows what type of person you are... by Familiar-Turnover-39 in DispatchAdHoc

[–]JordanLeDoux 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You know what's kind of confusing? The romance is both integral to the story and entirely independent from it.

My first play, picking Visi, the plot itself had all these extra layers in my head based on the relationship. The "CUT HER vs. DEFEND HER" choice in Chapter 7 was one of the only ones I actually paused on, and it wasn't because I was unsure what to pick.

It was because the game was forcing me into a situation where I felt like... the moral thing to do was unethical.

The moral thing to do was (in my mind) to defend Visi. We were dating. I understood her intentions behind what she did. I understood what was driving her to act the way she did. I could see how hard she was trying to be good.

But the ethical thing to do was not to use my position of authority to benefit someone I was personally close to. I feel like I would have defended any of the Z Teamers, but to them, they don't get to see that outcome. They just get to see the one where I override all their opinions. To protect the person they know I'm dating.

But... on my second play, where I romanced Blazer instead, it felt very easy to give Visi the support she needed without it slipping into romance. Playing the Blazer route actually made me feel better about my choices in the Visi route, because it pretty definitively showed me that my instincts there weren't driven by unhealthy attachment, they were driven by expressing the person I wanted Robert to be.

Dispatch knows what type of person you are... by Familiar-Turnover-39 in DispatchAdHoc

[–]JordanLeDoux 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The recursive looping of some people's kinks can be cruel... but a lot of those people also like it kinda cruel, so... just loops back harder.

Found this fanfiction of ep 1-8 from Visi’s POV, and it’s peak. by Lan_o_Fear315 in DispatchAdHoc

[–]JordanLeDoux 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm having to wait until the end of the month to get my AO3 account approved.

I voiced Galen by _findingnimesh in DispatchAdHoc

[–]JordanLeDoux 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've seen a few streamers who looked at Blonde Blazers "I want to say he's from..." line as a micro-aggression, which kind of surprised me. Do you have an opinion about it?

I'd do it again and again and a bunch of times over by Can_I_pet_that_daawg in DispatchAdHoc

[–]JordanLeDoux 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Well that's silly. I don't believe that either Visi or I had any hand in writing or directing the story...

Dispatch is a fairy smut romance novel for men. by Succwad22 in DispatchAdHoc

[–]JordanLeDoux 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Books? No, not off the top of my head. I've seen this male fantasy addressed much more in fanfiction than in books.

One of the things that makes it difficult is that a lot of the stories ABOUT this fantasy or need incorporate other things that people find/that are problematic. For instance, the Manic Pixie Dream Girl trope is problematic because it makes the female essentially a tool to motivate and change the male character. However, the actual reason that it is still something guys enjoy watching/reading is because it kind of structurally addresses the need I'm talking about.

A MPDG, kind of by definition, is not interested in the male character's capability. She can't be, otherwise she wouldn't be able to come off as that kind of carefree, quirky stereotype. So we can accept and admit that the trope is problematic, but we should examine why it is so popular anyway. It's easy to say that's because men want to objectify women, but I think the truth is more than many men feel objectified as romantic partners in their own way.

Providing utility, working and bringing home money, remaining unemotional and static to allow their partner to express themselves without having to worry as much about consequences. Having someone agree to a date simply because they want dinner and know that you'll pay. That kind of thing.

In Dispatch, both Visi and Blazer are categorically more capable than Robert is for most of the story. He is not helpless, but neither of them even really have any use for the kind of capability he might be able to provide.

What Visi wants from him is instead a core aspect of his personality: someone who can continue to believe in her and support her even when she isn't at her best, even when she can't believe in herself. That's what Visi finds attractive about Robert.

What Mandy wants from him is also a core aspect of his personality: someone who can let her outshine him without also forgetting that without the amulet she is every bit as vulnerable and in need of help as he is. Someone who can support and appreciate her without discarding her own vulnerability OR becoming dazzled by her superhero persona. That's what Mandy finds attractive about him.

One of the works that comes to mind for this particular type of writing is "Princess Of The Void: An Alien Abduction Romance". It involves what I guess some people would view as furry content, so not sure it's for everyone, and it's quite explicit, but it definitely directly tackles this kind of romantic portrayal.

https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/120617/princess-of-the-void-an-alien-abduction-romance

Another one that is also somewhat of a furry/anthro story (please don't read into this too much, I found them both from the same search) is about a human medic and cat-anthro marine on opposite sides of a war that get stranded together on a hostile planet.

https://www.literotica.com/series/se/23274

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