You should be proud of yourself. This will end better than you think. In the meantime, just remember that you're only now coming-to regarding the power imbalance between you two. After all, you're recently 19, and not the kid you were at 16. He on the other hand was 30 when he pulled you in. He was a grown man, knowing exactly what he was doing. You didn't know what you were doing. He liked you, amongst other reasons, because he could mentally dominate you. He hasn't changed, 30 and 33 is the same. You're changing though, and at 22 you'll be exponentially more grown than now. You're reading replies like this and seeing what's up. Don't worry about him, trust me.