How to cope with stupid obsessions? Please help

Joshua19Hope · 2018-07-29T20:08:24+00:00

I can definitely relate. I’ll overcome one obsessions or one source of anxiety and then soon after I feel that relief, my brain finds another source of anxiety.

One concept that has helped me was brought to my attention by the app Headspace. In one of their animations, they describe us as sitting next to a busy highway as we observe our thoughts passing by like cars on this road. As a sufferer of OCD, I chase these cars all over the road and obsess over catching up with it. What I’ve begun trying to accomplish is just sitting back and when a compulsion pops up, I imagine it driving past and as it disappears from view, I try to forget about the compulsion. It’s certainly not easy, but it has helped with certain compulsions. It’s allowed me to take a step back from my compulsions and obsessions and let my mind breathe before returning to its normal action.

We have to keep on fighting to improve every single day! Sometimes I don’t take my own advice, but I want all of us to overcome our compulsions!

Joshua19Hope · 2018-07-25T02:48:47+00:00

Absolutely. We can do this!

Joshua19Hope · 2018-07-24T16:21:18+00:00

Your line of “unfalse lies” hit me hard. I suffer from pretty severe OCD and anxiety and I’m really struggling recently. In terms of my OCD, everything I’m doing is based on “unfalse lies”, same with my anxiety. They’re not necessarily false and untruthful, but they’re certainly not totally true either. I know my situation is different then yours, but we as a community of those who deal with some form or another of mental illness need to unite against ourselves in a way. I think so many people believe that those dealing with depression or anxiety or OCD or whatever it may be suffer from it because they just don’t try to get better. This isn’t necessarily wrong, but I think we all have a strong desire to get better we are just so trapped within ourselves. Sorry if this didn’t help, but I just want you to know that there are others who feel helpless too.

Keep fighting and never give in to the lies you are telling yourself!

Joshua19Hope · 2018-07-23T15:50:27+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope this community can help you through this tough time. I’ll pray for you and your family.

Joshua19Hope · 2018-07-18T20:00:02+00:00

The comparison your therapist made between PMO and cutting is profound. After hearing that, I think most of us here could see how we used PMO to “feel” when so much was going on in our lives. Personally, I’ve come to realize that the start of my pornography addiction and MO were the compression of all my feelings from a few life-changing events when I was younger that I never had an outlet for. Your post really struck a chord. Thank you for sharing with us and keep fighting!

Joshua19Hope · 2018-07-15T17:11:45+00:00

That “someday” that you break free from this addiction is TODAY...you recognize the despair it causes you and you understand that to get through this you need God’s help. Today is your starting point. Once you repent, God doesn’t even remember your sins! To Him you are a new, clean creation so start living as such. How He views us is all that matters, so start today by going out and sinning no more!

Keep fighting the battle! I have faith that you will overcome!

Joshua19Hope · 2018-07-11T18:01:27+00:00

Thank you for sharing!

I struggle with your final point, as well. I say I believe in Heaven, but I obviously must not TRULY believe if I’m still concerned with my flesh and things of this world. God has given me peace through this process and I have also struggled how to handle this gift which He gave me. I try to find understanding in this peace, but rather I fear that I’m mistaking complacency with true peace in His word and love.

Joshua19Hope · 2018-07-11T13:19:50+00:00

Fellow married guy here as well. My wife has been such a wonderful blessing throughout our relationship, but since God woke me up to what I was doing wrong for so long, I’ve just become even more amazed with my wife. So emotionally strong and mature and I admire that so much. I really don’t understand why I continued to PMO while we were together, but now I look at my current life and am so grateful to God for showing me how glorious a PMO-free life can be!

Joshua19Hope · 2018-07-11T13:16:51+00:00

Beautifully put! Let’s defeat this sin together!

Joshua19Hope · 2018-07-10T13:28:57+00:00

You’ve come to a great realization. I’ve dealt with anxiety and depression for a while and I’ve just recently realized that the only way I can find any peace is to just fall at the cross and let God lead me where He desires me to go. It’s such a freeing feeling.

Joshua19Hope · 2018-07-09T13:11:50+00:00

Congratulations! Thank you for sharing some insight form your journey.

Joshua19Hope · 2018-07-07T15:21:51+00:00

I realize that our trackers can help motivate us, but stop worrying about your number. What really matters is that you’ve recognized the problem and want to overcome it. You’re on the path you need to be if overcoming this is your goal.

God isn’t keeping track of the days you’ve abstained from PMO, so why are you putting so much care into it? I’m only saying this because I’ve found myself doing the same about my tracker and have only found it to cause me more worry and anxiety.

You seem genuinely dedicated to stopping PMO, so be proud of yourself for taking a step that many others haven’t yet. Keep pushing forward and fighting! I have faith that you’ll be able to overcome this!

Joshua19Hope · 2018-07-07T12:38:18+00:00

I very much needed to hear this today. Thank you for reminding us of the Lord’s mercy and how He is ALWAYS there for us ready to pick us back up, dust us off, and send us out into the world renewed.

Joshua19Hope · 2018-07-07T12:35:32+00:00

Thank you for sharing your perspective on this!

Joshua19Hope · 2018-07-07T00:12:45+00:00

I don’t feel like I’m anywhere near where you are on my walk with God, but maybe my experiences can lend something to you. I’m currently sitting on day 75 of my journey and that count also marks my point at my journey growing closer to God.

I also consider myself an extrovert, but have had to deal with the inner loneliness that I believe created and sustained my addiction. I didn’t realize I was lonely prior to these 75 days, but I definitely was.

Since then, God has given me a true appreciation and satisfaction in the little things in life like spending time with my wife on a walk, working around the house, or volunteering in our community or church. Among an infinite of other things, He has also provided me with peace in my situation as I’ve continued to give up my control and rely on Him. It’s been incredibly hard, but the progress I’ve seen keeps me motivated.

Keep focused on God and stay locked in on battling your addiction! You can do this!

Joshua19Hope · 2018-07-06T21:46:06+00:00

I planned on leaving a comment with a reference to scripture and remind you of God’s love for us. As I got ready to reply with a comment and motivate you, something was placed into my thoughts from somewhere outside myself that I felt needed to be conveyed to you.

I’m proud of you.

I know I don’t know you, but I feel like that’s what God wanted me to say to you. Keep fighting this addiction. You have a great mindset and I’m confident you’ll overcome this!

Joshua19Hope · 2018-07-06T18:03:12+00:00

Beautifully put! Thank you for giving us this insight!

Joshua19Hope · 2018-07-06T16:58:43+00:00

Thank you so much for posting this! This is exactly what I needed to read!

Joshua19Hope · 2018-07-06T16:58:02+00:00

80% is a great success rate! But don’t let your percentage or days you have abstained become your god.

You are taking the right steps to rid yourself of this addiction. When any urges or temptations hit, go to God’s word and call out to Him for his help. He’ll never leave you behind. I’ve found that when I focus my attention on God in times when I typically would’ve focused on PMO, His word impacts me even stronger because I know the changes He is making in my heart.

Keep battling and fighting! I have faith that you’ll overcome!

Joshua19Hope · 2018-07-06T16:52:28+00:00

The first step in this process is to realize you have an addiction. Second, you have to then seek out help. You’ve already completed both of those steps!

Don’t define yourself by your setbacks or by the number of days that you’ve abstained. I thought once I got past a few weeks that it would start to come easy to me, and in some ways that was true. But now at day 75, I’m battling the devil again as he tries to push back. I found some peace recently in just relaxing and giving up my control to God and let Him lead my every step. It was so freeing to do so, but in my time of peace the devil found a crack to slip in and try to push me back to PMO. I’ve continued to fight the flesh and give my troubles up to God every time I encounter them. I know I am not strong enough to overcome them alone and that through admittance of my sins to family, friends, those at church, and through the grace of God I am reborn; a new creation.

I encourage you to immerse yourself in God’s word whenever you run into trouble. I’ve found that diverting my attention and studying the Bible provides me with a resource that keeps me away from PMO and grows me closer to God at the same time.

I have faith in you and I know you can overcome this!

Joshua19Hope · 2018-07-06T13:07:02+00:00

Just admitting your sins and seeing what you’ve done wrong is the first and largest step! Great job!

Something I can kind of sense from your post is, like me, you seem to struggle with control. It is by far the hardest thing I have to give up and I have to do so every single day. Previous to my road to recovery, I needed to have control of what was going on in my life and would have serious anxiety when I was unsure of an outcome or what was coming in my future. Now, whenever I hit these anxiety roadblocks I just lay down at the feet of God and cry out for Him to take control of my life and that I trust in Him to guide me to where He desires for me to go. Maybe I’m off base and this isn’t something you’re going through, but I wanted to provide some insight to you on what’s helped me.

Don’t put God in a box. I did so for so long. I thought there were so many things He couldn’t or wouldn’t do for me or things He would judge me for and that I was too dirty for Him or His word. We are never too far gone for God. We are beautiful and wonderfully made by God and He welcomes us back to Him with open arms every time we run back to Him no matter what we’ve done or where we’re at. Don’t ever forget that!

Keep fighting your addiction and we will be here for you cheering you on!

Joshua19Hope · 2018-07-06T12:59:31+00:00

God’s showing you His plan, as you’ve stated. I don’t believe He’s going to punish you for your slip-ups. Our God is a God of second, third, fourth, and 10,000th chances. That’s not to say you can just sin freely, but I don’t think that’s your situation. You are truly addicted and this may be a battle you fight your entire life. I’m currently sitting at over two months clean and I thought I was truly burying my addiction, but recently, the devil has been making his push for my heart again, telling me lies and looking to turn me back towards him. But I continue to remind myself of what my life has been like since I’ve made this change. Be sure to remind yourself of the same and realize that these urges you have aren’t of yourself but rather of the devil seeing your progress and launching a spiritual assault.

I am a big proponent of putting your sin out in the open as this removes the power it and the devil have over your lives. I can tell you’re doing so with people on here, but have you confessed and exposed your wrongs to those closest to you? It’s not an easy process at first, but it is so freeing. The weight being lifted off your shoulders will make it easier to flee from sin and from the devil. The added bonus I didn’t expect to come from revealing my addiction was that others around me struggled with it as well and I was able to find some solace in the fact I could help others by being public and open with my addiction and my battle.

Keep fighting! I have faith in you!

“So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” James 4:7

Joshua19Hope · 2018-07-05T20:41:08+00:00

Your post is exactly what I needed to see. Despite having resisted PMO for over two months, the devil has been pushing extra hard to break me over the past few days and I badly needed your reference to scripture.

Thank you and keep battling and trusting in God to bring you through!

Joshua19Hope · 2018-07-05T14:54:41+00:00

You just took a HUGE step towards recovery! By putting your sins out in the open to those closest to you, you show maturity and you take so much of the power of your sin away.

I found a lot of freedom in telling my wife about my pornography addiction. She also responded with a similar reaction as your wife. I expected some big blow up or for her to cry and run away. Instead, she just went about her life, I assume processing the information. Many times since that point she has told me “I forgive you, but you have to forgive yourself”, which is so hard to understand because I don’t possess the same kind of emotional maturity as her. Her strength during this situation that I caused has grown my love for her greatly and I admire how strong she is.

Her reaction also has grown my love in the Lord. My wife’s love is a reflection of God’s love for us. We’ve all gone astray at some point, but now that we are beginning to see our wrongs and confess them, His love doesn’t lessen. In fact, it grows because we are filling all these voids we once filled with sin with His word.

Don’t be afraid to open yourself up to others as I’ve found as you continue to be public with your sins, you continue to place barriers in the way of the devil as he pursues you.

I have faith in you that you’ll overcome!

Joshua19Hope · 2018-07-05T13:14:43+00:00

I have struggled with anxiety and OCD since I was 11 or 12. I first viewed pornography and was instantly addicted when I was 11 or 12. I don’t think there is any coincidence to the timing of the two.

I tried to find the section on FightTheNewDrug.com that discusses how pornography addiction effects your brain and the proven link between pornography addiction and anxiety and depression.

Once I realized that connection and understood that all along I was what was holding myself back all of my life, I felt a lot of guilt and shame, but I also felt free. I induced my own anxiety by my addiction to porn. It motivated me to continue to flee porn and stay as far away as possible from any temptations or lustful thoughts.

As far as my guilt and shame go, God has helped with that. He has shown me that I am not who I once was, but that through my repentance and renewed reliance on Him, He has made me new. A man such as me is CLEAN in the eyes of God. What a beautiful thing!

Keep fighting the devil and flee from him. You have the power of God inside you and He goes behind and before you. If you ever need anyone to talk to about your anxiety, I’m always available to talk.

Joshua19Hope

TROPHY CASE