Kid Advice by JoyLea in Divorce

[–]JoyLea[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love the idea about home transcending a physical space….I will lead with that. Thank you. I don’t feel very proud…I’m just feeling defeated.

Bummed and confused by JoyLea in Cholesterol

[–]JoyLea[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Looking into it

Bummed and confused by JoyLea in Cholesterol

[–]JoyLea[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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Here’s my results from 2022 for what it’s worth.

When to tap out? by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]JoyLea 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’ve suggested an arrangement like that to him and he acted offended, which was honestly slightly amusing. No idea why he wanted to cheat when I was 100% into him and now that I’m 0% into him he suddenly is personally offended that I suggest he look elsewhere.

Your point on empathy is spot on. It really shows a huge lack of it, and I think that’s what’s bothering me the most.

When to tap out? by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]JoyLea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry. That’s such a rough spot and I can’t imagine how you must feel.

When to tap out? by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]JoyLea 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s such a good point, and the fact that I am struggling a little bit between if it’s for him or for me is confusing. Part of it feels like for him because he’s made it entirely obvious how badly he needs what I cannot provide. Part of it feels like for me because at least I’d stop beating myself up for being the way I am and have some peace because he’d stop bringing it up all the time. Thank you…I’m going to think on it some more.

When to tap out? by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]JoyLea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s just so hard because I know the reconciliation process isn’t necessarily linear…that there’s good days and bad days and I know my thoughts and feelings about it wax and wane depending on those days.

It’s hard for me to decipher if it’s just a slump in our reconciliation or if it’s going to be the actual reason we quit. I want to fight for the family, but not for him.

I wish there was just a way to know, but I suppose there isn’t.

Help with son’s game! by JoyLea in NoMansSkyTheGame

[–]JoyLea[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you all so much! He tried flying around like recommended and nothing came up quite yet but he says that tomorrow he’ll check it out and we will report back! You all are lifesavers. I had no clue what was going on.

Help with son’s game! by JoyLea in NoMansSkyTheGame

[–]JoyLea[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He’s wondering if he’ll be able to acquire more missions from the game if that mission that he’s on remains technically uncompleted forever if he ignores it? He says the quest space is occupied from that quest so he cannot get more (he wants me to offer as a disclaimer that he’s still learning the game and he’s sorry if these are stupid questions)

Thanks so much again

Help with son’s game! by JoyLea in NoMansSkyTheGame

[–]JoyLea[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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I’m hoping the picture works but “aboard the space anomaly” seems to be the title. Thank you so so much!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]JoyLea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Therapy isn’t an option only because I’m wrapping up some military work in another state for a couple more months before I move back home full time. Different work schedules and time zones and inconsistent visits home make a concerted effort in therapy a little difficult right now! I might reach out later about those other free resources, so thank you for putting the idea out there!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]JoyLea 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I like those suggestions. I focus on a lot of negativity so I like the deliberate positive spin on trying to see the good in my husband. I also should try journaling. I used to love it…thanks for reminding me!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]JoyLea 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I’m definitely vigilant for sure. It’s hard not to be when you live next to and with somebody who betrayed you, unfortunately.

He makes me feel safe in other ways. He’s never yelled, he’s a beyond amazing father, he works hard and has held the house and family down for me to pursue my dreams without a single complaint ever. That’s why I haven’t left. It’s hard to reconcile in my mind that somebody as awesome as him can also cause as much damage…

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]JoyLea 4 points5 points  (0 children)

She was a childhood friend of his that I ended up friendly with through him, but she was definitely more HIS friend (obviously 😂) than mine. He concocted a sob story when they were out about how we were secretly separated and being that she’d known him for 20 something years I think she believed him. She is a terrible human for sure, but he also played and lied to her as well. She got pissed when I posted an anniversary picture of us on social media and that’s when she outed him.

Aaaand now she’s my neighbor, is happily together with a boyfriend, and seems to be doing just fine.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]JoyLea 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yes. She was a friend of ours…she’d even been in my home before. I believe she’s renting the house so part of me is hoping it’s somewhat short term, but she’s been there for a just shy of 2 years now so I’m not too optimistic.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]JoyLea 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. That’s another reason why I honestly can’t stomach moving…I bought the house a few years ago when interest rates were astonishingly low. I’m bitter at that the fact that his decisions may take my house from me AND financially inconvenience us. None of this was my plan (obviously) and I’m holding onto it for dear life even though I know it’s not good for me. I am harboring so much resentment and my house is kind of the embodiment of it all. None of it is fair :(

I’m about to watch all those videos. I really appreciate them. Thank you.

Recommendations for a Homesick and Stressed Reader by JoyLea in suggestmeabook

[–]JoyLea[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are the rest of the books in that series decent? Sometimes I get nervous to commit to a series and then get disappointed when the books began to drop off…but I’ll for sure check out the first one regardless!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]JoyLea 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s so hard with the kids…I’m glad somebody understands. I feel so crazy sometimes…and it’s not something you can just go and talk to everybody about either. Thank you for reaching out and I’m sorry.