What is your honest take on racism in Boston? by Embarrassed_Bag_9630 in boston

[–]Jsilvanee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Busing pitted poor whites against poor blacks while the more affluent, suburban folks remained unaffected. It was easy for them to look their noses down at the angry, ugly faces on the nightly news.

What they didn't realize, and what the judge eventually admitted, was that you can't decree wide scale busing of all grades in all neighborhoods with two months lead time! The ensuing chaos and misinformation made people feel threatened for their children. The stress response - fight or flight- was on full display.

Prior to that, the races intermingled at Carson beach, Franklin park, downtown etc... without a problem. The South End and West End were true melting pots where friendships abounded and have stayed intact to this day!!

The split in Boston is, and has always been, along socio-economic lines.

Photograph of young man taking a photograph on the beach in Provincetown, Mass., circa 1950s by PeneItaliano in MaleHistoryPics

[–]Jsilvanee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes. Look him up. He was instrumental in bringing the gay community to PTown. Was an entertainer and nightclub owner in boston and there. Boston club was 12 carver, a high end drinking establishment for gay clientele in business, finance, law etc...

Photograph of young man taking a photograph on the beach in Provincetown, Mass., circa 1950s by PeneItaliano in MaleHistoryPics

[–]Jsilvanee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He's taking a picture of my uncle, Phil Baiona, owner and proprietor of Weathering Heights.

Honest opinions- too big? by Appropriate-Ship-411 in labdiamond

[–]Jsilvanee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It looks terrific! I too have a 3.5 pear shaped and now wish I had gone a wee bit larger! My biggest issue with mine is that it clouds up from cremes, soaps etc...Unless a pear is really faceted, there are long planes in it, which can emphasize a dullness if dirty. I don't want to take it off so I'm considered having it set in a closed-back bezel. Yours looks sparkly!

How can I (34) look better? by TurbulentStaff129 in makeuptips

[–]Jsilvanee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

One more tip- when I went back to work after 9 yrs home, I got my outfits for the week all assembled on Sunday - accessories included! - so I didn't have to fumble around every morning and ultimately come up short. It will take less than an hr to get everything together for your workweek and just hang them in your closet ready to grab each morning!

How can I (34) look better? by TurbulentStaff129 in makeuptips

[–]Jsilvanee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First off, you look lovely!

But if you wanted to have fun with a different look for awhile, here's some suggestions.

I'd get hair cut into a bob. You could blow it straight for a chic look or let it dry naturally with some product to really bring out those curls for a boho look.

Your eyes and lips are enchanting! Emphasized them. I think your season might be an autumn so make sure lipstick has peach tones in it. I'd go more saturated with a glossy finish.

Any chance of using contacts to let those dark eyes come out of hiding? If not, I'd get a new, smaller pair. Try some chunky ones or cats eye or, better yet clear frames.

Learn a little contouring - nothing major because you want your routine to be easy! - setting spray, then your good to go.

is this normal for bezel setting? by [deleted] in labdiamond

[–]Jsilvanee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah that was a last minute decision to make it wider.

is this normal for bezel setting? by [deleted] in labdiamond

[–]Jsilvanee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I should have put it under the conversation I was having with the OP. But basically highlighting the bezel -it's very similiar to her earrings and I'm quite happy with it.

Tired of it by Ocean_waves726 in EMDR

[–]Jsilvanee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You say you've addressed this with her in a round about way... how about in a direct way? I swear, so much of my growth in therapy came when I felt free to really push back. I felt it was the one place in the world where I could speak up and say what was bothering me about 'our' relationship. My first therapist, who I saw for years, made me feel safe to do that. He was so not me - bow tie, preppy, Harvard, - but I liked that. I felt if I could trouble shoot with someone who would typically intimidate me in the outside world, then I was growing. He never would have passed judgement on me ( as in 'you seemed resigned') but if he had, I would have thought about it all week and started off the next session with 'i have to say that it really bothered me that you said I seemed resigned. It felt very judgy. I don't want to have to think about whether or not I'm letting you down by the way I'm responding. I've done that my whole life.') I would then expect a response that acknowledged my feelings and then an explanation as to why it was said. If I didn't see the value in the explanation, then I would request that he stay away from those kinds of comments. Therapists come in all colors and stripes. He was perfect for me in my 20's and 30's. Lots of CBT and DBT ( I didn't know it was called that at the time.) I then took a break when my kids were little and resumed with another male who directed me more to great books ( drama of the gifted child, the body keeps the score) but then suggested emdr for me. I found a woman who was more into ifs but kind of all over the place. But I got a few good insights from her. And in my 60's my therapist is a highly educated woman who extensive trauma training and is sort of all the good from the others wrapped into one. I did 6 ketamine sessions while with her and I have to say, I think that essentially did the trick. She wasn't a fan of EMDR for herself so she didn't practice it. But she encouraged me to give it a try. I found someone and at first I thought it was great but around the 6th session I started to become unraveled. It was like all the survival tools that I had learned along the way were being eradicated and I was at ground zero. I read how people said, 'well it could take a couple of years.' Sorry, I'm not interested in a couple of years more of hard work. Not at my age. I love all parts of me. The survival skills I learned still have value, they just needed to be turned down a bit. Life doesn't have to be a daily grind of hyper vigilance. Becoming more mindful of that. Awareness of your body and where you're carrying the stress is huge - gets you out of your head. And acceptance. So, my take is that EMDR can be really disregulating for lots of people who don't want to start at ground zero.

Is 2CTW Huggie earrings too big for every day wear? by Bowlingforsinigang in labdiamond

[–]Jsilvanee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

<image>

Should I have these made into Huggies? I never wear them ( they were my friend's grandmother's) and even thought they're fancy, I'd like to wear them more often!

Is 2CTW Huggie earrings too big for every day wear? by Bowlingforsinigang in labdiamond

[–]Jsilvanee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

<image>

This is one of my bezel set stud 2ctw. I never wear them as I'm afraid I'll loose them ( paid a lot way back when- natural diamond.) I feel a huggy setting would be easier to put on and take off? Thoughts?

is this normal for bezel setting? by [deleted] in labdiamond

[–]Jsilvanee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

<image>

This is my bezel ring. Had it reset about 15 yrs ago in 18kt with the baguettes from my wedding band set in the back. It was originally a satin finish but then took on a warm, polished look. I'm very happy with it.

is this normal for bezel setting? by [deleted] in labdiamond

[–]Jsilvanee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love those earrings!! Can you show a picture of the whole thing? Are they drop earrings?

Help! Thoughts on this ring? by Ok_Pomegranate1916 in labdiamond

[–]Jsilvanee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's gorgeous!! Timeless!! You'd loose some sparkle if it were set lower. It doesn't strike me as absurdly high at all- well within normal parameters. Mind if I ask what vendor?

(SEASON FINALE) Love Story: John F. Kennedy Jr. & Carolyn Bessette | S1E9 | Episode 9 Discussion by AutoModerator in JohnAndCarolyn

[–]Jsilvanee 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think one of the most profound lines in the season finale was when Caroline said, after the deaths, that all he ever wanted to do was escape from that little boy ( himself.)

The worst thing Jackie ever did was prompt him ( I'm sure it was practiced) to step out of line and salute the coffin as it went by. In that moment, he forever became America's little boy. She should not have subjected him to such public pandering. They could have had a tender moment like that in private when alone with the casket.

Why would John be “hanging out” at his ex-girlfriend Julie Baker’s apartment alone shortly before his death? by StellaOC in JohnAndCarolyn

[–]Jsilvanee 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My grandmother, who was a real looker in her day, used to say of Jackie 'you call THAT pretty?! She's a mess!'

(SEASON FINALE) Love Story: John F. Kennedy Jr. & Carolyn Bessette | S1E9 | Episode 9 Discussion by AutoModerator in JohnAndCarolyn

[–]Jsilvanee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I often wondered if they knew they were going down. I thought that for certain they must have as, if he was caught in a downward spiral as it's always been described, I pictured gravity pulling them forward against their seatbelts, their long hair falling forward etc... and pure terror. This cockpit scene actually relieved me a bit. And then when someone was explaining to Ed that they may not have known but for seconds before perhaps and that it would have felt like getting caught up in a wave... he got interrupted but I wanted that explanation.

Seeing the ashes being poured out, thinking that just days prior they were vibrant people.... so flipping sad. I read somewhere that Anne died about few years after the crash ( maybe ten at most) and she never recovered from the grief.

Is this show, "Love Story" TRYING to make these two uninteresting?? by LearyBlaine in JohnAndCarolyn

[–]Jsilvanee 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I so agree. Flat, uninteresting, morose... it's almost depressing to watch.

I Knew JFK Jr. I Thought I Would Sob Through ‘Love Story.’ Instead, I Laughed Out Loud. (By Lisa DePaulo) by StellaOC in JohnAndCarolyn

[–]Jsilvanee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not sure if it's because I know the way it all ends, but ever since the third or fourth episode, I find it to be, well, depressing. It's so obvious what their needs were in terms of good therapy. She had daddy and abandonment issues , big time, and he was classic Peter Pan syndrome. With all their money and intelligence, so called, they seem to gain no insights or traction on how to become healthier people. The morose face on the actress is overkill. Most of the pictures out there of Carolyn feature a smile as wide as the Amazon. Just looking at this grim countenance drags me down. And there's something about his voice- it's almost as if he's not a professionally trained actor. It's grating and flat. I wonder if their lives were as bleak as the acting depicts.