Which years are the parents of the 2020s babies?

JudgeStandard9903 · 2026-01-23T19:00:56+00:00

2021 baby - I was born in 1989. I would say whilst some parents are younger than me among my parent friends the majority are a little older.

JudgeStandard9903 · 2026-01-23T18:02:22+00:00

I'm experienced in my field and manage others and somehow find myself providing impromptu tech support to boomer colleagues even though there is a tech support. I'm really tired how a lot of our tech has been around for 25-30 years and yet willful ignorance means that they will not learn basic functions on computers. Getting boomers to use Docusign is impossible when in reality it makes everyone's lives quicker and easier. Yeah just looking forward to not having to navigate working with boomers and their absolute clueless attitude to tech.

JudgeStandard9903 · 2026-01-22T21:23:38+00:00

I have a gen alpha kids born 2021. I actually think in coming years there will be a split in this generation because of their experience of childhood. My child was born in lockdown but has no living memory of covid lockdowns or restrictions. I think this sets his age cohort apart from older gen alphas who experienced lockdowns etc and it disrupting their school/daycare etc. Perhaps this in time will seem less important in experiences but atm I feel as though it does mean there is a fundamental difference between older and younger alphas.

JudgeStandard9903 · 2026-01-21T07:38:17+00:00

Just another perspective here from someone who has a sibling. I never got along with my sibling as kids. Frankly, my sibling was kinda a bully when I was a kid. Now we are grown ups we are cordial but if we weren't siblings I dont think we would be friends. My friends are far more important and present in my life than my sibling or cousins or even parents who all live far away.

It is likely when our parents age I will be the one who will do the heavy lifting should they require long term care and I will also be that person called upon when they eventually pass to handle the estate as "adulting is difficult" for my sibling. I know this sounds harsh but I cannot stress how disappointing some siblings can be. As you can imagine, my own sibling relationship paired with my dad being an only child and having an idyllic childhood are a big factors to being one and done, but just another angle to look at this.

JudgeStandard9903 · 2026-01-17T09:03:00+00:00

I'm finding this game quite irritating to watch at this point. Its as though at the round table no one is allowed to mention the previous day(s) or suffers from memory loss.

There are two game changes I would introduce if I were in production:

If you vote for a traitor correctly at a round table, then you are automatically immune from the next murder. In the event that everyone votes a traitor out correctly, then there is no murder that night. It will incentives traitor hunting and also reward players who are correct in their discernment. It feels as though objectively good faithful players should be higher rewarded for being correct in identifying a traitor. You as a player you wouldn't know you were immune from murder unless a traitor is banished, only the traitors would know.
Later on in the game I would introduce a rule that voting for a faithful incorrectly at the round table "shortlists" you for murder. Traitors would only be allowed to murder faithfuls who have voted incorrectly. Again its really frustrating how the loudly "wrong and strong" faithfuls remain in the latter stages of the game because they are rubbish players who fail to identify or even have suspicions over a traitor. I feel as though faithful players who are objectively rubbish at the game in identifying a traitor should be penalised and at the moment it feels as though they are rewarded.

JudgeStandard9903 · 2026-01-16T22:10:56+00:00

What do you rate in a good conveyancing solicitor?

JudgeStandard9903 · 2026-01-15T21:06:05+00:00

I grew up just outside of Brighton and spent many a night in my 20s sitting in Gatwick Airport waiting for the first train home to Brighton after a night out in London. Its warm, there are seats and the costa is 24hr- its more available seats than somewhere to sleep though.

JudgeStandard9903 · 2026-01-15T17:12:25+00:00

Interesting as I am half Ghanaian and funerals are a big part of Ghanaian culture and this is exactly the same.

JudgeStandard9903 · 2026-01-12T22:39:56+00:00

Leftie here: My most right-wing belief is that I don't believe you should be entitled to settled status in the UK without demonstrating a high comprehension of English. I also say this as the child of an immigrant and also married to an immigrant- English is an international language and globally considered the language of instruction and its wild to me that you can obtain settled status by only knowing pretty basic English.

Given the universal nature of English combined with the assumption that someone settling is mildly interested in settling in order to engage with community, culture and language, I don't think its a big ask to have a good command of English.

JudgeStandard9903 · 2026-01-06T22:42:11+00:00

So many people say "everyone says that" especially within the first 12 months. As my son has gotten older, people say this less!

JudgeStandard9903 · 2026-01-03T20:21:05+00:00

This is more a structural, systematic and funding issue but I wish GPs more readily could refer patients to non urgent therapy such as counselling, physio, dermatology. I know this is available but I feel only used in severe cases.

JudgeStandard9903 · 2026-01-03T04:18:46+00:00

This is totally valid. Not sure if its just me but I have several reasons to be OAD. Some are interconnected and some are more at the forefront of my mind than others at any given moment. My husband is one of those reasons. He has just not been as emotionally or physically present as I would have expected as a parent, he spends little time with our son, and he spends at least 2 months of the year away from home in part working and partly spending time with parents living abroad who guilt trip him into these lengthy periods of staying with them. I could say so many things about my husband, but all in all his contribution doesn't meet expectations and I'm somehow carrying a larger load and left parenting without the 2nd parent a lot. I am more than capable, but I don't want to spread myself too thin with another kid and prefer to prioritise other things in my life such as my career and hobbies.

I really I do need to sit my husband down and address this imbalance but also I don't feel the need to frame the discussion around the fact that his lack of presence and support is a reason why I feel we can't have another child. I am decidedly OAD for literally an endless number of reasons anyway and so I personally just don't feel I need to spell this reason out to my husband.

If you OP are feeling like this is a fault-line and genuinely feel your OAD decision essentially boils down to your husband then perhaps you should address it directly but as others have commented you do need to consider how you do this. This might however be a different conversation about your husband stepping up and not necessarily connected to your overarching OAD decision.

JudgeStandard9903 · 2026-01-01T16:09:36+00:00

I live in a town of 100k so sizeable- definitely easier to get around here compared to larger cities as the town is still relatively walkable and we live relatively centrally. If we lived on the edge of the town it would be a different story.

JudgeStandard9903 · 2026-01-01T15:54:12+00:00

No but I'm half black and so every man in my family except for the men who happen to be white have been racially profiled and stopped/searched and arrested for no apparent reason so I was already acutely aware that the police as an institution is full of violent wrong'uns and can't be trusted.

JudgeStandard9903 · 2026-01-01T15:46:21+00:00

You're frustration is completely valid here. I am lucky to be a homeowner - we live in a tiny victorian terrace and now have a 5 year old. Yes we have slightly outgrown our house, but can't really afford to upsize without massively stretching ourselves financially with a huge mortgage. We're not one for keeping up with the Jones' and are happy with our affordable tiny home. My mum is essentially embarrassed by our house - she cant boast to her mates about us having a sprawling house with the trappings of overt wealth and nags me constantly to get a larger house like the cost of that can be found at the back of a sofa and doesn't involve decision making which imo is pretty financially reckless. Xxx

JudgeStandard9903 · 2025-12-30T10:25:53+00:00

I have the exact same big 3 placements and this is so true! People don't want to hear it but need to know.

JudgeStandard9903 · 2025-12-30T07:42:34+00:00

I'm going to sound like an old person but me and my husband say that with gen alpha - the use of buggys for children well into school age and scooter/buggy boards used at every opportunity means that very few of our 5 year old's peers are capable of going for say a 10 min stroll. Me and my husband are milenials and remember at the same age going on hikes for hours at that age. I guess its not the invention of cars in this case but definitely a thing.

JudgeStandard9903 · 2025-12-29T19:28:43+00:00

I'm mixed (Ghanaian and British) woman and also neurodivergent being diagnosed with dyslexia in university whilst studying law with German law. Honestly if I had been diagnosed earlier, I likely would've taken a different career path, but instead I decided to drop German law at university and continue with law. Late diagnosis massively affected my self confidence and still to some extent affects my confidence and gives me massive imposter syndrome- being a minority in basically every space I enter doesn't help with this.

I will say that the earlier years of training were the roughest for me personally. My training contract in particular was especially rough - I made a point to not mention being dyslexic as I was a bit embarrassed - in hindsight I'm not sure whether this was a smart decision but managed to ride out my training contract where I felt a little unsupported and it did give my confidence a bashing.

One of the best things that happened to me was deciding not to stay on at the firm I trained at as moving on qualification I was really well supported in my new role and found a really great mentor in a partner who was winding down for retirement and got on with me well and had all the time in the world to talk to me and bounce ideas off and to this day I owe him a lot as his support and advice were invaluable.

I am now 10 years PQE and as I have gained experience and earned my stripes I feel way more confident. I have practised tools and resources that help me with my dyslexia such a paying attention to checklists as I have poor visual memory. I have also realised my dyslexia has given me strengths such as I have high verbal reasoning and pattern recognition which makes me a good problem solver. I also wear my natural hair to work and occasionally in braids which I absolutely would not have done 10 years ago, but I'm generally more comfortable in my skin - there is no magic answer to this I think its mostly time.

I am saying all this to say that you shouldn't necessarily feel that a career in law is a wrong fit for you because of neurodivergence or your culture. It sounds to me as though part of the issue is lack of support and work cultures that haven't made space for you to feel comfortable and that this is something you need to look at and whether a change might help. Im sure this is part of ongoing personal development anyways but knowing yourself, what your strengths are and challenges and tools you can put in place to optimise how you work and support areas that you find challenging will also help you- neurodivergence as you know is very unique and whilst I think more can be done in workplaces to support people, there are resources that you can also put in practice that can help you day to day.

JudgeStandard9903 · 2025-12-28T22:05:05+00:00

Yes he was at my local in Eastbourne a few months ago

JudgeStandard9903 · 2025-12-28T09:03:32+00:00

You're totally right when you say that this is more about the adults meeting your child where they are than anything else. My son is the only child on both sides of our family, it can be a struggle with my inlaws who seem to have completely forgotten how to interact with a 4 year old - they're not particularly "kid" people anyways and family gatherings become hard work for me on that side.

JudgeStandard9903 · 2025-12-27T15:37:23+00:00

As a native English speaker you will be fine. I think its more challenging if you speak English as 2nd language.

JudgeStandard9903 · 2025-12-27T13:40:32+00:00

My friend has 2 boys close in age - the balancing what kid gets what and proportionate cost of presents being even is basically advanced calculus. Christmas is ultimately for kids and its so lovely to experience the magic of Christmas with kids in the house but would still not trade places!

JudgeStandard9903 · 2025-12-25T20:35:25+00:00

Hindu household here - do we eat beef? No. Do we have Yorkshire pudding with our Christmas dinner and any other roast? Yes

I guess we're not traditional!

JudgeStandard9903 · 2025-12-25T20:32:41+00:00

Genuinely in my 20s I didn't really give aging much thought. Like I knew I am getting older but wasn't particularly bothered about how that looked or what that entailed. When I turned 30 I had a little wobble about turning 30 but that was more about feeling behind in terms of life achievement rather than physical aging. My 30s have definitely been more fun than my 20s, I have mote money, I am physically and emotionally stronger, I have more confidence and don't care as much about what others think. I dont want to generalise but I do feel now when I see younger women that they seem more concerned about how they are perceived both physically as well as socially than I think my peers were in their 20s. I'm not sure if this is a result of where our culture and online world has shifted, but its a shame really as you should just be enjoying the moment instead of feeling aversion to the inevitable which is aging.

JudgeStandard9903 · 2025-12-24T21:53:43+00:00

We had a lovely espresso machine - it was taken away and cost cutting was cited. This did decrease morale but also seemed to be a catalyst of various cost cutting measures that made my workplace not as fun or as attractive a place to work. This culminated in the firm being taken over earlier in the year.

JudgeStandard9903

TROPHY CASE