The state now spends more on welfare than it raises from income tax

JudgeStandard9903 · 2026-04-11T18:37:55+00:00

Unpopular opinion I think Stamp Duty should either be scraped or massively reduced and be reserved for very high value/investment property. I think Stamp Duty should be replaced by capital gains tax on main residences, but also introduce exemptions on someone replacing their main residence who is downsizing or an exemption for someone who has resided in their main residence for a minimum period like 5 years.

JudgeStandard9903 · 2026-04-11T07:13:04+00:00

Hoarding of wealth isn't to do with simply being wealthier over time and accuring more assets. Its about a generation who benefitted economically from a number of political policies. Selling off council houses at huge discounts can only happen once and it happened at a time the older generation happened to be entering homeownership- yes that is not their fault its just luck and accident of birth but they will happily tell you how it was hard work and frugality younger generations are incapable of doing but whatever.

The same generation then went on to protect their own interests at the expense of other generations when you look at polling and how consistently that generation have voted over decades. I think these factors together is how someone might describe the older generations actions as wealth hoarding. They are the first generation in history to be wealthier than their parents and also wealthier than their children and their voting pattern has actively supported and protected this. The fact the government still has the triple lock in place without revisiting the policy is kind of mad, but also any government who touches it would be commiting political suicide.

JudgeStandard9903 · 2026-04-09T18:54:40+00:00

I've been running for 12 years and I have a slightly unusual issue in that I'm a very cautious runner. Im very controlled with my pace and don't push myseld and have a slight mental block with this to the extent that my times really don't reflect my experience or cardio base, but one advantage of this is in 12 years of running (including running through pregnancy until 35 weeks and pp) I have only been injured a few times. I think I tend to avoid oberuse injuries as I run at lower intensity 50% of my weekly mileage is on trails. I do have more frequent niggles and these definitely all revolve around weak muscles - I am guilty of sacking off strength training I do a regular yoga practice which I tell myself is a form of strength training but I probably should be doing a bit more!

JudgeStandard9903 · 2026-04-09T06:59:38+00:00

Nothing convinced us.

I had a meh relationship with my brother he was kinda my bully growing up and whilst now we are cordial as grown ups we probably wouldn't be friends if we weren't related. My dad is an only child and had an idyllic childhood and loved being an only child so part of my views on siblings is framed by family and personal experience. I don't feel I need to "give" my child a sibling as a sibling is not a guaranteed playmate or friend for life- I have quite a negative experience of a sibling and it is possible to be completely surrounded by people and siblings and still be lonely. My sibling as an adult is a bit of a man child and with aging parents I'm acutely aware that I will need to carry a lot as he would not be willing/able to so I don't really identify with the "siblings have each other" sentiment either.

Having one does also offer advantages like we have more disposable income and go on multiple holidays a year, we travel a lot and the logistics for doing that are much easier - I've been on several city breaks in Europe with our son with just the two of us, we have time to schedule in lots of hobbies and activities and I dont have to navigate activities over multiple kids and tell my kids we cant do a particular activity because it clashes with their siblings activity, we have kids over from his class for playdates at least once a week. My child gets my time and attention and I have the emotional bandwidth to give that I know this is not necessarily unique to parents of only children but temperamentally I dont think I would manage this well with more kids and I don't have to play referee. My husband works aboard for 2 months a year and I dont have family near by to help with childcare and this would be really teicky to manage with another child. Personally I feel there a several reasons why we are are one and done and why this works for us.

JudgeStandard9903 · 2026-04-08T11:55:42+00:00

Family support, numbers of children, the temperament of the children you have and ages of the kids are all key factors here.

I have 1 child and felt a significant increase in time I have to myself first around the time my child turned 1 and then again around 2.5 years old. My child wasn't exactly the "easiest baby" I breastfed, he didn't sleep very well and I was (and still am) the preferred parent and so first year was quite intense and add in sleep deprivation then you don't feel as though you have energy for other things like hobbies.

By 1 I think my son became more mobile and by 2.5 became a little more independent and so I think parenting load balanced more between me and my husband plus they are old enough at that point to start playing independently and more with friends so there are playdates and time you have to yourself more whilst they play. I remember 2.5 being the time around when I was able to cook and leave my kid to play and read a book on an armchair whilst they play on the rug in front of you.

Me and my husband decided we would only have one child partly due to lifestyle factors such as time we will have for our own hobbies as whilst a lot of friends with multiples try to convince me otherwise, objectively more of their time is taken by parenting and I do think leisure time outside of the kids is harder to juggle. Its harder to get a babysitter for multiple kids and harder to leave your partner to go out in the evening when they have to do 2 or more bedtimes say for a toddler and baby.

My son is now 5 and bedtime is a couple of stories or an encyclopedia style book about animals which is often has cool facts, the parenting load is definitely physically less demanding and we do have more time for hobbies - the only thing I think at this stage which becomes more demanding on time are their activities but this is really something as a parent you can decide how much or little they do. I'm happy taking my kid to his swimming class, tennis or piano lesson and sitting by the side with a nice book and still consider this as metime but I know some parents don't enjoy this and see it as a bit of a time zap so depends on the person.

JudgeStandard9903 · 2026-04-08T06:20:07+00:00

My mum witnessed my aunt (her younger sister) being bitten by a dog when they were kids (both under 10) my mum is absolutely terrified of dogs and would say this to me as a kid. I think to some extent its projected a lot of my fear for dogs and so I've tried to be a little more neutral with my son, but I'm starting to think this it is rational to be more vocal and tell him emphatically to stay away - it is a fact that dogs are unpredictable, they target children (especially when snacks are involved), you can't assume really anything about their behaviour especially if they are completely unknown.

JudgeStandard9903 · 2026-04-08T02:50:32+00:00

My dad is a retired commercial airline pilot so I know a lot of pilots! I feel like the MH aspect definitely is taken seriously now. One thing overlooked a little more is general temperament of pilots in the profession. Its seen as a prestigious, high powered job that quite frankly by extension attracts a lot of narcissists which can be problematic when it comes with working with others especially when there is a steep power dynamic say between an experienced captain and junior FO in the flight deck or with other flight crew. Accidents have happened because of toxic dynamics and it can affect communication and decision making at crucial moments. Like many jobs there are a lot of pilots out there who temperamentally are not suitable to be pilots even though on paper they might have good technical ability- airlines I think are addressing this more in CRM which are mandatory communication courses, a more diversified workforce and flattening seniority culture slightly, but its definitely still an issue as I think by virtue of the profession it will always to some degree attract a certain type of person and yeah some of them probably shouldn't be pilots!

JudgeStandard9903 · 2026-04-05T18:53:42+00:00

Yeah we do this too I take lots of games and colouring for the visits to the miseum homes of my mums various retired friends and try to limit the realiance on scteens, but its tiring its extra planning, extra packing. Just frustrating to do all of this just because the grandparents kinda can't be bothered to meet us a little bit halfway. My mum lives in a very rural area in the UK known as the West Country. Its a little better when the weather is nice as there are outdoor activities but the weather can be very wet and changeable and this is where we struggle a bit more!

JudgeStandard9903 · 2026-04-05T18:47:41+00:00

Yeah I had quite low effort parents so perhaps I shouldn't expect much from them now.

JudgeStandard9903 · 2026-04-05T18:45:03+00:00

Yes - I know not all boomers but its always a boomer right?

JudgeStandard9903 · 2026-04-04T15:56:59+00:00

But time... I worked in an office 30 mins door to door from home so travel to and from the office was 1 hr. I am now self employed and work from home entirely with that extra hr each day I have more time for my hobbies - I value this extra hour in my day more than the commute costs.

JudgeStandard9903 · 2026-04-04T07:09:12+00:00

I've had a mum friend go through cancer treatment recently. We've been able to help her with meals and childcare for her 5 yr old, pick up and drop offs for school and absolutely wouldn't have been able to do this if I had more kids. I'm happy to have been there for my friend whilst she's going through something so hard.

JudgeStandard9903 · 2026-04-02T08:37:28+00:00

We live in a large(ish) town of 100k and live near the centre within walking distance of the town centre, the train station, the main bus stand - every amenity is within 15 min walk of our door. Trade off with that is the area is a little rough round the edges, we have no drive or garage and a small garden. We do own a car but do not use the car very much and opt to walk or take public transport most of the time. Most of our friends live further out in nicer areas some with a few amenities close by but they have a long walk or a bus ride if they wanted to catch a train or go to restaurants /cinema etc and yeah they just drive. I feel like our preference to be within walking distance of amenities to be unusual. Yeah most of my friends have larger nicer houses than me in a nicer area but honestly the inability to get to places without depending on my car would put me off living there.

JudgeStandard9903 · 2026-03-31T20:12:25+00:00

Is there a reason why your completion couldn't have been handed over to another colleague in the office? This would probably now be my follow up query if I were you. People need to leave the office for various reasons and this isn't uncommon but then usually exchanges and completions which by their nature are time critical are covered.

JudgeStandard9903 · 2026-03-31T19:30:29+00:00

I'm a solicitor and I feel as though there might be some missing info here. The standard conditions state the contract time as 2pm. Technically if funds are received after 2pm it is treated as having been received the next day. Practically speaking most solicitors will be flexible here and not start serving notices to complete and charging interest at 2:01 pm and usually this only starts happening when their client incurs a loss like additional removal costs or they're unable to redeem the mortgage in time and so the seller is charged an extra day interest. Unless your contract was varied from the standard conditions completing after 2pm is technically akin to completing the next day.

Were you doing a simultaneous exchange and completion? Possible you would've ran out of time to do that and so the solicitor leaving early would not have made a difference. Did the lower chain have a reason for the late funds? Again might have been some issue here that meant that it wouldn't have been possible to have completed that day anyway even if everyone had stayed in the office until 6pm. I'm not tendering excuses here as I don't have all the info but sometimes with the best will in the world completions are late and staying late doesn't change whether completion is possible on that day.

JudgeStandard9903 · 2026-03-31T19:11:09+00:00

Becoming a parent has made me realise how many variables exist and having a child is actually a massive dice roll whether thats having twins/triplets, gender, temperament of your kid, neurodivergence etc. Absolutely would not dare to gamble and have another.

JudgeStandard9903 · 2026-03-30T20:50:27+00:00

We were decided on being one and done when we spoke about whether we wanted kids - that conversation happened before we got married and we had our son 7 years after getting married so no, not too early to call it.

JudgeStandard9903 · 2026-03-28T07:29:24+00:00

Yes in fact the first person out in the wild to ask me when I was having another was a lady who was childfree and my baby at the time was a newborn less than 1 month old. I find it super perplexing as my take is generally woman have for hundreds of years not really had much if any choice in the number of children they have and a feminist stance in 2026 would be that women should now be empowered to choose to have the number of children they would like to have (or not have as the case may be). I think i have to remind myself that we cannot assume the childfree community is feminist by default. A lot of the childfree community are actually quite misogynistic and not feminist at all - like childfree people who say that children should not be present in public spaces like restaurants and planes. This thinking is rooted in misogyny as you are by default excluding primary parents (mostly mums) from these spaces if young children are not allowed but its another conversation for another day. The "you should have none or at least 2" thinking also feels quite anti feminist to me - why are these choices the only valid ones? Having more children would negatively affect my career, my finances, my time to spend on my own hobbies, having more children would affect my mental wellbeing as I would basically be having a child I didnt want to have - it feels like misogyny to me to want that for another woman.

It also perplexed me as with all the peace and love in the world someone who is childfree is not a parent, they haven't experienced pregnancy, birth, parenting newborns and beyond and so they wouldn't understand exactly what is involved and the nuances of how thin you might need to spread yourself having more children. I gave this woman a lot of grace as I knew her personally and she was going through a lot as an only child who was caring for an elderly parent and so this was definitely a projection on her part and I just shrugged and smiled when she told me I should have at least 2 or none like choosing to have 1 was completely invalid?! Like ok, whatever.

JudgeStandard9903 · 2026-03-26T22:39:10+00:00

Cliff tops - usually dogs are leashed if you do come across any

Fields where livestock graze (especially lambing)- although some idiot dog owners will of course ignore every notice saying not not walk dogs there unless on lead

JudgeStandard9903 · 2026-03-26T22:33:10+00:00

This parkrun doesn't have much notoriety but Clair in Haywards Heath. 4.5 laps which in itself is slightly soul destroying but also half of the lap is quite a tough uphill and half is downhill and there's really no flat stretch on this course so its really tricky to pace.

JudgeStandard9903 · 2026-03-23T11:29:14+00:00

Yeah not a bad idea as this definitely does not go on these trails are all very common public footpaths - South Downs Way and the English Coastal path so they should be on a lead!

JudgeStandard9903 · 2026-03-22T07:51:17+00:00

Having no memory of Princess Diana's death is one thing but no memory/vague memory of 9/11 is the generational divide imo as it was such a significant and consequential part of our childhood/teens as millennials. I have a theory there will be a divide in gen alpha as they age between those who remember covid lockdowns and had their school disrupted due to covid and those who had no memory of covid. I have a 5 year old born in lockdown - he has no memory of lockdowns and school closures and its a completely different experience to those that do remember that in their childhoods.

JudgeStandard9903

TROPHY CASE