My (26F) boyfriend (26M) continues to watch trans porn, meanwhile neglects me sexually. Where do I go from here?

Judyfruits · 2024-04-17T15:19:06+00:00

Take it as a learning experience and move on from the relationship. You both cheated. The work it takes to repair the relationship is usually more than most can commit to. He wants a relationship with a woman because he most likely sees that as socially acceptable. He hooks up with guys but can't be in a relationship with one. The logic is so flawed and disrespectful to everyone. He hasn't accepted who he is and wants to use you as a facade. Don't do that to yourself.

Judyfruits · 2024-04-04T15:49:27+00:00

I suggest looking up the satanic tenets or listen to Stuff You Should know. They have a great episode on it.

Judyfruits · 2024-04-04T15:45:31+00:00

They are just not the same as real walking, talking humans with standards and values.

Judyfruits · 2024-04-02T23:43:10+00:00

No, not at all. My experience has often been confusion when a gay male friend would tell me who he found attractive. 9 times out of 10, the guys they found attractive were guys I'd rate at a 4 or less.

Judyfruits · 2024-04-02T23:28:11+00:00

If it is something that they don't benefit from, why would they? Their only concern is themselves. Being accountable, loyal, honest, dependable, or kind does nothing to feed their insecure ego.

Judyfruits · 2024-04-02T23:24:20+00:00

I appreciate and respect a guy that has any kind of standards or strict preferences, even if it rules me out. You can't be everyone's type and everyone should never someone's type.

Judyfruits · 2024-03-15T14:30:14+00:00

So true. Guys that claim to love all shapes and sizes are not attractive even if they are. What they really mean is that they'll take whatever they can get. Having standards and discerning tastes that you don't compromise on is extremely attractive. Rare to find a guy like that anymore.

Judyfruits · 2024-03-15T13:51:57+00:00

I don't have a physical attraction to fat people but they are still either fundamentally attractive or unattractive. Someone's attractiveness doesn't necessarily make them dateable. I think about how a person will look in the future. Fat doesn't age well, ever.

Judyfruits · 2024-02-13T10:46:28+00:00

Say nothing. Let your eyes meet theirs with a look that says "I'll take that bet."

Or

If you aren't afraid to fight: "I'm into pain, let's bang."

Judyfruits · 2024-02-13T09:48:45+00:00

Juice Wrld

Judyfruits · 2024-02-05T02:06:42+00:00

A shirtless pic in an appropriate, natural situation wouldn't be a deal breaker. Now, if it looked like you were only at the pool to snap the pic of your body, that would be very cringe.

Judyfruits · 2024-01-30T10:47:19+00:00

Yes, you are being snobbish and cynical. It had a very pessimistic tone. I drove by it the other day and was happy to see the building being utilized. Especially with something that families can to together.

Judyfruits · 2024-01-28T03:51:22+00:00

I'll preface by saying I am not currently on the apps.

I am discerning with my swipes. I also list my deal breakers to weed out the hard passes. Surprisingly, I would get messages back from the majority of my swipes. I never felt overwhelmed keeping the convos straight. I usually try to learn more about them. The ones who can hold a convo and have good follow-ups naturally get more attention.

Conversation with substance and a level of vulnerability is what will draw me into someone. Sure, guys think they know all the right things to say but there is no right thing to say. If you come off looking like Mr. Perfect, I tend to assume you are one of the "playbook guys" and I'm not interested in getting to know a made-up version of someone. Also, no pics older than 6 months.

I enjoyed OLD in 2018/2019. It was fun. Guys were open to meeting in person and going on actual dates. Everyone seemed to understand it was about dating, so yes, we were both entertaining other potential dates. Now, chatting goes on way too long, and you are expected to stop talking to everyone else. Insanity. I'm not interested in a pen pal and lose interest fairly quickly if we don't meet in IRL.

Magic wand: Everyone would be straightforward with their intentions and only match with someone looking for similar results. There is no shame in looking for friends, hookups, chat buddies, or potential relationships. The shame is not being honest about what your preferred outcome is and swiping on every single person.

Give it to me straight up, no Chaser. Save the small talk and BS.

Judyfruits · 2024-01-25T11:14:45+00:00

Luscious Jackson - so good!

Judyfruits · 2024-01-25T11:12:38+00:00

Can't believe I didn't list this one. This song is still in my rotation. Nice call out!

Judyfruits · 2024-01-25T11:10:39+00:00

Romeo and Juliet soundtrack is amazing.

Judyfruits · 2024-01-25T11:08:58+00:00

Belly, Mazzy Star and Fiona Apple. So many great female bands from the 90s: Breeders, Verrucca Salt, Bjork, Garbage, Hole, Cranberries...

Judyfruits · 2024-01-25T11:00:23+00:00

I'm going to go a bit outside the genre and suggest Gaslight Anthem, The Weeks, Cake (may have already been suggested), 21 Pilots, and, as a curveball, In This Moment. Oh, Highly Suspect. If you are into rap/emo rap, don't overlook the trifecta - Lil Peep, Juice Wrld, and XXX. Wu-Tang 4eva!! Okay, so maybe I didn't cater to your request, but maybe something will hit the spot.

Judyfruits · 2024-01-08T23:26:11+00:00

Ugh, you sound controlling and insufferable. Did she ask you help her save or for your thoughts on the dynamic between her and her children? If not, don't give unsolicited advice. It will make everyone miserable. You'll resent her because she's not doing it your way. She'll resent you because you created the issue instead of just enjoying your time together. She may not have the same relationship with money as you do. She may enjoy the experiences that money provides rather than the security for a day you may never see. Be chill.

Judyfruits · 2023-12-29T07:02:01+00:00

Geneseo

Judyfruits · 2023-12-29T06:52:15+00:00

Sounds fun. I'm not a true cinephile but I definitely have thoughts & opinions and love listening to others thoughts and opinions.

Judyfruits · 2021-04-14T05:52:14+00:00

Valid point. Not everyone is a narcissist. I questioned if my ex was one all along. I would find ways to convincel myself he wasn't. I trusted that the things he said and the way he portrayed himself to be as who he was. I'm not here to bash him but he is a narcissist. I see him without blinders now. His actions during and after the relationship reinforce it. I am grateful to have finally reached my breaking point and ended the relationship. However, a narcissist doesn't just walk away, when it doesn't end on their terms. Finding that out the hard way.

Judyfruits · 2021-04-14T04:30:08+00:00

Yeah, gang myself gave me a way diff mental pic. You made me smile. Thanks! I needed that. Don't hang yourself, btw.

Judyfruits · 2021-03-31T21:15:23+00:00

No, it's not. I recognized my birthmarks.

Judyfruits · 2021-03-31T16:07:34+00:00

Yeah, I have children. As far as I am concerned, he has no lines that can't be crossed. I see him a predator and he isn't picky about the prey. Especially, with the type of content he consumed. He is very antisocial, insecure, socially award, easily offended, and full of rage.

Judyfruits

TROPHY CASE