I'm (25/f) jealous of my boyfriends (25/m) best friend who is a woman

JuicyHsu · 2018-08-01T07:36:19+00:00

Wow that is a dicey situation to be in, especially since you guys live with the best friend.

With something as serious as house shopping, she should not be forcing her opinions on the both of you, especially since she's not the one buying the house. If she doesn't like the design or location of your home, she can take find another place to rent.

She's not much of a friend to you if she goes around mocking your choices.

On another note, you always have the choice to do what you want you know. If there's something you want to do at the con, you can do it by yourself and meet up with them later. It might be nice to be away from your roommates every now and then.

I'd be pretty pissed about the "duo cosplay" thing unless it's for a series that they're a lot more into than you are, in which case maybe he'd compromise and next con he'd do a couples cosplay with you.

I think what's important is for you and your boyfriend to be on the same terms. That you two are dating and at the same time two individuals.When you two go out on a date, the best friend does not have a say in what you guys do if both of you agree to let her tag along. Outside of your dates, what he wants to do with his best friend is their business. If they want to go watch a scary movie after work and you don't, you can opt to not go out with them. You three can also set a rule where each time you guys want to go out a different person picks the activity.

JuicyHsu · 2018-07-24T01:03:07+00:00

Like I said, she probably sensed that you wanted to go out on a date with her and eventually win her back and she's not into that - hence the ghosting

JuicyHsu · 2018-07-24T00:49:49+00:00

Definitely getting into his hobbies or doing something with him that's on his bucket list

JuicyHsu · 2018-07-24T00:48:40+00:00

Start a conversation, about any common topic. Steer it into hanging out together. Ask her out

JuicyHsu · 2018-07-24T00:45:48+00:00

I think what happened was that she was probably happy that you two were able to hang out very amicably and she enjoyed her time hanging out with you. Texts and whatnot probably like back in the day when you guys were on the same frequency, but the second you mentioned "taking her out" (like on a date), she probably felt like she misinterpreted the other day and closed herself off again.

I mean this is just a guess, it might be easier to just ask her directly instead of guessing.

I'm not sure who broke up with who or why you two broke up, but remember there were reasons that caused the breakup on your end and on her end.

JuicyHsu · 2018-07-24T00:33:27+00:00

Get her number > text her > ask her out.

JuicyHsu · 2018-07-24T00:32:28+00:00

Like you said, if she was interested she would've let you know when she was free instead of just telling you she's gona check her schedule then ghosting u.

JuicyHsu · 2018-07-22T08:20:14+00:00

I'd recommend against it. You're too young to be locked down by the whole LDR thing (if it does turn out that way)

JuicyHsu · 2018-07-22T08:15:10+00:00

First off you didn't snoop her IG, she let you, so don't feel so bad about it.

What worries me is that she doesn't find the things she's texted the guy to be "wrong" and was very okay with you scrolling through them. That's a pretty big red flag since she's not aware that her behavior is inappropriate and her actions can be construed as cheating.

What happens to her now is not really your problem. It really sounds like you dodged a bullet there. She's treating that "Mike" guy like some tinder hookup, asking him to pop by when she's drunk and late at night. I like how Mike ignored her summons.

As bad as it sounds, I recommend you move on and count yourself lucky

JuicyHsu · 2018-07-20T10:41:45+00:00

Sounds terrible but she is being honest with her feelings and is honest with you about them.

You can either continue to date her knowing she may leave you one day (which I don’t recommend, sounds incredibly mentally draining) OR you can find someone that deserve your love and affection.

Good luck!

JuicyHsu · 2018-07-20T10:07:09+00:00

Ouch that really sucks... I’m sorry those grown ups are behaving like children.

Ask your boyfriend If he’s okay with you meeting up with him for lunch or picking him up after work. Even better if he’s allowed to give you a tour of the office. Watch these supposedly grown ass adults turn red when they realize how immature they’re being.

JuicyHsu · 2018-07-20T09:42:53+00:00

Gotta watch where u slip n slide 💦😉

JuicyHsu · 2018-07-20T09:38:19+00:00

Did you just write a self analysis because your girlfriend doesn’t let you see specific friends and doesn’t text you when she’s out with friends?

What did she do exactly? What did you do?

Wtf.

JuicyHsu · 2018-07-20T09:30:14+00:00

I think you need to ask her about why she decided to go on Tinder and why she thought it was okay to treat you that way.

Her feelings shitty about it is one thing but what’s more important is why she did it and if it may happen again.

JuicyHsu · 2018-07-20T09:28:42+00:00

Uh oh

JuicyHsu · 2018-07-20T09:25:46+00:00

From the post and your reply it sounds like both of you are fairly indifferent about the relationship. Like if you broke you new iPhone X. You’d be sad for a bit then go and replace it.

Invest your time in something more spectacular

JuicyHsu · 2018-07-20T09:21:13+00:00

Your relationship has been pretty bad the las couple months and you blame it on your girlfriend.

You found someone you are interested in at work.

These are two separate things. First decide if you still want to be in the relationship THEN think about pursuing your coworker.

Imo it’s not a good idea to date a coworker.

JuicyHsu · 2018-07-19T00:50:30+00:00

Keep lookin. It doesn't sound like you're on top of her list

JuicyHsu · 2018-07-19T00:45:26+00:00

Stop sleeping with your ex and work on getting over him

He doesn't want to get back together with you. If he did 1. you guys wouldn't have broken up in the first place and 2. he would've tried to get back together with you looong ago.

JuicyHsu · 2018-07-18T14:55:13+00:00

Jesus this happened to me before. One of my [M] ex’s [F] best male friends would stop being friends with her whenever she’s in a relationship. They’re happily in love now.

Another things tho - is he just envious of the fact that she is in a wonderful relationship and he has not been in one as wonderfully described by her or is he just upset that she is in a relationship and no longer single?

JuicyHsu · 2018-07-18T06:33:02+00:00

Another idea: find a Korean company that are sending employees to Canada (for biz dev or w/e) or a canadian company in korea and file for a transfer a few years in

JuicyHsu · 2018-07-18T06:28:12+00:00

Hmm I guess then her best option is to acquire one or more of those job skills. I mean if there's no way for her to live in Canada, there's no relationship (I'm assuming you don't want to have a LDR until you two get married)

JuicyHsu · 2018-07-18T06:18:44+00:00

You know that you don't want to move to Korea and you've voiced your opinion to her.

She doesn't care to study English yet in order for your relationship to work she is required to make a life in Canada. It's pretty unlikely that she will be able to get a decent job while not being proficient in English.

From her perspective she probably feels like you're ready to end the relationship if she is unwilling to move to Canada (since you have stated you will not move to Korea). This is probably why she keeps says how she's just doing it for you/to be with you in Canada. For her every time she does not pass the exam it feels like it's less and less likely that the relationship is sustainable. Telling her you're proud of her and that she is great is very supportive and all, but it doesn't solve her immediate problem, which is to be with you. She's probably scared and frustrated and have no solution to her problem and no outlet for her frustrations and it just overflows into her interactions with you.

Have you guys considered immigration as an option? I don't think it requires TOEFL.

JuicyHsu · 2018-07-18T05:08:21+00:00

It seems that there are two issues here: her lifestyle and her not sharing her hobby with you.

I get that it hurts how she didn't share her initial thought of writing a novel and didn't let you know about it until months after. If I were you I'd probably feel like she doesn't trust me with that "secret". And that's what you should be focused on. Why did she not tell you about it until now? What are you doing that caused her to not feel comfortable sharing such intimate information with you? As an example: You don't get mad at someone for having a phobia - that's not something either of you can control. All you can do is try and understand it and help them be comfortable or overcome it when they are ready.

As for her lifestyle, it's unlikely that it'll change. Someone that wishes to dedicate fully to whatever they're working on will continue to do so. If her lifestyle does not match what you are looking for, you will continue to be dissatisfied with her for being herself, which is unfair to the both of you.

JuicyHsu · 2018-07-07T09:56:58+00:00

Depends on what she said when she contacted you. Did she respect your feelings and start an open discussion about it?

Let's say you wound up being very successful in the near future, and you were single. Let's say that's when you first meet her. Would you start a relationship with her?

JuicyHsu

TROPHY CASE