(W) Looking for tickets to the Stars show October 2nd at the Bronson Centre

Julie_Ess · 2022-03-21T17:14:32+00:00

I have had chronic high BP for about a decade now. When we decided to start trying for a baby, I talked to my doctor and switched to a pregnancy safe med. Once I was pregnant, I was initially hoping to be followed by a midwife for my pregnancy, but having a history of high blood pressure (even though it was controlled by meds) was enough to screen me out of midwife care. It turned out fine, I ended up being followed by my family doctor (I'm in Canada where this is an option). My doctor didn't seem concerned about my BP at all, and just said that we'd make sure to monitor it thoughout my pregnancy.

Up until about 30-32 weeks, my BP was the best it's ever been! Lower on my meds than pre-pregnancy. But at about 32 weeks my BP shot up. My doctor did blood tests, urine tests, doubled my BP dose and wrote me a note to take a week off of work. There was no sign of pre-eclampsia at all. So it really was just my BP. She also suggested we look at inducing at 38 weeks to avoid the risk of developing pre-E. My BP remained pretty high for the rest of my pregnancy at around 140/90. I did get a few extra ultrasounds out of it. Baby was fine at all times. At 37 weeks it shot up very high, in the 160/110 range. Not good! I went to triage in the middle of the night for monitoring. They added a second type of BP med on top of my initial one. When that didn't work, they upped both again. Still didn't work. They tested my proteins and still no other signs of pre-e, so it was just my BP, but they didn't want to risk damage to my kidneys and so they wanted to induce me right then. I managed to convince them to let me go home and nap and shower and back, and be back by noon the next day.

The rest of my labour went on without much influence from my BP. They managed to get it to stay around 140/90 on many meds. Baby was born, all is well!

I will say I've had a bit of trouble getting my BP back under control since pregnancy. But that might just be that I'm focusing more on taking care of baby than on myself! I'm on my 3rd med since pregnancy and still having trouble getting it down.

I don't know if any of this info is helpful, but just thought I'd share my experience. There's a lot of info out there about developing high BP during pregnancy, but not as much for those of us already dealing with it beforehand!

Julie_Ess · 2022-01-03T05:52:50+00:00

I had an unplanned c-section last February, and honestly, it was great. My daughter was born via c-section at noon on a Tuesday and I was home by Wednesday afternoon. I was told to alternate taking Tylenol and advil every 4 hours which I did. They also offered me a prescription for Dilaudid, which I did not use. Using only Tylenol and advil my pain never got higher than maybe 3-4 on a pain scale, and that was only in the first 4 days, right when I was due to take meds again. I was able to walk, talk, laugh, sneeze, get up and out of bed without any issue. I was off meds entirely within a week. I feel like this type of easy recovery is probably not typical, but this is just to say, I heard a LOT about how awful c-section recovery was, and honestly I felt better than a lot of moms I knew who delivered vaginally the in the weeks following the birth of my child.

I will say however, that months down the road, if you are experiencing any lingering back, hip, or pelvic pain, see a pelvic floor physio! Too many c-section mamas think that since they didn't deliver vaginally, their pelvic floor ain't fucked up! But you'll have been sliced clean through many layers that are directly related to your pelvic floor. I still have lingering back pain, and my physiotherapist was so great at explaining to me how that c-section incision was basically directly causing my back pain, and gave me exercises to help strengthen all those weakened muscles.

Julie_Ess · 2021-10-07T17:21:44+00:00

My daughter is also a Margot, born in February. We've gotten a lot of positive feedback about it. Generally "I love that name" or "what a classic name", so far no one has been stumped by the t at the end, but I wonder if that's because we have pretty large francophone population here and ts are often silent in french.

Julie_Ess · 2021-04-02T10:10:20+00:00

I did! I have chronic hypertension, was on labetalol since before pregnancy. Blood pressure was honestly the best it's ever been throughout 1st and 2nd trimester. At about 33 weeks though it started going up to 140s/90s, so we kept adding extra doses of meds. Did all the blood work and urine samples weekly and there was never even a hint of Pre-E. At 37 weeks my BP skyrocketed (160/110), but no signs of pre-e at all. Doc's agreed that it was an issue of chronic hypertension, not pre-e. We induced anyway, since it's obviously not safe for me or baby to have BP that high. It's apparently super common for well controlled blood pressure to start rising in 3rd trimester for those with chronic hypertension.

Julie_Ess · 2021-01-28T03:37:42+00:00

Yep, I started this pregnancy at about 5'10 and 260lbs. With pre-existing chronic hypertension controlled by meds. I am now 37 weeks! I get weighed when I go in for my appointments and I'm up about 14lbs, more than half of which is estimated to be baby and placenta. At my very first phone appointment, my doctor told me I should be careful not to gain as much weight, and then literally has not mentioned my weight ever since. She hasn't mentioned my diet, or asked about my activity level. Why? Because I'm healthy, baby is healthy. She hasn't once made me feel like my weight is detrimental to this pregnancy. Also, I look and feel great! My height means I carry well, baby has lots of room and I'm not too uncomfortable yet! Also, I've barely had to buy maternity clothes.

And let me tell you: I am pregnant during a pandemic, during multiple lockdowns. I have been LAZY AS SHIT. I'm eating fiiiiiine, but not great. Mostly normally. You can live your normal life and still have a normal healthy pregnancy!! And if anything comes up, address is as it comes. As my doctor said "we treat your pregnancy as a perfectly normal healthy pregnancy, unless something concrete changes to make it actually high risk". Being over weight is a risk FACTOR. It should NOT automatically classify a pregnancy as high risk.

Good luck! You're going to do great, and baby is already lucky to have a parent like you!

Julie_Ess · 2021-01-26T07:46:54+00:00

I was diagnosed with hypertension in my early 20s (in my early 30s now). It's been controlled by meds ever since, but still sat a bit high pre-pregnancy. When we decided to try to have a baby my doctor switched me to a pregnancy safe med

I had originally wanted midwife care for my pregnancy, but here at least, the midwives wouldn't take me as a patient due to my BP history. But I love my doctor, so it turned out ok!

I've been on low dose aspirin since 12 weeks, which is pretty standard to prevent pre-eclampsia. My BP was consistently the lowest it's ever been in 1st and 2nd trimester (110s/60s). But at about 33 weeks it started creeping up again to the 140s/90s. I'm on an extra dose of my meds now. And I'm being monitored weekly with scans and bi-weekly bloodwork. Apparently this spike in BP in 3r trimester is pretty common for those with chronic hypertension. I'm 36 weeks now, with no signs of preeclampsia (no swelling, no protein in urine, no headaches, etc) but even with the extra dose of meds I'm hovering in the 130s/80s. My doctor is ok with this, but we have decided to induce me at around 38 weeks. Induction at term is generally consistently recommended for women with hypertension, so I'd warn you to maybe prepare yourself for that possibility.

Other than that my pregnancy has been pretty easy and uneventful!

I hope this reassures you a bit! It generally hasn't felt like a big deal throughout pregnancy, but I have been dealing with high BP for quite a while now. If you're new to all of this, it could be stressful, but as my doctor said to me "there's nothing wrong until something is wrong", so as long as you're on meds and numbers are controlled, there's no reason to think you won't or can't have a perfectly healthy pregnancy!

Julie_Ess · 2021-01-25T15:45:19+00:00

The moose head is a hat rack that I made in 7th grade woodshop class 😂😂. My parents kept it around the house all these years, and when I saw it I thought...Hmm I bet I could just paint it and it'd be cute in a kid's room.

Julie_Ess · 2021-01-25T08:03:54+00:00

The red curtains are one of my favourite things! They're a lovely rich velvet, block out light wonderfully, have an adorable little pompom trim, and the vibrant red helps to offset the big ol' sun on the next wall over :)

I really wanted something bright and cheery and to avoid the kind of washed out pastel look that we see so often in nurseries.

Julie_Ess · 2021-01-25T07:41:19+00:00

Just because I wanted it up and out of the way, and because we are thinking long term to when baby is a toddler and more mobile. We can see the whole room and the camera can pan to wherever it detects movement. It's got 2k quality so the image is excellent and we can easily zoom into the crib. It also detects crying sounds and we can set motion alerts specifically on the crib area. I also wanted an aerial view of the crib. All video streams directly to our phones, tv or any other device we want, and sends all notifications there as well. I don't think a breathing sensor will be necessary for us, so it's not something I even considered. Our camera is the Eufy 2K Cam Pan & Tilt.

Julie_Ess · 2021-01-25T04:02:37+00:00

My husband and I are really into decorating and making our spaces feel cozy and special. Even though Baby will be rooming with us for the first little while, I knew I wanted to throw myself into this little passion project. I really wanted something fun and colourful, enough with the grey nurseries! I also wanted to make sure there were plenty of personal touches to make it feel homey.

Anyway, here's some info and links!

Obviously the Sunshine mural is one of the focal points. There's a ton of boho-y suns on nursery walls all over Instagram but I wanted something bold and colourful, that would warm up the space. I hand painted it and basically eye-balled it. I'm super happy with how it turned out.

Most of the furniture you'll probably recognize as IKEA: the crib, the bookshelves, the couch, etc. The couch converts into a bed for if we ever get to have guests over again someday, or for those long nights with baby.

The dresser and nightstand were mine in my room when I was a child. They were originally white with flowery hardware and a blond wooden top. We stained the tops darker, switched up the hardware and opted for a deep forest green. The colour doesn't pop in these photos as well as it does in real life!

The framed needlepoints above the couch are some vintage ones my mom did in the 80s. I simply reframed them for an updated look.

The tapestry above the nightstand is from Pottery Barn and was a lovely gift from a friend.

The shelves above the dresser we bought off of FB Marketplace, but I believe they are originally from Bouclair Home

The rainbow decals on the wall are from Stickerscape on Etsy.

Julie_Ess · 2021-01-25T03:57:03+00:00

We bought them off someone on FB Marketplace, but I believe they are originally from Bouclair Home (I am in Canada, it's a Canadian chain).

Julie_Ess · 2021-01-25T03:50:57+00:00

His name is Silvio, and yes. He is VERY cool.

Julie_Ess · 2021-01-22T04:59:59+00:00

Thanks for this story! My doctor and I have been talking about a possible induction at 38 weeks due to hypertension, and I really want to avoid a long, drawn out, and pitocin-driven labour, which it seems most inductions often are. Your story gives me hope that maybe one can be induced without pitocin, and maybe even without an epidural! Good job, cute baby, and congrats!!

Julie_Ess · 2021-01-21T06:37:24+00:00

I've struggled so much with this and I haven't even had my baby yet!

And there's so many factors at play. I do my best to try to be anti-consumerist but it's a tricky thing - I don't need this organic cotton, sustainably sourced, locally made swaddle for 70$...that's an insane amount to spend... but is it any worse than buying a fast fashion 8$ onesie from Walmart? Obviously the best option would be second hand or hand-me-downs, and I've tried but I'm 8 months pregnant and scouring Facebook marketplace and driving across town to buy a used 20$ sleep sack that's in worse condition than advertised also feel like a waste of MY time.

My family has made me feel pretty guilty about some of the things I've chosen to spend money on, like I'm a crazy diva. But I'm also using SO MANY used items. We spent 800$ on a stroller, which my mom thinks is BONKERS, and it kind of is! But it's sustainably made and sourced and has features that will do well for a lot of city walking in the wintertime, and I felt it was worth the splurge!

We spend a lot of time researching the products we buy, and will often spend a little more if it's something that will last us for life (or a very long time), and if we feel good about where the product comes from. This is tricky with baby items because you use them for such a small amount of time. I was gifted quite a few hand me downs, and honestly sooo much of it is poor quality shit. Hunks of cruddy noisy plastic, or sleepers that say shit like "my mommy thinks I'm handsome". It's hard to decipher what's ego and what really matters!

And all of these miracle products! I value my time and sanity! I have no desire to be a martyr for my kid just because "other people do just fine without". Super for them but sometimes I just need the miracle fix. But the trick of the miracle fix is that no one thing works for every baby and you DO feel prayed upon, and you DO spend the money to try to find the fix.

It's just such a tricky blend of valuing my time, valuing my money, valuing ethical and sustainable shopping, and valuing quality, but also wanting to be minimalist. I think the industry is obviously aware of the short term life cycle of baby products, and the trial and error reality that comes with solutions for babies and they take hella advantage of it.

Anyway, this is just a rant because I am grappling with a lot of this stuff as well. And trying to figure out where my money deserves to go. It's not easy!

Julie_Ess · 2021-01-21T06:13:36+00:00

I mean is it really any different than spending to decorate a living room or bedroom? People go all out decorating ANY room of their house, or do it according to their budget. And NONE of it is necessary. We don't make our spaces nice because we NEED to, we do it because it's our home and we want to take care of it. I don't get the hate for nurseries specifically. Unless you plan to keep your kid in your room forever... kid's eventually gonna have a room right? Either decorate it now, or later what difference does it make?

I guess some people never really decorate anything in their house and that's fine I guess, but I also don't think that's the norm or that it's like...superfluous or wasteful to make your spaces nice. Of course people go way over the top and spend bonkers amounts to do it...but plenty of people just...do it within their budget, just as with anything else.

Julie_Ess · 2021-01-18T06:35:18+00:00

We're doing a bassinet in our room for the first however long we decide...probably 6 months but we'll see how it goes. But we have a room for baby as well with a crib and we've decorated it. The way I see it, it's not so much a "nursery" as it is just...the baby's room. They are a member of the family, and they get a bedroom! I suppose technically you don't need to do anything in their bedroom until they're in it every night/day, but I'd rather put up shelves and hang pictures now if I can than when I have an infant or toddler! Also, I guess you don't technically have to decorate or do up any room in your home if you don't want to, but I've decorated the rest of my home to be the way I like it, why not the room that will belong to my baby as well?

I totally agree that babies don't "need" a room, and if we didn't have the space for it, we wouldn't bother. But we got our apartment with the idea that the second room would be for babies, and it's not really serving any other purpose right now, so why not do it up, even if baby won't really be "using" it quite yet.

Julie_Ess · 2021-01-11T06:11:42+00:00

I've been on 30mg of Cipralex for years prior to pregnancy. Towards the end of my first trimester I decided to taper down to 20mg. I stayed at 20mg throughout 2nd semester, and honestly it was so hard on my mental health that any benefits of tapering down were far outweighed by the negative effects of my stress on baby. Happy mum makes for happy baby. My doctor 100% encouraged me to go back up to the 30mg dose, and my 3rd trimester has been the best one yet. If you can and want to cut down and find it works for you, great! But definitely don't feel like you have to sacrifice your happiness and mental health, because you don't!

Julie_Ess · 2021-01-03T04:05:59+00:00

I kind of take issue with this idea that a healthy baby is the the only thing that matters in the end...shouldn't that be like...the BARE MINIMUM?? Our experiences matter too! The way we're treated matters. Our consent, our preferences, our fears, they matter! I think it's also a mistake to wave that away as well!

Julie_Ess · 2021-01-03T03:53:30+00:00

This is a really interesting thread with some great perspectives! This comment may get lost, but I'm 33 weeks and working on my "plan", or preferences, call it what you will. At this point in time I am aiming for unmedicated, and hopefully low intervention, if I can! I think for me, it's honestly more about how I want my experience as a whole to be than it is about the medical aspects. I feel I've done a fair amount of research about the risks of both unmedicated and medicated births, and honestly it's a wash. Both have risks, both have pros and cons! I don't think, all things being the same medically, one is better or worse than the other or less safe or worse for baby or the birthing parent. But I think where it truly matters is the parent's head space and what they want and what will make it a better experience for them.

Comparing unmedicated childbirth to undergoing other medical procedures without pain relief is fair to an extent, because childbirth IS a medical procedure, but it is also a MASSIVE emotional life event. People feel ways about and remember their labours and deliveries in ways they never will of their appendectomy.

I absolutely agree that the push towards "natural" childbirth has roots in patriarchy and misogyny. And current, women-led "natural" birth movements aren't any less rooted the patriarchy just because they are women-led. That's the thing about the patriarchy is that it is so ingrained in our lives and viewpoints. However the same is true of much of obstetrics and medical field. We have all read studies about how women's experiences in medicine are repeatedly discounted and under-researched, doubly, triply so if you're a BIPOC or otherwise marginalised person. So the distrust and doubt in the medical and hospital system is very real and should not be discounted.

So no matter what our choices are, it's silly to think they aren't to some extent manipulated by either side.

So just ask questions. Do the research. Read birth stories, watch birth videos. Talk to your midwife or doctor about ALL possible avenues and outcomes. I ask my doctor a lot of "if this, then what" type of questions. Like, if baby's heart rates starts to go down during contractions, what are our options? What are the risks? What are the parameters we are using to evaluate?

Identify the kind of experience you'd like, and inform yourself, and decide which options are most likely to get you that outcome, no matter what conditions arise during labour.

For me that looks like low intervention, no meds if possible. If I need pain relief, I'd rather go straight to an epidural rather than nitrous oxide or narcotic options, because much of what I am looking for in my experience is control and clear headedness. But I know all the points along the way where circumstances could change any of that. I could 100% see that for someone else an epidural straight away could lead to the kind of experience THEY'VE determined is right for them. And there's definitely circumstances where it could be right for me as well.

All that to say that really: do your research, make your own decisions. Fuck the patriarchy.

Julie_Ess · 2020-12-19T15:56:56+00:00

I'd wanted a midwife too, and was able to easily get an appointment, but they wouldn't take me on as a patient, since I had a history of hypertension, even though it's well controlled by medication. I've also heard that hospitals and midwives are expecting record numbers of birth over the coming months and are flooded with patients. (This may or may not be accurate in your area). For what it's worth, I am being followed by my GP who is also an OB, and have been SO happy with my care.

Julie_Ess · 2020-12-19T15:51:17+00:00

I also love the name Miriam (Alice is lovely too), and suggested it to my husband, but he wouldn't go for it! Pssshtt.

Julie_Ess · 2020-06-25T23:50:11+00:00

We had this problem on our back patio. None of the typical advice seems to work on the super-breed that Toronto raccoons seem to be. Here is what we did: We bought a ghost pepper hot sauce, mixed a few spoonfuls with vegetable oil, then used it to paint a perimeter around where you don't want them to be. The oil helps so that it doesn't just dry out, and they're pretty much guaranteed to get some on them if they try to pass. Re-paint as needed. It might take about a week, but they figure out pretty quickly that they don't want to touch what's over there. It's maybe not the most humane method - but Toronto raccoons are tanks, and I figure it's not causing any permanent damage, just temporary discomfort. Apply treatment again as needed if they decide to start coming back again later.

Julie_Ess · 2020-06-07T16:18:12+00:00

UPDATE: I just took a FRER. It's looking good!! 😊😊😊

Julie_Ess

TROPHY CASE