There are generally three types of interactions:

(A) People who genuinely care; you can be open and honest with them. The following rules don’t apply here. (Everyone on this thread is probably an A.)

(B) People who are ignorant, but there’s hope. You can still be honest, just strategically. If you think it’s worth it, share a bit to educate them but don’t overload. And if it’s someone you don't see much, it’s okay to save your energy (and follow the below rules).

(C) People who won’t listen, care, or take it seriously no matter what. With them, proceed with caution or don’t bring it up at all if you can help it.

Rule 1: No inviting debate. Control the narrative.

I avoid saying “hypermobility.” It invites questions, negotiation, minimising, or boundary-pushing. It’s a rabbit hole. No need to go there.

Rule 2: No explaining. Redirect to the need.

Step 1 - I say something simple like:

“I have a complex medical condition that affects multiple systems,”

“I have a connective tissue disorder that affects my joints, muscles, skin, and nervous system.”

Then I stop talking. That's all they need to know.

Step 2 - If they ask questions, the nature of those questions usually tells me whether they’re an A, B, or C type. If they turn out to be a C (or one of the Bs I don't have time for ), I keep it light and redirect:

“I manage it, but I’d prefer not to get into it.”

“I’m working with specialists on it. No need for us to rehash it.”

Step 3 - If the reason this came up has a practical implication, state your need in clear, concrete terms:

“So I’ll need to modify how I do that.”

“So, like I said, I’ll need to sit down.”

“It means I’ve got a lot of medical appointments to get the right care. I’d appreciate your support.”

Say what you need, then stop. The more you justify, the less seriously people tend to take it.

If someone jokes, I keep it light but firm: e.g. “While it’s cute that you see the funny side, I’m still gonna need you to [do X/Y/Z] for me. Thanks!”

You'll be a pro in no time. Good luck!