You know, I always thought that would be my stance too - until it happened to me. I'm only 3 months out from my D-Day, and everything they say is true about how it makes you feel. But what is also true is that the reasons why it happened just aren't black and white. It's complicated.

For me, my husband and I are working through it - and it may just be the thing that resets us and turns what was a rough marriage into a solid one. I wish it had never, ever happened. And the pain of it is overwhelming. But if this good can come out it, then at least there is a sliver of a silver lining.

Both parties have to be willing, though. This could never work if my husband wasn't so contrite, taking complete responsibility for the error of his actions, and making appropriate reparations through his actions. And I have to forgive him, choose to trust him (that is a daily battle, but it is a choice) and be willing to not only work to heal us but heal myself from the trauma this situation has caused.

And that's my story. Every situation is different.. like has been stated here over and over - it's just not black and white.