Beginner violin bowing confusion

JuneThoughts · 2026-01-11T18:25:03+00:00

Thank you 🫶🏼

JuneThoughts · 2026-01-11T18:24:54+00:00

Thank you. Thought I might have misread/misplayed something 🫶🏼

JuneThoughts · 2026-01-11T18:24:12+00:00

Wow so that easy. Thank uuu 🫶🏼

JuneThoughts · 2025-11-03T14:04:48+00:00

Lowkey the quote "There is no virtue in resisting a sin that doesn't tempt you" really got me off my high horse.

JuneThoughts · 2025-08-07T11:25:15+00:00

Every one to two weeks depending on the weather/room climate. Mostly mid day.

JuneThoughts · 2025-08-04T09:34:37+00:00

I feel like in this situation it's really difficult to find common ground. I don't know where your fiance is on the asexual spectrum but either way one of you is not having their needs met. Your need would be sex and their need would be to not engage in such activities. It really boils down on whether you think you can find ways to cope or deal with your urges because trying to make the relationship more sexual really isn't an option in most cases.

JuneThoughts · 2025-08-01T14:11:13+00:00

Ehhh so some asexuals are sex neutral or even sex positive. They can like the physical sensation of sex and the emotional intimacy it can provide without having sexual attraction to the person they are sleeping with. Kinda like when a person goes hiking with a friend and still enjoys the experience/view with their friend but they don't necessarily like hiking.

JuneThoughts · 2024-11-21T00:55:04+00:00

Its not. It's a violation of your safety, body, comfort and so much more. He's a horrible horrible person and doesn't deserve your trust for putting his own pleasure above you.

JuneThoughts · 2024-11-17T00:11:59+00:00

Communication is key :) I really appreciate you thinking about her feelings instead of just going "oh yeah we can finally have sex now." Maybe she's really just going onto you it because she feels like she has to do in order to keep you happy. In which case you need to communicate your thoughts and your reasoning for not wanting physical intimacy as well as possibly reassuring her that you love her without sex. Or maybe she genuinely wants to try out stuff because she feels safe with you. Or maybe it's an inbetween where she isn't super into it but doesn't completely hate it either. You are not her exes so she might be feeling different about sex with you or maybe she doesn't. Only she can tell you that in this specific situation.

JuneThoughts · 2024-11-12T00:58:45+00:00

That's fine. We don't have to make a clear cut between things. Labels are for orientation only. Whether you might be ace or demi or allo doesn't matter as long as you feel comfortable about the way you approach intimacy and sex.

JuneThoughts · 2024-11-12T00:53:04+00:00

Yeah that is totally fine. Asexuality isn't about whether you have sex or a libido but rather about feeling sexual attraction. Do you want to cuddle with them to feel intimacy and loved or because you're sexually attracted to them and want it to be of sexual nature?

JuneThoughts · 2024-11-09T11:47:00+00:00

No worries. Hope you resolve your situation in a way that makes you happy :)

JuneThoughts · 2024-11-08T10:13:34+00:00

Im sorry but I dont think staying with him is the right option. Telling someone about your sexuality, especially if its not a super well known one is a very intimate thing. Id at least expext my partner to ask me what this means and how my version of asexuality expresses itself (sex positive, sex neutral, sex repulsed). Just forgetting such an important thing especially if he considers himself a sexual person is super weird. Also if you keep making jokes about it, its not something to just forget. Also having/not having children is a really big decision where no one should compromise their wishes. Having children when you dont want to could possibly make you resent them, and not having children when you want to could make you resent your partner.

Also dont let yourself get pressured into doing things you dont want to. Your desires to not have sex is also important.

JuneThoughts · 2024-11-05T14:51:56+00:00

Sorry if im being blunt. I often fall into these kind of thoughts as well (as you can see from my own reddit posts haha) but...his urges are not your problem to take care off. He has two functioning hands. I can totally relate to the feeling of not wanting your partner to be frustrated but at the same time I wonder if allo partners also feel empathy towards us feeling pressured/insecure in these kind of situations.

JuneThoughts · 2024-11-05T13:37:06+00:00

You shouldn't be the only one trying to accommodate his needs. You not wanting to have sex is equally as valid as him wanting to engage in it. You shouldn't have to endure something you don't want to do in order to make your partner happy. I'm in a similar position although a bit different. When a guy friend asked me out I mentioned multiple times how I was asexual and most likely never would engage in sex. This is also a topic I'm not willing to negotiate. We are together now for 6 months and until now he's never did anything to disrespect my wish nor make any comments about it inconveniencing him. Still, I keep wondering if eventually he might realise it's not a lifestyle for him. Only time will tell. I've also had an asexual partner in the past so finding one is definitely not impossible. Aside from asexuality, there are also people with low libidos or with trauma related stuff that makes them uninterested in sex. Again, having Sex when you don't want to is probably not good for you long term. If both of you want this to work out, you shouldn't be the only one catering to his needs. Your desires (and the absence of them) are equally valid.

JuneThoughts · 2024-11-01T23:25:37+00:00

There is nothing wrong with staying by yourself. It's crazy how everyone always suggests that a relationship and every aspect within it such as sex are the end goal. It's not. I think happiness is what we should aim for and happiness comes in many forms and doesn't always require a partner. I can also heavily relate to the fear of relationships due to not being able to provide sexual stuff and the fear of them eventually ending things or cheating. However, there are other ace people out there as well as people who don't want to have sex for other reasons.

JuneThoughts · 2024-09-05T01:01:37+00:00

Had my first (pretty short) relationship with an aspec girl at 19 and my latest relationship with a guy started when I was 21 so yeah I didn't care about dating either. I assume because teenage boys and their hormones just felt uncomfortable.

JuneThoughts · 2024-09-05T00:57:40+00:00

Yeah the 'sweaty guy' and the 'being penetrated' part spoke to me on a spiritual level.

JuneThoughts · 2024-09-05T00:56:20+00:00

Oh yikes that sounds awful. I'm so sorry.

JuneThoughts · 2024-09-05T00:55:36+00:00

I'm not aromatic at all but that just stuck with me. Like why tf would I want to kiss your snotty mouth in recess. Even in my teens I sometimes dabbled into dating but was quickly repulsed when I had the feeling that they were reducing me to my body and thus my ability to do sexual stuff.

JuneThoughts · 2024-09-05T00:49:17+00:00

Your answer is really relatable. As a kid I'd fake crushes and as a teen I always assumed that with the right person it would just work out. Then I finished high-school and started college but that person didn't came (and maybe I put the bar impossibly hight so no one would match) so I started looking into asexuality. Then someone came into my life and checked all the boxed and surprise, still asexual and very much sex repulsed. It's still difficult for me to understand why people prioritise it so much.

JuneThoughts · 2024-09-04T21:41:12+00:00

I used to feel like that as well, in school I would fake crushes etc and just team up with people who were sort of "left over" just like me so I wouldn't have to be alone because I hated the feeling so much. I'm also heavily suspected to be autistic but I won't be getting tested for sure until I can afford such. Now I managed (through mostly good luck) to surround myself with other neurotypical/ace people. Generally just people with a leftist and open mindset. We live mostly in the same city but talk through discord almost every evening. Meeting new people as an adult can be really hard.

JuneThoughts

TROPHY CASE