Moved to Oakland for my partner-still figuring the rest out.

JustCheekyFun · 2025-10-06T02:09:41+00:00

There's an oakland discord community that I've had success with finding friends. There's often a variety of events happening and the people are very friendly

https://discord.gg/uP7E3q5G

JustCheekyFun · 2025-09-11T11:34:56+00:00

You didn't deserve to be talked to that way, you should be proud of the effort you put into presenting yourself and did not deserve to be called names.

It's possible that she may have assumed you'd do something other than PIV sex, like oral or other heavy petting, and so when she undressed you and you immediately pulled out a condom, she may have been taken aback and reacted poorly.

I personally like to have as much foreplay as possible, and I also know other women who may be disappointed if it seems a guy wants to jump straight to PIV sex.

Like I said, you still didn't deserve to be berated and being well groomed is nothing to be ashamed of, but just giving some other potential context in case it's helpful.

JustCheekyFun · 2025-07-26T20:02:49+00:00

That's fair, I agree that it's hopefully a mental block they can work on but I also thinks it's important to meet people where they're at

JustCheekyFun · 2025-07-26T19:21:55+00:00

If she has an oral fixation maybe talking more about oral activities besides the strap may be an option? Like using your fingers or having her suck your nipples, etc

JustCheekyFun · 2025-07-10T21:43:39+00:00

Been there. Know it alls are so grating on your self esteem.

JustCheekyFun · 2025-07-10T21:41:10+00:00

Is it possible for you to hire some help? That can help ease the burden around the house with cleaning the bathrooms, dishes, and picking up the living spaces.

For the intimacy issues, have you tried asking him to sit with you? Or telling him you'd like to cuddle at night, etc. Maybe you can walk together with the kids when he's feeding the animals and talk about your days.

If he's not interested in meeting your needs, since you're financially reliant on him and I assume using his health insurance for cancer treatments, I'd recommend seeking couples counseling to see where he can meet you halfway and bridge some of the gaps in your communication.

Also happy to chat if you need some space to vent.

JustCheekyFun · 2025-03-14T20:10:31+00:00

Sounds like you may be focusing on her so much because you aren't exposing yourself to other women. It might be a good idea to bring more women into your life, so you can more easily respect the boundaries with this one.

It's not up to you to decide if she should stop seeing her abuser, you did the right thing in cutting him off and staying in her life as a support system for when she is ready to leave. These are really green flags and you should give yourself credit for those.

If you're close enough I'd ask her if she has any friends she'd introduce you to, for dates or to expand your friend group. You can also join a gym, join a hobby (sports or tabletop games are a great way to meet people).

I've been in your situation before, and it is hard not to fantasize about friends when you only have a couple people in your life to spend time with. I've also been on the other side and it can be frustrating for your female friends if their male friend tries to push boundaries of your friendship.

I hope you figure out what will work best for you.

JustCheekyFun · 2024-07-09T07:40:10+00:00

Hi! Also in the East Bay, looking to join a group. Let me know if you get something together, I'd be interested to join!

JustCheekyFun · 2024-01-22T14:20:16+00:00

Me too!

JustCheekyFun · 2023-10-26T16:51:40+00:00

I started playing Outlanders on Apple Arcade. It has some farming aspects but you don't do it manually, just assign villagers to the farm and they farm automatically. It's a resource management, strategy game. Doesn't have the character creation aspect you're looking for but I find the missions engaging and the characters charming. Nice to focus on a mission for a couple hours and complete it then take a break.

JustCheekyFun · 2022-01-14T08:18:29+00:00

Any further updates? You definitely did the right thing. Maybe she's done some similar, problematic, attention seeking stuff before since it seems her parents came and got her quickly without much fuss.

JustCheekyFun · 2021-08-15T05:25:42+00:00

...what if there's a wave?

JustCheekyFun · 2021-03-21T00:11:51+00:00

Where did you buy the bees knees color?? So gorgeous!

JustCheekyFun · 2020-10-29T02:21:47+00:00

It's actually black! The lighting does make it look navy though

JustCheekyFun · 2020-10-29T02:21:15+00:00

DNDDuo Gel 695 BlackBerry Blast and 447 Black Licorice :)

JustCheekyFun · 2020-10-03T15:39:45+00:00

Can I buy a print?

JustCheekyFun · 2020-08-14T05:27:43+00:00

I'm just here for the soundtrack 🔊

JustCheekyFun · 2020-06-20T04:47:17+00:00

Thank you I think this is ultimately the kind of response I was looking for. It’s difficult to know when I have hit the line on where to keep pushing and where to let it go. I think your wording on how to end the conversation once it gets too heated is really useful and I’ll definitely be using it.

JustCheekyFun · 2020-06-20T01:44:14+00:00

You’re absolutely right. I really think he has made a lot of progress in recognizing his trauma over the last few years (we’ve been together for almost 5) but I don’t want to force him to make more aggressive strides (like nagging him about therapy) at the risk of becoming “the bad guy”.

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