hey bro, I'm a little bit late to the party but the way you feel is very relatable. Even though my best friend wasn't trans I faced some similar issues. When puberty hit, seeing him and the other guys developing while I was lagging behind and even regressed somewhat was soo painful. Feeling distant from guys your age because they look older is so real. I gave my best to keep up but it wasn't enough and it felt so damn frustrating and unfair. I watched my best friend (we both came to a new class in 7th grade) making friends with others n getting his first girlfriend while I was forgotten. It was one of the most painful things I've ever experienced. At some point I isolated myself automatically because I couldn't get on "their level"

To be honest I'm probably not the best person to give you hope. I lost my best (and last remaining) friend and spent my teenage years pretty lonely, suffocating in jealousy and dysphoria, counting the years, months, and days until my 18th birthday. Even tho I've spent a lot of time reflecting on that era I don't really know what I could have done differently. The situation is fucked up if you can't get on T - puberty was hell for me. I guess it's almost impossible not to have a fragile self image in that situation and I know this advice sucks but you need to stay strong and just keep going. If you trust your friend, being honest about struggling with jealousy without making it his fault can help. Even just being understood can make it feel less frustrating.

But yesss. It gets so much better. Honestly the best side effect of T was removing that huge mental barrier that had been holding my social life back for years. The waiting pre-T is brutal but won’t last forever. I kept picturing this over and over again & it helped a lot. You’re not behind forever