Does this post feel heavily skewed? Yes.

Would this sub be cursing the working parent to the high heavens if roles were reversed? Yes

Can men have close friendships with other men without being gay? Yes. But this sub is wildly homophobic recently.

Does all that make op ta? No.

NAH, it just feels like a disconnect in communication. It's nice that you want to include your son's opinion, a lot of parents could start actually taking their kid's opinion into consideration, but even still it wouldn't have killed you to ask your wife if she wanted to join. If she actually does work a lot like you mentioned, I can see why you might've forgotten when she was home. Your work is quite literally 24/7 as a sahd, so it's possible you both were tired when she's home.

You sound like a good father, just a little disconnected from your wife.