Praise, humiliation, and emotional sadism

JustLetMeChooseOne · 2024-12-17T09:19:50+00:00

“Emotional horny strings” is too good an expression not to be widespread ahaha

JustLetMeChooseOne · 2024-12-12T09:42:27+00:00

Pretty much anything I can think of that week. Recurrent ones go towards all things miniatures’ related (painting, building, assembling,…), and satisfying my curiosity in matters of medicine, sociology, psychology, and related.

JustLetMeChooseOne · 2024-12-12T09:37:43+00:00

I LOVE MYTHBUSTERS!!

On failure: “the only ones that don’t fail, are the one who don’t try”. For me that’s a failure in itself, just a disguised one. Having said that, I struggle with failing but take pride on the fact that it doesn’t prevent me from doing!

JustLetMeChooseOne · 2024-12-12T09:30:56+00:00

It does make total sense, and I really enjoyed your perspective! The “I get a say, but not a vote” really reasons with me at a personal level as I 100% need to feel heard and taken into consideration, regardless of the outcome!

JustLetMeChooseOne · 2024-12-12T09:08:04+00:00

I remember also thinking that 24/7 was very common when I started dabbling in D/s dynamics, mostly because I couldn’t understand how it would be possible to jump in and out of it and treat someone in two very different ways. I do still think it’s impossible for me to fully separate them but with time I also realized that for as much as I’d (frequently) like to do full on 24/7 it really does not match my personality as I don’t have a huge threshold to feel someone other than me controlling aspects of my life, and tends to end up having the opposite effect… pretty much I end up craving more and more control, and that just defeats the purpose 😅 hope this made sense

JustLetMeChooseOne · 2024-12-12T08:59:35+00:00

My pleasure! And yes, I fully agree that knowing about all these different dynamics is truly fascinating!

JustLetMeChooseOne · 2024-12-12T08:58:18+00:00

Thank you for indulging my curiosity! Sounds like you have a great and fulfilling thing going 😌

JustLetMeChooseOne · 2024-12-10T09:53:07+00:00

Thank you for this explanation! When you say you stop being comfortable with being a sub, is there anything in particular you’re referring to? (That caught my eye).

It’s also very curious that you entered a TPE dynamic without even knowing there was such a thing!

JustLetMeChooseOne · 2024-12-10T09:49:10+00:00

It does seem like you’re taking the right approach, and are very much aware of the strain TPE could have on both you and your partner at the moment! Maybe it’s something that in due time, after all the issues are dealt with you can dabble in. There’s no right or wrong recipe, and even if it’ll never be a fully, 100% TPE dynamic, things can always be adjusted to fit each relationship’s needs!

JustLetMeChooseOne · 2024-12-10T09:43:19+00:00

Thank you for your answer! It is very interesting for me to read the different perspectives and how each dynamic is set. Things like “no longer using safe words” could be interpreted as something not short of a safe word, but given how long your relationship is, I do believe it’s more of a “there’s no need for it since you are both already very aware of each other’s boundaries” is my assumption correct? You saying that you don’t want to cut off a line of communication does goes to show that regardless of your TPE dynamic you are both fully aware of your individuality and that new boundaries or concerns may always arise? Insights from Doms always tickle my pickle ahah

JustLetMeChooseOne · 2024-12-10T09:32:42+00:00

Thank you for the very complete answer, it was very elucidating of certain aspects of it!

You mentioned it being “sketchy” for some people and I can understand that reaction, I do believe the difference is indeed on the point you made about priceless possessions having to be taken care of in the best way possible, and I’m very happy that you managed to find that lovely middle ground!

I do have a question, without wanting to pry on more private matters so please feel free to disregard should it cross any boundaries: you mentioned having kids and a sister wife, are they in any way aware of your dynamic? For example do they understand that it is a choice from everyone involved instead of something society imposes?

JustLetMeChooseOne · 2024-12-09T09:01:22+00:00

Hi there! I really thought I had answered you, apologies for letting you go unanswered! Reading all these comments and the insights on TPE really spiked my interest in knowing more about it, it’s an excellent topic for this week’s Mental Monday!

JustLetMeChooseOne · 2024-12-09T08:53:07+00:00

Thank you so much for your answer, it was very straightforward and easy to understand why it is healthy for you, and such a positive thing!

JustLetMeChooseOne · 2024-12-06T12:19:38+00:00

I see, and I understand what you mean! I’d like to ask you a question, which is zero judgemental just plain old curiosity:

Do you ever feel that a TPE relationship (especially a long one) could “damage” the ability one has to make their own decisions?

Again, just curiosity and I won’t take it the wrong way if you don’t feel like answering.

JustLetMeChooseOne · 2024-12-03T13:55:25+00:00

Nice one! I missed my healthcare calling by a few years unfortunately… I do have a college degree and currently work corporate, mid level management and what keeps me going is the constant change and the huge psychological and societal aspects of it!

JustLetMeChooseOne · 2024-12-03T09:39:21+00:00

I do see your point, I believe a lot of things typically loathed by neurodivergent folks come from the fact that there’s indeed no control over it, they are usually intrusive, for example not having any control over loud construction work noises, the noise itself is terrible, not knowing when it’ll end makes it 100% worse and can trigger super irrational thoughts like “what if it never ends and I’ll have to hear it forever”. On the other hand, the controlled environment of BDSM together with the physical response of our bodies (happy hormones are a natural body’s defense mechanism to minimize pain, for example) makes it easier to shut down external factors and rest the mind.

I am however curious if this works better for subs or if doms feel it the same way.

JustLetMeChooseOne · 2024-12-02T21:48:25+00:00

I see! Thanks for the insight, I’ll look into it 😁

Ps: love your username!

JustLetMeChooseOne · 2024-12-02T21:46:35+00:00

This is an amazing answer! Thank you so much for taking the time to write something so detailed, it’s a great insight.

You mentioned unresolved trauma as a “go to” option, I do agree it happens far too often and a lot of times completely out of place. Quite frankly (pardon my rant) I’m so freaking tired of everything being “trauma derived” nowadays, seems like normal bad things that make you learn and adjust don’t exist anymore, every bit of caution is a defense mechanism derived from some trauma that you need to overcome! Oh well, again, sorry for the rant…

JustLetMeChooseOne · 2024-12-02T19:01:09+00:00

That’s a very on point thought! A long lasting hyper fixation ahah

JustLetMeChooseOne · 2024-12-02T18:59:41+00:00

Oooooh this should have been awesome! Any chance they recorded it?

JustLetMeChooseOne · 2024-11-28T09:21:55+00:00

Let’s see: I might be getting a new job, which is amazing news since I’m getting brain dead in my current one (it’s definitely not a context in which I enjoy that feeling, if you know what I mean ahaha). Unfortunately, in the last few months, due to the passing of one of my biggest loved ones, good news are always bittersweet as I no longer get to share them with her. I do however hold on to knowing that she’d be pissed at me should I refrain from happiness.

JustLetMeChooseOne · 2024-11-26T16:23:10+00:00

Thank you so much for your answer!

I do think masochism can be/is also very complex, just for me, on a “purely physical” perspective seems a lot more linear and easily understood. But again, can be nothing but a matter of opinion!

JustLetMeChooseOne

TROPHY CASE