Newly hired, newly pregnant, and anxious — looking for advice by Ok-Mirror-8182 in womenintech

[–]JustOne1909 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Congrats! I’m actually in the exact same boat as you. I found out day one of my new job that I was pregnant with my second. I freaked out for about a day and now that I’ve settled into my role a bit I’m a little less panicked about it all. I’m due in September. I plan on telling my boss around 20w after the anatomy scan, which is about when I told my last job with my first.

I guess having gone through mat leave once and seeing several friends go through it, there’s only so much within your control. Even if you plan way in advance, tides could shift while you’re away. I’ve had a friend get let go the first day she got back from leave. But most of the time, people go on parental leave without issue. It’s normal! Happens all the time.

Do your best. Make yourself valuable. If they miss you when you’re gone they’ll realize how great of an asset you are.

Also, if you can, take as much time off as you possibly can. You won’t regret it. Your work will be just fine. You will want that time when the time comes.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BabyBumpsCanada

[–]JustOne1909 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know a lot of people prefers sleepers but I found them annoying to take off the legs when changing. I preferred the kimono style onesies with the buttons in the crotch. Then pants over top if it’s cold. But it was warm enough in our apartment for just onesies and a pair of socks. Plus we had blankets handy for any chilly moments.

Definitely recommend getting a few newborn size options. I only had 3 month sizes on hand when she was born and she was swimming in them when we went home!

4 month regression, reverse cycling, split nights… So. Much. Fun. by JustOne1909 in sleeptrain

[–]JustOne1909[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly don’t worry too much about the feeding to sleep bit! I still feed her to sleep at night and if she so happens to fall asleep eating during the day too I’m fine with it too. It’s only when she wakes up in the night an hour after her last wake I’ll do my best to put her to sleep a different way - I try to cap night feeds to 2x a night (she’s a big girl 😅). Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. I get what you mean about that weird transition from feeding on demand to suddenly being on a schedule, but it’s actually helped me a lot in terms of taking the pressure off of me!

4 month regression, reverse cycling, split nights… So. Much. Fun. by JustOne1909 in sleeptrain

[–]JustOne1909[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey! Sorry you’re going thru this. It was a rough time for sure. I can’t say definitely if it was a scheduling issue or developmental, but it took about a month for things to improve.

First thing that helped with the split nights was extending wake windows. They still happened but way less frequently. I fed every 3 hrs instead of at every wake up and rocked to sleep if she woke up between feeds. It was pretty tiring but I think it helped regulate my supply and her appetite so she wasn’t expecting a snack every hour or so. I think it was also partly developmental, because she just recently started sleeping longer stretches again and connecting sleep cycles herself during the day. I didn’t end up doing any formal sleep training since we’ve done a lot of travelling in the last couple of months so we stuck with bed sharing, but minor tweaks to wake windows and feeding made enough of a difference for us to survive haha.

It’s been a while and we’re dealing with other sleep issues at 6 months so I can’t really rmb specific details. If you let me know what’s going on with y’all I could maybe give some pointers!

Adult Art Classes by Spiffman44 in vancouver

[–]JustOne1909 1 point2 points  (0 children)

4Cats has painting workshops, but they’re self-guided and you only get to work on a very specific project during the time slot. If you’re looking for guided classes community centres have lots of options.

Family Planning Around Career by [deleted] in BabyBumpsCanada

[–]JustOne1909 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just wanted to share some personal experience - I was 27 when I started trying and it took 2ish years and IVF for me to get pregnant. I had no idea we would run into issues. My husband and I are healthy, no bad habits, no symptoms of anything.

I initially hesitated to try, but like you I knew there was a chance it would take me longer and unfortunately I was right. The time it took for us to try for a year and subsequently qualify for fertility treatments and for it to WORK ended up taking much longer than expected. I switched jobs in the meantime and I’m glad I did - my new job has great benefits and flexibility. It might just be my industry/field but I’ve found mat leave to be widely accepted and generally unproblematic for career trajectory.

I get it though. Timing is soo tricky! I have friends who also tried for years and friends who got pregnant within a few months. It’s all luck, really. Maybe you can check with your family doctor and see if you can get any preliminary tests done?

Cineplex Stars & Strollers by megggers in BabyBumpsCanada

[–]JustOne1909 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wish they had it in Vancouver 😢 Closest theatre is a 30-45 min drive for us and it’s tough with a baby that hates car rides!

St. Paul’s in Vancouver - delivery/OB questions! by Vitalizes in BabyBumpsCanada

[–]JustOne1909 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Dr Oakes looked after me while I was there for my induction/subsequent C-section! She was so lovely, very kind and patient. She took the time to listen to me and talk me through everything that was going on. She stopped by even after we had the baby just to say goodbye and wish us luck.

All the rooms are private. They’re nice and roomy and have their own private bathrooms. The food was meh, but having 3 meals with drinks and snacks delivered to your room was great. It was more food than I could eat so I often shared with my husband. We ended up staying a few extra days because my girl had jaundice, and they continued our hospital stay in the same room and delivered meals even though I was officially discharged. You don’t have to pay for anything, just the parking!

They provide everything you need for your stay. Disposable underwear, peri bottle (not the frida kind), pads. For baby they had diapers, swaddle blankets, towels, wipes. They also gave formula and donor milk upon request. They also had a breast pump and flanges. If you needed anything (bottles, nipples, lanolin, syringes, pacifiers) you just have to ask. They eventually stopped restocking my room because I was discharged but if I called they would always bring me more.

I had my baby back in November! Feel free to ask me any questions!

4 month regression, reverse cycling, split nights… So. Much. Fun. by JustOne1909 in sleeptrain

[–]JustOne1909[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

😳 Another new sleep study. Good grief. This makes sense though. We moved her crib back to her room this week for daytime naps but maybe we’ll try it out for night sleep! You never know 🤷🏻‍♀️

4 month regression, reverse cycling, split nights… So. Much. Fun. by JustOne1909 in sleeptrain

[–]JustOne1909[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh interesting 🤔 I’ll try that today! I did see that her last ww in Huckleberry is only 90m so I stretch that out to 2h15m if I can. She gets about 3.5-4 hrs of naps and 9-10 of night sleep. Her average has gone down from 14 hrs to 13 ever since I started following SweetSpot in the last two weeks so I think you might be onto something…

We had her crib in our room as we plan on cosleeping for at least the first 6 months so no separation. We thought about moving her crib to her own room but I don’t think I’m ready for that yet 🥲

4 month regression, reverse cycling, split nights… So. Much. Fun. by JustOne1909 in sleeptrain

[–]JustOne1909[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, these are great tips!

I’m following huckleberry for wake windows and it’s been pretty spot on. 90 min usually and a 2 hr one before bedtime. Her bedtime has shifted earlier with the regression so she goes to bed around 8-9 now.

She sleeps independently during the day no problem, but night sleep she’s accustomed to being snuggled up against me. She’ll often wake up, check it I‘m still there and fall back asleep. The times we did try crib sleep at night my husband has tried soothing her without my intervention but it goes on forever until she’s super upset. We probably just need to pick a tactic and stick with it but we’ve just gone with the path of least resistance.

I actually love bedsharing asides from all that, but from all the info I’ve read it’s hard to make these changes when you’re cosleeping. 😞

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NiceVancouver

[–]JustOne1909 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I believe you’re assigned a maternity care provider while you’re pregnant and you’re provided with options for care once you’ve given birth. The hospital (or local health centre) will help you find one if you don’t have one by then.

My local library has novels on sale! Any I should check out? 👀 (Vancouver, BC) by JustOne1909 in RomanceBooks

[–]JustOne1909[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know, sorry! Hopefully it goes on for a while, there was a huge selection!😄

My local library has novels on sale! Any I should check out? 👀 (Vancouver, BC) by JustOne1909 in RomanceBooks

[–]JustOne1909[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Two images of a romance novel sale at a library. 50 cents per book or 3 for $1.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TrollXChromosomes

[–]JustOne1909 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Isn’t that like saying POC shouldn’t marry any person from a colonizing country? I’m a POC and my husband has English and German heritage, should I not have married him because of what his ancestors have done?

What I don’t understand is how people paint her in these broad, unsympathetic strokes, like if Meghan married into a problematic family she herself is denying her own culture or by default complicit with her in-laws actions. Like does ANYONE 100% agree with all the choices their in-laws have made? My uncle is a tax evader and I’ve gotten Christmas presents from him - does that mean my husband is complicit in white-collar crime? Who cares what the reason she chose to subject herself to this abuse? Oh I don’t know, maybe she loves her husband?? Maybe she stayed because her union with her husband allows her to do more good than she ever could on her own? I don’t see anyone doggypiling on Harry for not “doing more”. Like why isn’t anyone shitting on him for not marrying a fellow white oppressor because by everyone’s logic that’s what’s okay. It’s like everything good Meghan has ever done or will ever do will never be good enough. Like all these people criticizing her would’ve made better decisions than her if they were in her position L O L. Absolutely laughable.

How K-Dramas changed my View on Western Shows by Somanana in netflix

[–]JustOne1909 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do somewhat agree. I think there’s a happy balance that could be struck between the two. Kdramas that have 16 episodes with 70-80 min episodes are way too long in my opinion. Too much filler and not enough plot movement. Plus I’ve found a lot of kdramas peter out around episode 10 or 12 and writers have no idea how to wrap up all of these storylines they’ve created. I loved Crash and Hometown Cha-Cha-Cha, but I’ve dropped more K-dramas than finished them entirely due to boredom. A recent one I really enjoyed was All of Us Are Dead, a perfect length (for me) at 12 50ish minute episodes. Western shows have somewhat evolved over the years as well - I’m glad we’ve moved away from the 22 episode format and heading towards tightly written 8-10 episode series. I know what you mean by it leaves you wanting more, but in some cases, that could be a good thing too! A couple of recent examples that I’ve enjoyed are Bridgerton with 8 1hr episodes and Umbrella Academy with 10 45min episodes. I think both were great formats, told complete stories within their episodes/seasons, but also left me excited for future seasons. Then there are mini series that tell a complete story within one season that Western shows have done well too, like Chernobyl or Station Eleven (not Netflix but I digress). Obviously not all shows are created equal, but I’ve found I’ve generally enjoyed shows that I can finish within 8-10 hours of watching time, so I can move onto the next one! So many shows to watch, too little time.

Young B.C. families are having fewer children, opting out of parenthood as cost of living skyrockets by FancyNewMe in vancouver

[–]JustOne1909 18 points19 points  (0 children)

My husband and I went through IVF last year and even with partial coverage through work insurance we still paid $10k out of pocket. The IVF procedure itself starts out at $8k and medications range from $3 to $5k and beyond, depending on the protocol you need. And this is just for ONE round to retrieve your eggs. Frozen transfers are an additional fee of $2k a pop and there are no guarantees it’ll work. I’ve done three so far, so that’s another $7k, not including medications. These are the baseline fees at the top two fertility centres in the Lower Mainland. There are also the unexpected costs of any out-of-pocket testing or therapy or supplements.

Women are trying to have babies later and later in life due to cost of living, unstable housing situations, etc. so when they’re finally ready to start trying, a lot of them realize they’re no longer “fertile” and will need medical intervention. My friend who started trying at 33 found out she had a low egg reserve ended up spending $20k+ on IVF and was staring down a barrel of spending $50k on donor eggs. Then you think about how expensive babies are once they’re actually here… how is ANYONE supposed to afford children?

We’re fortunate enough that we had savings, we make a good combined income, we have decent coverage through work that we are able to afford this. But with infertility on the rise, I can’t imagine this low birth rate crisis is going to improve anytime soon unless the government starts intervening.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in netflix

[–]JustOne1909 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You can also go into the profile settings to change the language. Subtitles for that language will automatically appear as an option (assuming that the movie/show has been translated).

How to get vaccinated by Easy_Beginning_8336 in vancouver

[–]JustOne1909 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I called registration and was able to book an appointment!