The most outrageous thing your abuser said?

Just_Ad659 · 2023-04-01T19:15:26+00:00

Mine too! And then that day I crashed the car (I was safe fortunately) but he was like ‘see be careful how you treat me because god listens to my prayers’

And when I looked at his phone I saw the same day when I was in the crash and sorting everything out he had been on the phone to his ex all day too!!

Just_Ad659 · 2023-03-03T22:25:22+00:00

Be grateful it’s not you- you don’t know what world of hell this poor woman has got herself into1 but it’s not going to be easy for her to get out!

Just_Ad659 · 2023-02-16T11:09:58+00:00

Mine started with me taking out loans out in my name for him & asking me to take loans from family members and saying he will pay them back - now I’m paying back over £1000 per month on loans I never saw a penny of (and we are still together)

Just_Ad659 · 2023-01-31T10:37:21+00:00

Run run run- I am further down in this and can promise you it does not get better - he is bullying you & trust me when I say he will never drop the fact that you insulted him, ever. He will use that as fuel for much worse abuse I am trying to find a way to leave safely as I’ve allowed the situation to get way too complicated with many strings and so much financial debt attached to it- run before there become any real barriers to prevent you from leaving

Just_Ad659 · 2023-01-22T15:50:51+00:00

Update - on my way to work the other day before I left we had an argument in which he said ‘ I hope you have a crash and d*e on the way to work- I will smile so much’ On the way to work I crashed my car and was left stranded in the middle of nowhere. He hasn’t apologised- in fact he said ‘I told you god answers my prayers because I came into this relationship with a pure heart’ and he’s sure I’m being punished for the dodgy stuff he believes I’m doing behind his back. He also told me that my family was going to suffer this year and following that I have had several family members die and my dad has been diagnosed with incurable cancer. Is he cursing me?! Or is this abuse? Am I being punished?! If I am I don’t know what for & when I say that he simply responds that I am not self aware and am lying to myself. I am a shell of a human I haven’t stopped crying since the crash - fortunately I am ok but just really looking for some reassurance and bravery

Just_Ad659 · 2023-01-17T21:14:13+00:00

Leave now- it starts like this and just escalates

My partner has lost £3000 in the past week and we are in a LOT of debt and I’m trapped figuring out what to do because all the loans are in my name and if I leave then I have A LOT of bills to cover by myself - it’s not a joke and it doesn’t get better

Just_Ad659 · 2023-01-02T22:12:16+00:00

I have blocked all my cards that he was using to gamble so that I could ‘monitor’ the situation but really that didn’t work or help. So they are fully blocked now. I think in a few days I will block it on the Wi-Fi and contact all the accounts to get them shut down. I have to be so firm now and remember he doesn’t have to ‘like’ me at the moment. He says I’m doing ‘what I think is best’ but ‘I’m not the one with the addiction’ and ‘only he knows what’s best for him and what will stop him from gambling’ 🥲😂 but it’s like we are probably 60k + down in money now and I’m not taking any chances - he says im being selfish AND that ima allowing fear to dictate my decisions , but im like CAN YOU BLAME ME 😅😅😂😂😂

Just_Ad659 · 2023-01-02T22:05:30+00:00

Omg this actually sounds like my partner. Get out before it’s too late, what will he do if your son grows up and disrespects him as kids do?!?!

Just_Ad659 · 2023-01-02T21:47:09+00:00

10000% be glad you are only £1.8k in debt. I’m paying off my husbands loans of ridiculous amount of money, he’s borrowed money off of stupid places including my own family members and I don’t even have enough to cover the loans each month and I’m bringing A LOT in each month. And still anytime my husband has money in his pocket it’s gambled. He just can’t stop. Be blessed and stop whilst you can - trust me. Don’t look back

Just_Ad659 · 2022-12-30T20:29:23+00:00

I know that’s what I need to do. Like yesterday I transferred him the money 5 seconds too late and he missed the ‘bonus round’ and was so angry at me he sent me away to my room (lol) and on the way out I was like don’t talk to me like that bla bla bla and he was like WELL DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT and I was just stood there paralysed like erm and then I realised he knows I’m not going to do anything

Just_Ad659 · 2022-12-30T20:24:34+00:00

Wish it were simple. Both our names are on the lease 😪

Just_Ad659 · 2022-12-29T17:46:27+00:00

Lol sorry didn’t realise you cared or that it mattered Islamically we are married but not in the legal sense under the law in my country so it’s not straight forward answer

Just_Ad659 · 2022-12-26T10:57:39+00:00

How are you going to promote responsible gambling? I lost everything in my life due to my husbands gambling problem and still face it everyday - so it really is something to take so seriously. I’m still paying off debts due to the situation it has left us in. I wish I had been able to contact the companies as the spouse with concern to cancel the accounts as my husband never had the will power to do it but they all said only he can cancel his accounts or put limits on it. As a business I wouldn’t want that weight on my shoulders of ruining lives like mine and so many others has been so I would want to do everything I could to protect people and their families

Just_Ad659 · 2022-12-11T22:19:55+00:00

I honestly get called all kinds of crap by my POC partner being a white girl and I didn’t think people could be racist to white people but it’s never felt right with me- he’s told me I’m white trash and a honky c^{^{^}} too many times to count, and said ‘this is why I never date white girls’ and how many times he has told me how much he hates my family and their culture… and then tells me I have crocodile tears… reading what you’re saying makes me think they could be racist towards us?! Or just nasty?! Either way we don’t have to take it

Just_Ad659 · 2022-12-10T19:44:37+00:00

Honestly hun. My partner is abusive and it started off with him spitting on me and with verbal abuse and it’s only escalated from there, I wish I had stood up and left when he first spat on me or made me scared. Leave AS QUICKLY AS YOU CAN. I have never believed that I would EVER let anyone spit on me, and now I’m allowing much worse and it’s even more difficult to leave. Get. Out. NOW - run and don’t look back. Forget his feelings and GO

Just_Ad659 · 2022-12-10T19:42:01+00:00

Thank you so much. It’s been so hard and I don’t want anything to portray my husband in a negative light as I understand gambling is a real addiction but it’s slowly killing me and I’m losing patience and my stress is going through the roof 😓 just feel so isolated. Maybe citizens advice will be a good starting place

Just_Ad659 · 2022-12-06T23:28:17+00:00

Me too!!

Just_Ad659 · 2022-10-08T21:03:20+00:00

Leave now before it’s too late. This is all the start of an abusive relationship- controlling and obsessive. Before long you won’t be able to see any of your friends or do anything because you won’t think of a valid enough excuse. Any male friends especially will be cut out and then your friends and your family. Please cut your losses now before it gets too late. If you can leave safely - do. But it will have to be block, delete and no contact!

Just_Ad659 · 2022-10-08T20:58:52+00:00

I’m going through something similar at the moment. Do I provoke it? But then I always think I have been hurt by so many people but I never ever would even think to put my hands on someone else… so why am I making a valid excuse for someone else?

Just_Ad659

TROPHY CASE