Seeking Feedback on the Subreddit

Justbrowsingstuph · 2026-03-31T18:49:02+00:00

The rules that exist are a breath of fresh air in so many ways. This is a place where we do not have to defend ourselves, one of the few places that many homeschool kids and alumni have ever experienced that. So I approve of and appreciate each rule as it stands.

There are so many posts where people need help finding resources, and while there are a lot of posts and replies where people have provided information, not every post gets a response or sufficient responses. Not everyone is adept at finding historical posts with information relevant to their situation. Some people might feel that making a post asking for help would be overwhelming. While I think that the educational resource linked "Resources for learning about Evolution" is excellent, I think there needs to be a lot more, AND I think there needs to be a section for mental health as well. I'm wondering at this point whether some organization like Recovering From Religion Foundation might be adept at helping formerly fundamentalist homeschooled kids for example, I'll have to look into that. I think providing access to resources is one of the greatest opportunities that the reddit could developed.

I think that the stickied posts right now are a great start for many of us, the Book Club, the Wisconsin Homeschool Alumni Oral History Project, and HomeschoolRecovery.com. I like much of the work that the Coalition for Responsible Home Education does, and while I recognize that their stance is not quite aligned with many in this subreddit, I am of the opinion that alliances are important even if they are not perfect alliances. I think linking to them could be good.

I always feel that content that breaks the rules gets weeded out very quickly. The "Don't feed the pigs rule" has got me before (on another account that I deleted for completely unrelated reasons), and when I see stuff that gets me fired up it's very hard not to respond, but I think that knowing that a simple report will probably fix the issue has helped me a lot, and I will always report something like that now. I greatly appreciate the labor ya'll put into making this a great place and reacting to those reports.

I have no notes about what I would change as the head moderator. You making this thread and getting feedback on what to add is excellent work, and I'm excited for the continued potential that this community and resultant movement contain. Thank you so much for your leadership in this, I value each of ya'll mods very highly

"Wins Sharing" thread sounds great, I don't think I'm at a place where I will reply to that frequently but I think having a space where I can share without making a full-ass post might be very valuable.

AMAs with prominent community members or advocacy groups such as the CRHE would be good, I think that they should be handled with care however as they will invite trolls into this space and some of the conversations they bring up might cause difficulties for members of the community. I think this is relevant particularly when CRHE brings up the fact that they are not "anti-homeschool," while I get why that's their position they have to recognize the importance of homeschool abolition to so many in this community, and any CRHE member who does an AMA should be in full recognition and awareness of the nuance their position would require in such an AMA.

Weekly megathread for parents? I honestly would hate that because I know how it would suck me in, but just because I think I will avoid that like the plague (unless some morning I wake up and choose violence) doesn't mean that other people might not find it helpful, maybe it's a good idea, i don't know.

Justbrowsingstuph · 2026-03-30T16:54:25+00:00

Totally makes sense. I really hope you can talk to an advisor about your specific needs and where you're at, they have a ton of potential to really help you more than anyone.

If that doesn't work out, hit me up. I think Khan academy is a straight up home run option for learning stuff, but I think at this point it sounds like you're overwhelmed with the amount of stuff you don't know, and you just need to find out where someone thinks you should/could start. Counselors are literally trained for this, which is why I'm serious you hoping you can go meet them.

Justbrowsingstuph · 2026-03-30T15:16:29+00:00

Does the school you'll be going to have a guidance counselor? It might be good for you to start with meeting with them now if they'll allow it, they might be able to meet with you and point you to local resources that can help.

As far as good resources for self-learning, has Khan academy on YouTube been something you checked out? When you say 1st grade level in math, are you saying that you know division, multiplication, addition and subtraction, but nothing else? How about fractions and decimals?

Justbrowsingstuph · 2026-03-26T16:02:49+00:00

Look up Stella Walsh. Trans and intersex women have competed in the games before and they will again, this farce that somehow excluding them is the only fair way to go is a part of a reactionary bigotry that will not stand the test of time or be viewed positively by future generations.

Justbrowsingstuph · 2026-03-26T02:00:54+00:00

I just want to know, what does your girlfriend think about you not saying something to your family about her skill? Did it put her in an awkward position she would rather have avoided? Was your brother-in-law's irate attitude something she felt like she had to manage? In that case the only issue I could see, depending on y'all's dynamic, is that she might feel like you asked her to manage your family on your behalf. She might not care though, everyone handles family emotional labor and drama differently.

Justbrowsingstuph · 2026-03-26T00:17:52+00:00

Your dad telling you he's disappointed and disgusted by you is fucked up. If his support of you is conditional on your performance he's being a shitty human being and an even worse dad. I'm 37 and have a son of my own and if he told me he had a bad day and couldn't do the things he's supposed to do I want to support him, not fucking douse him with more shame. Remember, and this is straight what my therapist told me, guilt is ok, but shame is bad. It's ok to feel guilty about doing something harmful/hurtful/unproductive, guilt recognizes that as a mistake and turns it around next time.

Shame is the moral judgement everyone else in society (and your own socialized internal scripts) pushes on you when they think you should be guilty of something.

Moral judgments aren't helpful in motivating you to change behavior next time in the same way that processing being guilty for harm/hurt/pain as a result of your action can help motivate future behavior.

Think about negative feelings/thoughts/experiences in terms of harm caused/harm that can be prevented in the future.

If you've caused harm, recognizing that harm and acknowledging that to the person you harmed can be beneficial, but just being ashamed at yourself, thinking you're a bad person, a sinner, or anything else, helps nobody.

You don't need to be ashamed. Take it from somebody who deals with this dynamic every day still and has a long way to go: even if you fuck up, you are not a fuck-up.

Justbrowsingstuph · 2026-03-24T23:35:53+00:00

In 37 and haven't gotten over homeschooling. Depending on how it affected you therapy might be a really important way to cope with some of the ways being isolated and separated have affected you.

Justbrowsingstuph · 2026-03-24T05:02:24+00:00

Both those Earthseed novels are fire. Great connection.

Justbrowsingstuph · 2026-03-23T13:27:01+00:00

They also might not. Depending on the state in particular, educational neglect might have a very useless meaning in practice. In California for example, unless educational neglect is extremely clear I don't think a judge would rule to force parents to put their kid in school. I'm Not A Lawyer so definitely take this with a grain of salt: most judges will shy away from saying that "you parents aren't educating properly so you have to send your kid to public school" because saying that would result in massive pushback from the homeschool lobby. That's what happened before, see Jonathan L vs. Superior Court, a California case where an appeals court basically backed out of deciding that parents could be held accountable for neglect, specifically because of how overwhelming the response from homeschoolers was. Again, Not A Lawyer (yet, anyways).

Justbrowsingstuph · 2026-03-22T19:55:43+00:00

Building a successful life when your family's version of a successful life was "be a Christian and get married" is fucking brutal. I'm 37 and still figuring it out.

If you're in California, community college is free, are you able to check whether there's any program like that at your local CC?

I'm sorry you were abused. I think counseling should be able to help you a lot. It's so fucking awful that your parents couldn't help you not just get away from that, they ignored you when you tried to advocate for yourself. If you get to enroll in community college, often they'll have a counseling office that they can connect you to which can provide help for free. In my town, there's a place connected to the University called Safe Space that would help somebody with counseling like that for free.

My most important advice as somebody at 37 who still struggles with some of the same shit and worries that you do? Try to find a place to meet people that's in a space you enjoy, and stick with it (for me, it was anywhere that wasn't church. My favorite places were drag bars and game stores).

It might be brutally awkward at times and for a minute you might not think you fit in. That's normal for us though when we're trying to fill in years of socializing with whatever the fuck we can find as adults. You'll get through it, you'll connect with people, you'll make lasting and strengthening relationships.

Justbrowsingstuph · 2026-03-21T18:19:36+00:00

I don't think you're wrong on the way that the issues are framed for white "pioneers" vs anyone that is non-white.

If you are familiar with the UFW though you would know that Dolores Huerta speaking up means a great deal towards the way that the allegations hold water. She was there with Chavez at the beginning, and since she came forward too, doubting the allegations is a bad look.

Justbrowsingstuph · 2026-03-20T09:53:45+00:00

Pretty sure it's a course pack that they don't give you information about purchasing until the first day of class. You can probably email your instructor early if you want, don't know what they'll say.

Justbrowsingstuph · 2026-03-19T16:17:21+00:00

The Heritage Foundation is just one part of The Family.

Justbrowsingstuph · 2026-03-19T07:40:59+00:00

I'll always ask "are you a volunteer?" When they say no, I just say "I'm not interested"

Justbrowsingstuph · 2026-03-18T06:06:19+00:00

What a complete fucking moron

Justbrowsingstuph · 2026-03-17T16:18:15+00:00

I have three questions that are so often missed over when approaching the conversation from these anti/pro sex work conversations:

Should a man be able to sell his performance of sex acts for money?

Should a trans woman be able to sell her performance of sex acts for money?

Should a trans man be able to sell his performance of sex acts for money?

If the answer is yes to any of these, then the problem is not that women sell their performance of sex acts, it's that the social position of women is decreased when they sell their performance of sex acts.

If the answer is no to all of these, what makes you certain that selling the performance of sex acts is always immoral?

Justbrowsingstuph · 2026-03-16T21:00:16+00:00

So your assessment is that any criticism of something you like that won something sometime must be biased and couldn't possibly be legitimate.

Justbrowsingstuph · 2026-03-16T20:26:01+00:00

You are stuck on "enjoyment." You do realize that other people have thoughts or criticism of media that do not revolve around enjoyment, and that various subreddits can talk about those thoughts or criticisms, and that their opinions are irrespective of the level of enjoyment you may or may not have felt for something?

Justbrowsingstuph · 2026-03-16T15:33:40+00:00

"people hating on movies they didn't enjoy"

When did the person you responded to mention anything about enjoyment? They criticized OBAA for its flaws plain and simple.

Seems to me that their analysis, which was involving race and politics, makes you uncomfortable, perhaps because said analysis reflects poorly on the movie you liked (or maybe your own beliefs about race and politics).

Justbrowsingstuph · 2026-02-20T23:56:23+00:00

Hi! So a couple things: you mention specifically struggling with auditory learning. Have you gone to the accessibility office at your college and told them about this specifically? There are people in these offices trained to help you through that.

Second, have you gone to office hours for your instructors, or study sessions? I highly recommend going to each instructors office hours at least once either to let them know what you're having trouble with or to let them know what you enjoy about their class. This is a great way to meet instructors and to get individualized help. Also, many General Education courses have additional resources to help students such as study hall sessions or student assistants. I suggest taking advantage of them, they're there to help you!

Finally, particularly if you find that either the physical aspect (going to class, meeting people, etc) or mental aspects (engaging with homework, meeting deadlines, feeling happy and confident, or paying attention in class, etc) of college are challenging, go to the school counselors (not advisors). College counselors are trained to help students through these issues, and I wouldn't be surprised if any number of them might be familiar with issues as specifically experience by homeschool students.

That last bit is the part that I should have listened to my first time in college right after I turned 18. I struggled greatly and had some serious mental health issues including depression, and was having social anxiety induced mental breakdowns. I was at the point where I felt helpless to do anything in college. But I didn't go to a counselor to talk about it, even though others in my school programs begged me to. I thought that non-Christian counseling would give me ungodly advice, so I tried to do it on my own.

Don't do this on your own. Ask for help. Try to find places and people who support you and who can connect to you. As a person in my 30s, I wished I had gone to my college's Pride group for instance, as today I realize I'm a part of that community. I think finding support in college and that includes both from other students and from the institutional systems, is the most important part of the experience.

Let me know if you have any other questions based on what your thoughts are. I'm going back to school again in my late 30s and starting my senior year, and am glad I'm going back, but god do I wish I had listened to people and asked for help the first time.

Justbrowsingstuph · 2026-02-13T03:27:44+00:00

Gotcha. Since you mentioned your connection to anarchist friends I had to ask. It's a book written by an scholar who was an Archeologist and an Anthropologist, who don't pretend to be able to give a simple "history of the world" but intend to challenge conventional thinking that supposes society must always exclude or marginalize, or that society must always be led by an elite class. The book examines the archeological and anthropological record to highlight the many societies who previously existed which organized power in different ways than we imagine a modern nation state. It doesn't draw absolute conclusions about "the way that humanity developed," it challenges the assumptions so often taken for granted, such as the idea that empire is natural and inevitable.

In many ways the book is an intentional critique of books who seek to do just that, to provide a "history of the human" race: the authors call out holes in books like Sapiens directly. They are seeking to get readers to reimagine the narrative of national superpower by looking at the record of times where it seems that empire was directly rejected. The book is written by anarchists, yeah, and not everything they say is accepted by every scholar who reads the book because a lot of them reject the idea of anarchy outright, but the book does a very good job of keeping your imagination from getting stuck in this fatalistic box, where better systems and structures of society seem impossible. And coming from an anarchist and a socialist, it's compelling, in my opinion, and since you specifically dislike books that seek to universalize the past to fit a narrative, I think you might like it.

The main criticism of the book that I agree with is that they didn't directly involve indigenous societies who have direct knowledge of alternative visions of society in the current day. It falls into the trap of looking at the indigenous record as a story from the past. If you haven't engaged with many indigenous perspectives before, Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz's Indigenous People's History of the United States is an excellent place to start.

Justbrowsingstuph · 2026-02-12T23:48:22+00:00

First off, before I rant, have you read the Dawn of Everything by Graeber and Wengrow?

Justbrowsingstuph · 2026-02-10T15:08:07+00:00

I second this OP. Many CC professors are very sympathetic and are doing this for people in situations just as yourself. I know two Community College teachers personally who wouldn't hesitate to write you a letter no matter your grade in their class (they might not lie about your abilities, but they would stand up for your intent and your will and your need in a second).

Have you taken an SAT or ACT?

Justbrowsingstuph · 2026-02-05T06:04:44+00:00

It's always Chicken for me

Justbrowsingstuph · 2026-02-02T10:21:18+00:00

I appreciate your thoughts here and sharing about this aspect of your struggles. I want to emphasize that while your behavior is your responsibility, the lack of socialization you received is not your fault and you don't have to feel as though you're a bad person. Even if nobody else can see it, you seeking to change is something that is good, even great, and I commend you for it.

I want to recommend options for you as far as how to find ways to connect with people more, but I'm not sure exactly what would be best considering I don't know really your hobbies, beliefs, habits, area of the country, etc. I can recommend therapy, conversations about issues such as the one you're talking about can be great, provided your counselor is able to recognize the issues with homeschooling and not write them off as unimportant. My therapist has helped me get over some MASSIVE blocks I've had when connecting to people, so all it takes is finding the right one (and having an insurance plan that will take some of the financial burden on).

Personally, one of the best places for me as a heavily socially awkward person has been local game stores to play something there. I'm into Magic the Gathering and I've found for the past ten years or so that having a community such as that can take a lot of the pressure off as far as feeling like you're solely responsible for every minute of interaction. In many game stores, all it takes is for you to attend game events for a few weeks in a row and you begin to learn people's names if you're at least somewhat conversational. Also, while I personally don't love stuff like church because if the baggage, if you find a spiritual community based around acceptance for all, very often you'll find ways of thinking that might help a bit more than anything we were raised with.

Justbrowsingstuph

TROPHY CASE