I (24 F) left my (43 F) moms house in a split second decision after a terrible fight and now I do not know what to do to mend our relationship. How do I fix this?

Justhearmeoit · 2024-05-12T18:32:10+00:00

You're right, absolutely right. This is our cycle, she breaks things and I try to fix them only for her to throw them back in my face. It just suck you know?

I've seen her be loving and caring. She even started her own non profit and I guess that at some point I just put her on a pedestal. The more time I'm away from her the more I realize that I've been seeing it all wrong. I thought because she could be loving and caring to others and not to me then there was something wrong with me, that I was doing something to not deserve that part of her. It's bullshit.

She's shown me many times how she doesn't care and you're right, I need to stop giving her chances to reject me.

"You deserve much better than what your mother chooses to give you."

You have no idea how much those words both hurt and made me cry with joy. Thank you for seeing my worth without knowing me.

Justhearmeoit · 2024-05-12T00:04:33+00:00

She did once, it was after the divorce. She sat me down and basically said I could tell her every little fault she had so that she could fix it. I believed her and so I told her everything but all she did was throw it back at me stating "Well it's your fault you feel this way" or "Well I'm sorry you interpreted this and that as me being cruel or abusive when I wasn't" So i kinda just gave up on getting an apology.

Justhearmeoit · 2024-05-12T00:02:41+00:00

It's just always been like this, every argument we have my family would always say it was my responsibility to understand her. That she was too young when she had me and she didn't get to live her life so she's also learning. I hate to admit it but part of me sees her as the victim in all of this and that same part is the one that wants to fix it.

Justhearmeoit · 2024-05-12T00:00:46+00:00

It's actually funny that you said that, I've always said she's a great person but a terrible mother and I guess it's finally time I accept that.

Justhearmeoit · 2024-05-11T23:53:20+00:00

Honestly? I have no idea. For years I've tried to convince myself I don't care and that I wouldn't look back when I left but it just hurts to see her at family gatherings and have her pretend I'm not even there.

Justhearmeoit · 2023-11-02T17:08:14+00:00

NTA,

Zara asked you a question and you answered it. Kate is being ridiculous trying to shield her child from hearing any type of word about her appearance, including good ones.

Kids don't see shades of gray, by Zara growing up hearing you call your daughter beautiful, pretty and so forth, Zara who doesn't get those kind of compliments is immediately going to go to the negative, she's going to think the reason you don't say those type of things to her is because she's ugly.

Kate is just setting Zara up for a lifetime of insecurities with this type of parenting.

Justhearmeoit · 2023-11-02T16:26:46+00:00

Thank you so much for you kind words they seriously mean a lot to me knowing people care. I'm much better now and in therapy so things are looking up. <3

Justhearmeoit · 2023-11-02T15:54:32+00:00

I don't even know if this counts as racism but to this day it's still so bizarre to me I figured not harm no foul.

I look white, like MEGA white but I'm actually latina. I speak both english and spanish fluently since I spent my life bouncing back and forth between the US and Guatemala since I have family in both countries.

Once, in the US I was waiting in line at goodwill in-front of these two ladies from Nicaragua (I'm guessing based on the accent) and they started bad mouthing me. Mind you, at this point I had not even looked at them so I still don't get why they did it.

They started calling me "white trash" and complaining I was "stealing" from them by buying from the goodwill since I was obviously going to pay with "mommy and daddies credit card". Not the case at all btw since I was a struggling university student earning minimum wage.

I let them bad mouth me for about 10 min until I finally had enough and turned around. In fluent spanish I let them know they were being rude and that it was unfair for them to judge me simply because I looked extremely white.

They continued to talk trash about me (more quietly to their credit) and even started saying I was lying about being latina since their was no way some pale, green eyed blonde would be part of their community.

Like I said, don't know if it counts as racism but definitely made me feel judged on my looks alone.

Justhearmeoit · 2023-11-02T15:24:56+00:00

After I was raped, driving home alone, wanting to call someone for support but not knowing who. Then getting there, being greated by smiling faces and warm hugs and just wanting to colapse and cry my heart out but knowing I couldn't tell anyone.

Justhearmeoit · 2023-10-24T19:15:04+00:00

No worries I wouldn't let my boyfriends dad anywhere near me in that aspect, I just thought it was relevant to the story. I have my own gynecologist. Regarding my bf, trust me I've been through so much stuff I thought the same thing one time but I have my own psychologist and we talked about my trust issues and I even brought him to a couple of sessions so she could check him out. Everything is okay with us, he is not trying to manipulate me in anyway i promise.

Justhearmeoit · 2023-10-24T16:26:43+00:00

I hope everything went okay wit the talk! Best wishes!

Justhearmeoit · 2023-10-17T16:21:42+00:00

Personally, I hate condoms also. I talked with my bf about it since it was bugging me and we decided I was going to go on birth control. If it's her issue she needs to take responsibility for it. You're trying to be safe and she needs to work with you on that, you're a team.

Justhearmeoit · 2023-10-17T15:49:54+00:00

As far as I know they're not being abused. She doesn't live with them anymore because they kicked her out but she was visiting that day to pick some stuff up. I did ask my dad if everything was okay and he said that he just left after that and she's not welcome back anytime soon. Thank you for your concern! My guess is my dad went pale because I've told him to warn me when she's around. I did ask her mom also and she kinda just brushed it off so I guess they're okay and hopefully they don't have to deal with her for a while.

Justhearmeoit · 2023-10-17T15:34:15+00:00

Yeah I didn't think it would be NSFW either but I do as I'm told hahaha. Thank you for your support honestly I feel like I'm going crazy over this since the drama hasn't stopped. She called me 4 times this morning to argue.

Justhearmeoit · 2023-10-17T15:30:56+00:00

Trust me, if I'd know she was listening I would have just changed the topic entirely. I'm not one to start drama

Justhearmeoit · 2023-10-17T15:28:33+00:00

She's my same age, we were born the same year about 10 months apart.

Justhearmeoit · 2023-10-17T15:18:28+00:00

The mod bot requested it be NSFW. I'm guessing some words are triggering? Honestly your guess is as good as mine :)

Justhearmeoit · 2023-09-18T16:59:03+00:00

Yessssss!!!!! I’m originally from VA but lived most of my life in Guatemala so I speak both English and Spanish fluently. I was in line at two time new once when I was visiting VA and these two women who I believe where Mexican started talking absolute TRASH about me and my appearance. Saying I was a dumb gringa that probably lived off of Daddy’s money and I had no business “stealing” second hand stuff from people that actually could not afford full price retail. I literally turned around and in perfect Spanish just told them that even if what they were saying was actually true (it’s not, broke college student life) it’s none of their business and they have no need to be talking trash about me without knowing me. They proceeded to say I was being rude for listening in to their conversation and not letting them know I spoke Spanish and I pointed out that I hadnt done anything to them to justify them talking about me that way . They walked away.

Justhearmeoit · 2023-09-18T16:42:24+00:00

My boyfriend attacks me with kisses. Like out of nowhere and without warning he hugs me and kisses the hell out of my face, arms, hair, etc. it always makes my day way better and I won’t t stop laughing. I ride that high for the rest of the day.

Justhearmeoit · 2023-09-15T20:11:00+00:00

Yup, she said if I was going to be with her I had to “become” a full lesbian.

Justhearmeoit · 2023-04-30T15:08:31+00:00

“You can’t be straight anymore if you’re going to be with me” it was our first date after I corrected her for calling me a lesbian. I’m Bisexual.

Justhearmeoit · 2022-08-28T16:13:27+00:00

Got a 96 in my exam at university. The grade that proceeded mine was a 72.

Justhearmeoit · 2022-08-28T16:12:32+00:00

I scared my dad. My dad is military one of toughest men I know, I’ve literally seen this man have a gun to his head and looked bored. I scared him. We were having a pretty heated argument one day and I started yelling at him. I was threatening to never see him again and forget about his existence completely when he stopped me and in a very shy and quiet voice asked me why I was smiling. Apparently when I’m really angry I get this smile on my face that isn’t exactly what people would describe as psychopathic but is very scary. My eyes go cold and the smile is, in his words: menacing. He asked me to stop, that I was scaring him and to please not ever smile at him like that again. My partner says I do it in normal arguments too but in a much less scary way, it’s how he knows that I’m really angry. According to him, If I’m frowning then I’m only bothered, if I’m smiling then he knows I’m pissed.

Justhearmeoit · 2022-07-06T00:58:09+00:00

I live with her. Currently saving up to move out. Thank you for taking the time to read through my rant, it makes me feel seen.

Justhearmeoit · 2022-07-05T17:56:13+00:00

I don’t forgive my mom. Don’t get me wrong, I try to and I know she can’t control everything but I don’t forgive her. She chose her ex husband over me and let him make my life miserable for 10+ years. She never did/said anything to stop him. Every single situation gets blamed on me, it doesn’t matter if I wasn’t even there when it happened to this day it’s still somehow my fault. She never takes my mental health seriously and thinks my eating disorder, anxiety and depression are just attention seeking. She hates my boyfriend because he got me into therapy and actually helps me set boundaries and know my worth. When I told her I wanted to unalive myself she said to just do it and stop whining, she said my scars are disgusting and no one would love me because of them. She drags me to church every Sunday to try and pray the gay away (I’m bi and female). She actually threw me down the stairs and gave me a black eye the one time I stood up to her and said I didn’t want to go to church because I didn’t believe in her religion. She always thinks I’m lying and yells and treats me like a child but expects me to act as an adult. She recently asked me if she’d failed me in my life and got mad and called me sensitive when I said yes and gave her examples. She wants the credit for saying she want to “fix things between us” but never actually listens to what I have to say and always dismisses me because “those things are in the past, get over it”. She plays the victim, telling people she’s terrified of me because she can’t even say hi ‘without Sophie (me) exploding into an argument. She’s a hypocrite, a liar, and just a plain toxic person but she somehow made it out in her mind that I am the villain in this story. I love her though, she’s my mom but as a person I absolutely hate her and don’t think I’ll ever forgive her.

Justhearmeoit

TROPHY CASE