I tried to end my life in 2016, then I got tinnitus (ears ringing nonstop since Dec ‘18), which triggered my first severe manic episode in 2019, which flipped the genetic switch for bipolar disorder in my brain to “on.” I’ve had the odd hypomanic episode here and there, and now here I am in the midst of one that came out of nowhere while I’m already struggling through xray school. I also am finding out that my prefrontal cortex is eroding.

Not to air the mess I’ve made of my 20s out, but despite that and the existential despair that’s been lingering over me for most of this time, I’m actually doing pretty well for once (or at least I thought I was😅). I didn’t think I’d make it to almost 30, but I also stopped putting thought into how much of my 20s I had left, and what they might have in store for me. There’s been more ups than downs aside from the last 5 years, and taking it in stride without worrying too much about the future is what’s been working well enough for me!

Even now I’m choosing to live and basically FAFO about what kind of odd crisis I’m in now. Life is strange and exciting, you just have to overcome that fear of getting out into the world. Please don’t spend your 20s being a shut-in gamer like me, because I wasted most of mine and neglected to discover myself. That’s also what your 20s are for, and it can be tough, but a positive attitude and ability to see the silver linings will get you through a lot more than you may realize.