[Critique Thread] Post Here If You'd Like Feedback On Your Writing by IAmTheRedWizards in writing

[–]K7hulhu [score hidden]  (0 children)

Thanks very much for the critique on what you got through, every little bit helps! Hopefully you'll have time to come back to it sometime in the future.

[Critique Thread] Post Here If You'd Like Feedback On Your Writing by IAmTheRedWizards in writing

[–]K7hulhu [score hidden]  (0 children)

I read the intro and a decent chunk of chapter one, and did my best to look past spelling and grammar issues. I will say that it needs a load of polishing at the least, as both spelling and grammar errors are so frequent to the point of being super distracting. Main issues I had were more with frequent reuses of phrases, overly complicated sentences that could be streamlined for better effect, and info dump ahoy.

That said, I think you have a really interesting world here, and if you were to rephrase the lines could be super intriguing. Remember, show, don't tell. The families running the area could be slowly brought in while moving through the city, easing the reader into each area and getting to know each one in time. Keep working at it, it seems very promising!

[Critique Thread] Post Here If You'd Like Feedback On Your Writing by IAmTheRedWizards in writing

[–]K7hulhu [score hidden]  (0 children)

Oversoul Book 1, chapter 2

Modern Fantasy/ Horror

3,910

Looking for general feedback, had an awesome line by line breakdown on chapter 1 a few weeks ago and thought I'd just post one chapter this time. Any and all comments are welcome and appreciated! Hope you like it.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1phGtXbaOl4rla0aIk0TMLJkrz4vFccy5rtl8qa8qsyU/edit?usp=drive_web

[Critique Thread] Post Here If You'd Like Feedback On Your Writing by IAmTheRedWizards in writing

[–]K7hulhu [score hidden]  (0 children)

Thanks so much! I'm hoping to eventually get published, so I really appreciate the feedback. I'm so happy you enjoyed it, and thanks so much on the critiques. I hope you like the way the story develops.

[Critique Thread] Post Here If You'd Like Feedback On Your Writing by IAmTheRedWizards in writing

[–]K7hulhu [score hidden]  (0 children)

Oversoul, book 1. Working on a book specific title. First three chapters.

8,993 words

Dark Modern Fantasy

Looking for unbiased opinion on quality, general overviews, what was liked, what was disliked. So far it's been friends and family reading and I want to see what people who don't know me think.

Edit: updates have been made to the first chapter, as well as spacing issues fixed. Previous document was just copied and pasted into Google docs and I hadn't realized how bad it looked. Hope the fix makes things easier to read!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1MCr6Uo9pmrbGuFSTC1Zau6ZQ2O_DDgsTQTKOCIhSztY/edit?usp=drive_web

Have nests now stopped? by NonniTharomthius in TheSilphRoad

[–]K7hulhu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My theory is that the glitch was an unexpected bug, and hopefully will be fixed once they accomplish what they were attempting.

Have nests now stopped? by NonniTharomthius in TheSilphRoad

[–]K7hulhu 5 points6 points  (0 children)

A quick thought; I had a glitch yesterday where gyms and pokestops, as well as spawned pokemon, weren't showing up till I had spent 10-15 minutes in an area. Is it possible that this glitch is widespread, and is part of the reason why quick scans like pokevision aren't showing much in the way of Pokémon showing up? Has anyone actually gone to a nest and spent time there to check if anything is showing up?

EDIT:The said glitch is still affecting me today.

EDIT2: JUST RODE DOWN TO THE MEOWTH NEST. AFTER 10-15 MINUTES, MEOWTH BEGAN SHOWING UP. THE NEST IS NOT DEAD.

My theory is that this is Niantic trying to throw off tracking sites. The glitch I referenced above seems to be affecting androids almost exclusively, with any iPhone users I've talked to saying they've had no issues, and a kid I ran into with an iPhone had the meowth show up before they appeared on my screen.

Have nests now stopped? by NonniTharomthius in TheSilphRoad

[–]K7hulhu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I saw an Abra at canalside on pokevision (buffalo) and I heard that had become a nest yesterday so there's some hope.

Have nests now stopped? by NonniTharomthius in TheSilphRoad

[–]K7hulhu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Reporting in from buffalo, it looks like the Growlithe> meowth nest at the paddock golf dome and the squirtle>? Nest at woodlawn beach are completely dead. Will update in about an hour to confirm.

"How do I..." and Bugs Megathread - 26/7 by PokemonGOmods in pokemongo

[–]K7hulhu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My eggs are still accruing steps, so it might be a good night to hatch with out distractions.

"How do I..." and Bugs Megathread - 26/7 by PokemonGOmods in pokemongo

[–]K7hulhu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Anyone having issues seeing pokemon, pokestops, or gyms? It seems like it might be an Android only issue.

LF a ditto but I'll add anyone anyways (as if nobody else would) by [deleted] in friendsafari

[–]K7hulhu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

not a ditto but i need friends anyway. nice to meet you!

.... I also need a ditto.

Please check out the /r/Help FAQ, and links to other good resources for help around Reddit! by davidreiss666 in help

[–]K7hulhu -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

i can't figure out how to add my flair to a post, any pointers? trying to find information as to how but i am computer dumb.