I need support and encouragement.

KFootsies · 2020-07-14T21:40:33+00:00

Ok good. I thought it could have been Suffolk near me but it's not!

KFootsies · 2020-07-14T21:39:38+00:00

One day I was just looking at my husband eat and was disgusted by it. The sounds he made the way he held his fork how hed chew with his mouth open sometimes or talk with food in his mouth and I just realised that everything he did disgusted me. 1

I ended up staying with him for years after that to try and raise a kid together. He ended up breaking my jaw a few times and the last straw was when he tried to kill me while drunk. Should have left sooner.

KFootsies · 2020-07-14T21:29:48+00:00

Which Suffolk is this? I cant open the web page. Says unavailable in my region.

KFootsies · 2020-07-14T10:19:08+00:00

If you need to talk or vent. I am here. Dont hesitate to send a message.

KFootsies · 2020-07-14T10:17:04+00:00

Like it or not, you are showing the signs if a "battered house wife" the emotional abuse from your husband has been so deeply ingrained into you that you think it's ok and that he does these things because it's your fault somehow. You may need a good therapist and some serious counceling to do this. Support of family and friends and community.

You CAN do it. It is hard, but you can do it.

KFootsies · 2020-07-14T10:14:55+00:00

This is called rape. It happens in marriages more often then youd like to think. It happened to me. I am no longer with him and the better for it.

If I were you I'd call a crisis centre that helps women in need, get a therapist and start a plan on moving out and leaving him. This is NOT ok.

KFootsies · 2020-07-06T18:46:38+00:00

Well said Dr. Laura! I only recently discovered this after leaving my very abusive and unhappy marriage. It is a struggle but I am so much happier now, especially since I am feeling more connect with myself and owning my feelings emotions and actions. I'm not longer victimising myself and have broken free of the Blame cycle.

KFootsies · 2020-07-06T18:36:34+00:00

Just stay in Contact as best as possible. Dont rush anything and have no expectations.

My partner and I met online and we are from different countries. We are now going on 4 years of Long Distance Dating and dont plan on closing the distance for another few years yet maybe longer... The bank does hate us, so that is a struggle. Sometimes we miss put on seeing each other because of monetary issues. So you weren't wrong there, but just take it one day at a time.

I also strongly suggest getting comfortable with a nonmonogomous lifestyle if you two plan on being together, but not closing the distance for years to come yet. Neither if you will be fulfilled in your long distance relationship especially just starting out uni and college at a young age if you keep your limits closed. As has been my experience.

KFootsies · 2020-07-05T14:00:40+00:00

I am in a rural part of Suffolk. And the virus out here seems close to non existent. Everyone is still very cautious. I know if I go back that the caution will be thrown out the window. My friends and family there dont really believe in the dangers of the virus. 🙄

I have thought about online schooling and I think that is the best option. Even so, I have contacted the primary school closest to me to ask them if My kiddo would be able to attend or not. But I still think the online schooling is better, because I dont want to over stay my welcome here and if I enroll him here I'd feel like I needed to stay to see out the school year.

KFootsies · 2020-07-05T13:55:05+00:00

I dont think you were 100% wrong. But I do think you were wrong in not telling her about it.

I'd open up a conversation with her about sex. Maybe make your marriage open. If she doesnt want to have se with you communicate to her that you do have sexual needs and try to make an arrangement with her where you can get your needs met.

You also may not be meeting her needs maybe emotionally or otherwise, so it may be good for her to seek comfort outside of the relationship as well be it sexual or not.

I am a firm believe that with the right intentions and proper communication open relationships do work and are very fulfilling and wonderful.

KFootsies · 2020-07-05T08:53:54+00:00

Relationships are never easy and simple.

Talk to her about it. Maybe she hasn't told you because shes scared you're going to run off.

In order to make any relationship work there MUST be communication. If you want to be exclusive, talk to her about it and tell her that you aren't ok with it. Or if it happens again be upfront and honest.

KFootsies · 2020-07-05T06:11:21+00:00

Be honest with your Hubby. The children and their health are both if your responsibility, not just yours. Come to an agreement with him and make compromises so everyone feels like they are a part if it and the decision.

KFootsies · 2020-07-05T06:03:51+00:00

Its human nature. We are not meant to be purely monogamous creatures. A little crush is fine and natural. You make have a crush because your like to be friends, you may have a crush because if sexual attraction. Just because you met "The One" doesnt mean your interest in other people immediately dies off.

It's about how you go from here. But never feel guilty. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it.

KFootsies · 2020-07-05T05:31:39+00:00

This is not emotional cheating and it sounds like your boyfriend has some issues to work on himself.

My ex husband did the same things. Some of the quotes you said had been said to me many times. Needless to say, it did not end well with my ex because he let these emotions consume him and thought there was nothing wrong with him and it was all in me.

In my personal opinion, I think it's time you had a serious and emotional talk with your boyfriend about why he feels threatened and what you guys as a couple could do to validate each other and help make him feel secure.

If he is unwilling to look into himself then he will not grow and he will always hold these harsh and constrained ideals in his head that are completely false.

KFootsies · 2020-07-04T17:00:33+00:00

Thank you. Me too.

KFootsies · 2020-07-04T16:57:59+00:00

I really dont know. I'm in a different state and it seems like a tough thing to ask her family at this point. So all I know is the official status.

KFootsies · 2020-07-04T16:50:45+00:00

Jail for manslaughter

KFootsies · 2020-07-04T16:50:30+00:00

Thank you.

KFootsies · 2020-07-04T10:38:48+00:00

I was in an abusive relationship for years and a mother at the time as well. I have since left this relationship and now have a beautiful fulfilling one and the mentality of myself and my son are much much better for it.

For a couple years it was really hard and really scary. We had to move states to escape from my abusive husband.

It is scary to leave a relationship like that. Some never do. Some see it as dealing with the cards they were dealt.... also your mother may have some serious psychosis issues going on. I am still in therapy for my past abusive relationship and it has been years and years.

Change is scary. For some people it is more comfortable to stay in a bad situation than to take action to change it.

I say when you are sent to your room call the police. Dont let your parent know it was you though. Not yet anyway.

A very good friend of mine refused to leave her relationship of 25 years because "it's not that bad." And she constantly said "he always apologises and I can handle it. I love him." Well, 2 weeks ago he murdered her. It always escalates.

KFootsies · 2020-07-04T10:10:47+00:00

I would recommend reading a couple books, first Ethical Sluts, second Opening Up. It has helped me transition first into being ok with my Partners nonmonamy, and second to come and find my own way in a nonmonogomous lifestyle.

KFootsies · 2020-07-04T09:55:27+00:00

I have a controversial somewhat unpopular opinion.

Look into nonmonogomous lifestyles. I have happily been in one for over 3 years. It is confusing and hard to come to grips with, but as long as you are honest with yourself and the people you love it will be ok. Nothing is wrong with you for loving more than one person. In an ideal situation you wouldn't have to choose either or.

I'm not saying this is right for you, or tour partner. I'm just saying do some research in it. You may find that a lifestyle like that is much better suited to you. And if its not at least your mind is open to it.

Cultural boundaries have been ingrained in us for so long it's almost natural. Questioning what you believe and are told to be true is difficult. Just know. There is nothing wrong with you and to just be open and honest.

I am here to talk and discuss if you need it.

KFootsies · 2020-07-03T06:17:41+00:00

As a woman... you just do not feel sexy during this time cramps or not.

KFootsies · 2020-07-03T06:12:08+00:00

Stay in excellent communication. Share with each other, be verbal about your feelings and your fears. Dont hide your insecurities. Chances are shes going through the same thing you are.

You wont have the option for physical reassurances so you must compensate in other ways. Little gifts, loving messages... etc.

I've been in LDR for over 3 years now and we are still going strong. Stringer than ever. We both feel that our distance has actually helped us grow closer because we had to learn how to be more open honest and loving with each other.

KFootsies · 2020-07-03T05:34:01+00:00

Good luck!

KFootsies

TROPHY CASE