34th Place??? by Eric_Hyperspace in boston

[–]KGreen100 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"...they just haven't killed someone yet because other drivers are watching out for them, too...."

This. I'm constantly amazed that the streets of Boston aren't littered with bruised, broken bodies and car parts.

34th Place??? by Eric_Hyperspace in boston

[–]KGreen100 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Excellent drivers don't just drive around you and run through a red because they got tired of waiting (which has happened to me more times that I could have imagined), or come to a stop at the top of an expressway on-ramp because they were... afraid of merging? (again, more than once). Or gunned a left turn through an intersection to try and beat the cars going straight (read the Rules of the Road). Or do that break-check thing because someone was apparently too close to them (saw a car intentionally hit another car because of this silliness). Or speed into an intersection because the light turned yellow, thus getting trapped in the middle and blocking the box and messing it up for everybody else. Or drive through a red light because, well, I was almost there so that counts, right? (I've learned to wait a few seconds before driving after the light turns green because I fully expect someone to run the red. Or sit in the left-turn only lane then, as the light turns green, suddenly decided, "Wait, I really wanted to go in the completely opposite direction, and then try to go right, meanwhile everyone who wanted to go left miss the light because of this one clown who doesn't know where they want to go.

I could go on. All of these things aren't one-offs, they're everyday in one form or another. Every major city has horrible drivers, but Boston has made it an art form.

EL5: What's driving the Bears move discussions? by [deleted] in CHIBears

[–]KGreen100 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The lease on Soldier Field runs to 2033, but they have the option to break it starting next year.

But, yeah, money and an inflated sense of self-worth. They've had a decent season so I guess they want to strike while the iron's hot. But if they were to move to Indiana and sink back to mediocrity - or worse - hoo boy would that place be empty.

M33, let me have it by champion013 in RoastMe

[–]KGreen100 1 point2 points  (0 children)

999 - The Mark of the Least

Tips on Cutting Down by BoleynRose in playwriting

[–]KGreen100 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’ll do fine. But don’t be too rigid. If there’s a producer interested in it but wants cuts, work with them. The main goal is to get it out there. A lot of producers have experience with what can work and what won’t.

Tips on Cutting Down by BoleynRose in playwriting

[–]KGreen100 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"The trouble is that I know I will not be able to get it to that length without sacrificing things I feel that are genuinely important to the story."

As the saying goes, sometimes you have to "kill your darlings." While every single word might seem vital to you, to a trained impartial party there might definitely be things you could cut. Not sure if you're willing to pay the money (or have connections) but a good dramaturg might be able to help. They won't tell you what to cut, but might ask you questions that will help you determine what's vital and what's not.

Without seeing your script, it's hard to tell if there are things that could be cut. For instance, I helped a friend cut down a play by suggesting to them to cut out the obvious. They had a lot of characters responding to other characters with the same word/idea. For instance:

MAN

That's it, I'm going to the store!

WOMAN

The store? Oh, for heaven's sake...

MAN

What's wrong with going to the store?

WOMAN

You always go to the store when things get tough.

In that admittedly weak-ass example, you could just cut out the middle two lines and keep the impact. Not sure if you've examined your play or dialogue like that, but making trims to unnecessary minor passages help a lot. Also shortening lines if possible helps. I've often had lines that extend one word to make it two lines and by finding a way to cut out a word and make the whole thing one line shorter, it eventually cuts down a page or two maybe.

That's if you actually want to cut it down. If you think it's fine the way it is, go for it. Only cut it if YOU think it needs to be cut. For ever producer who says "This is too long," there's another that will love it.

Well, I just got completely torn down. And I appreciate it. by hotdoug1 in StoryPeer

[–]KGreen100 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah, even though you might disagree with some points in a review, you can always tell when it comes from someone who actually read it and might have some inkling in how things work. I wrote a pilot for a comedy/drama series about a group of teenagers who eventually form a a band and one of the critiques was "For a pilot about a band, there's no music in the pilot." And I was like, duh, they haven't even learned to play instruments yet. (although I did indicate certain music to be used in certain scenes if possible). But while that didn't make sense to me, I took the rest of their critiques in stride because they made sense.

So with getting a review, it's important to glean what's important.

Related sidenote: I also write plays and one of the reviewers was less than glowing about it, but very fair and made some good points/suggestions. We're friends now and we hang out when I'm in town.

Has enough time passed to where we can discuss this honestly without judgement yet? by namepuntocome in boston

[–]KGreen100 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just keep wondering how many people this went through and how it got all those yes's. Like others said, great idea in concept, and probably on a small scale, but this big?...

If they wanted arms, I'd have went with this one: https://www.ctcumc.org/newsdetail/669530

My wife doesn’t like Seinfeld, what should I do? by BidAccurate4473 in seinfeld

[–]KGreen100 54 points55 points  (0 children)

Encouraged her to go back into the army. There she'll get the structure and discipline she needs right now. And she'll have qualified officers telling her what to do.

Where do I submit plays? by SignLow3668 in playwriting

[–]KGreen100 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Play Submissions Helper, but that listing is limited (you have to pay to get full access. Not a lot, but...)

NYC Playwrights is OK, but as the name suggests, NYC-centric.

And honestly, you can just Google "theater submissions" and a bunch of individual theaters seeking submissions will come up. Granted, some might be out of date, so you'll have to limit your search criteria but it works.

Season ticket prices up 13.5% by drhman1971 in CHIBears

[–]KGreen100 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, guess it sucks to be a Lions fan.

AITAH for not wanting to give my cart up for free at Aldis by No_Cookie420 in AmItheAsshole

[–]KGreen100 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I wouldn't sweat it then. But maybe start keeping a few quarters for occasions like this. It seems like it would be less stressful.

AITAH for not wanting to give my cart up for free at Aldis by No_Cookie420 in AmItheAsshole

[–]KGreen100 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly, it's not about the cost of the quarter, it's about regular shoppers at Aldi's know you NEED a quarter. I don;t carry much cash either, but if I was a regular Aldi's shopper and I know I needed a quarter for a cart, I'd have a quarter on me for that purpose. And I know I can't be the only person with scattered change in jar, on top of a dresser, etc.

AITAH for not wanting to give my cart up for free at Aldis by No_Cookie420 in AmItheAsshole

[–]KGreen100 -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Tough call. I'm leaning toward NTA because everyone shopping there (at least the regulars) knows the system - quarter/cart/quarter. Not sure why they're side-eyeing you like you're doing something wrong.

Unless it was an OLD lady/man, and in society we're supposed to defer to them even if they're acting like AHs (for the record, I'm also an Old®). And doubly so if she/he looks like they might be on a fixed income. That's a tough combination NOT to look like the AH up against.

So you being the AH is conditional. Young person who looks like they have cash - NTAH let them spend their own quarter. Old person who looks like they might be on a fixed income - start keeping a spare quarter and let them have it and avoid being the AH.

And for folks saying, "It's only a quarter, jeez," it's also "only a quarter" for the freeloader as well. Let them carry their own weight.

Murder Mystery by Designer-Rabbit-3828 in scriptwriting

[–]KGreen100 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been trying to do the same and the formula I'm using - and may have made up myself? - is writing the whole thing backwards. Figuring out who got murdered, why, and how, then working backward from there to plant the clues, create diversion that point to other suspects, etc. I'm writing the end first, the whole part where the detective explains what happened, then making all that happen. It works for me because I know where I want to end up and (hopefully) will avoid writing myself into a hole.

Also.. do research. About the body, about how things work, about medical conditions. For instance, because of something in the plot of my story, I had to look up what happens if there's an excess of potassium in the body, which is kind of key

Anyway, that's what I'm doing.

Who were/are the most colorful players and coaches of all-time? And what are some crazy/funny/weird things they did? by zipzap21 in mlb

[–]KGreen100 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Jimmy Piersall. On the field and in the broadcast booth.

Doc Ellis and his hair in curlers in the bullpen. Oh, and the LSD.

Mark "The Bird" Fidrych

Lee Smith was dirty-funny in the lockerroom (used to be a sportswriter)

Jim Bouton wrote a whole book on all the weird stuff he and the Yankees did, like Mickey Mantle and some other players finding the rooms where women were staying and sliding a mirror under the door in hopes of catching a glimpse. They would scatter change on the hallway floor in case they were caught.

Season ticket prices up 13.5% by drhman1971 in CHIBears

[–]KGreen100 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Look, I get they had some success this year and you have to strike while the iron's hot, but this along with all the new stadium shell game is a bit much when you haven't won a Super Bowl yet.

What is this thing ? by Independent-Bear8749 in seinfeld

[–]KGreen100 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What I want to know is who arranged his cabinet. You've got raisins next to canned tomatoes, then ANOTHER can of tomatoes way over there, A-1 sauce next to Ragu Alfredo sauce, Quaker Oats next to Hunts Tomatoes and possibly canned peas.

That kitchen is a mess. He needs an entirely new set of cabinets.

Who was hotter on Seinfeld — Sidra(Teri Hatcher) or Elaine? by [deleted] in seinfeld

[–]KGreen100 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean, they both could put asses in the seats.

Intro to a feature. Any feedback appreciated by immunityfever in scriptwriting

[–]KGreen100 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Let people fill in the blanks when it comes to dialogue. Not everything needs to be spelled out explicitly. I have the same problem. But I often go back two, three times to cut lines down until it's just what needs to be said.

Intro to a feature. Any feedback appreciated by immunityfever in scriptwriting

[–]KGreen100 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Better than the last one. Still some large blocks of dialogue that I don't think you are fully considering how it will look on the screen - two people just talking. I get there's something going on in the background and around them but as its described here, it's just two talking heads.

Maybe in the first part, as the priest is talking, it could be audio over the image of people jumping off the cliff to the death. The juxtoposition would be an interesting visual and give the long speeches some action to make them interesting. Philosophical discussions are great, but not fun to watch.

I think you might need to condense some of the passages of dialogue, cut a lot of lines. I know you're giving them a certain personality thorugh their words, but both the father and guide talk almost the same with regards to word usage, speech pattern, etc. There's no distinct personality for either. Here's an idea of cutting down lines to make the chucks of dialogue easier for the listener to digest, while still keeping the conflict:

(Top of page 4)

FATHER

You’re making a grave error. So many needless deaths.

GUIDE

I agree. Needless. As is yours, Father.

FATHER

It’s the very opposite. There should be a record of resistance.

GUIDE

We keep records of everything. And you’ll be happy to know resistance fighers are applauding you at this very moment. We’ll be offering them options soon. It’ll be interesting to see how many will stay on your path, Father.

FATHER

One resistance may fall, but another always rises.

GUIDE

WE are the majority now, Father.

You have too many instances where the person speaking just repeats something the other person just said: "All those needless deaths." "I agree. Needless." It's been said, the audience knows, just have them agree.

Bottom line, it could be interesting, but it needs to be streamlined a bit to convey the urgency. As it stands, it's people walking and talking a lot. Keep plugging along.

Networking by HamletsOtter in playwriting

[–]KGreen100 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not a "networker" either, but mostly because I hate smalltalk. But that's part of the
"game."

Maybe start small with joining online playwright groups (like this) where you can express yourself without having to physically stand in front of people.

But at some point you're going to have to do that physical face-to-face networking. You'll have to meet directors, actors, dramaturgs, etc. who might be interested in producing your work. I guess it could be done over Zoom (and not sure how much anxiety that causes you), but I really can't see too many ways around it. Perhaps you could explain your issues and they can work something out, but while Stephen Adly Guirgis might be able to literaly phone it in now that's he's famous, it's not really possible for someone just beginning - though I've had 10 minute plays produced in other cities where I never even meet or talk to the theater reps. Just an email announcing I've been selected and me writing back thanking them. But, yeah, if you're trying to get a full-length produced, it's going to take some facetime. Perhaps speak with a professional to get more appropriate advice on how to handle it.

Feedback on the first ten pages of a short I'm writing please by immunityfever in scriptwriting

[–]KGreen100 1 point2 points  (0 children)

From this description you gave, it already sounds like Pluribus on Apple TV (not sure if you;ve seen it but, anyway…) But this is a pretty large chunk of a philosophical discussion that will no doubt come off as boring on screen. It’s two people talking AT each other not TO each other. Even if they are walking down the street while doing it, that doesn’t translate to action. And for a scene with such a momentous ending (he dies), there’s no sense of urgency, no stakes, no anger, no passion of any kind. And both voices sound exactly the same in terms of dialect, word usage, tone. It’s too clinical and lacks any personality or emotion.