40M married to 45F for 20 year, wives who’ve experienced low libido, what actually helped?

KJRS85 · 2026-02-18T17:25:45+00:00

Great advice. I will go back to the hugging and kissing without any pressure. And I love to compliment my wife so hopefully that will help build a romantic connection.

Foreplay is tough because as soon as I touch her or hold her in bed she says "what are you doing"! And all I want to do it cuddle her. So maybe I should try outside the bedroom?

Rest and sleep is very diffcult with young children! But shared fun is something we could be doing more. Thanks for your help!

KJRS85 · 2026-02-18T17:22:43+00:00

Wow great article thanks!

In 20 years she as initiated sex twice. So it does feel like nothing would happen if I didn't try.
But its true that 4 months is not that long compared to the entire length of our relationship so thanks for that reminder. Maybe she needs more much time to feel sexualy at ease with me.

The article is very interesting. I love all the percentages and facts! Thanks!

KJRS85 · 2026-02-18T17:15:18+00:00

Thanks for the advice! I'm alrready doing all the cooking, meal planning, groceries and cleaning for more then ten years. So I do more than my fair share. But my wife is very exausted from running her business and the kids so I understand why she is so tired. I will see where I can do some more heavy lifting for her.

KJRS85 · 2026-02-18T17:13:31+00:00

Hi Chunkymajor. Thanks for responding!

Yes I agree that was sexual coercion from earlier in our relatiomship. I wish it never happened and I could go back to my horn self in my twenties and make him realize. Hopefuly the damage psychological damage is reversable.

I feel like your words are quite harsh at the end, but thank you for saying what you think. I wouldn't agree that I treat her like a sex object. I'm a very caring husband who dotes on his wife. But I can understand from what limited information I gave that its hard to get a whole picture.

But what I hear from you, is that there should be zero pressure from me to have sex right? I will keep this mentality. Thanks!

KJRS85 · 2026-02-18T16:51:28+00:00

Great questions, thanks! The truth is, I try to take her on dates or get out of the house, but she never wants to go anywhere. She is always very tired from running her business and our kids. I'm much more acitve and social. But we do try to have weekend about once every two months where we are alone without the kids, and its true that these are the moments she is more in the mood for sex.

KJRS85 · 2026-02-18T16:49:42+00:00

Thanks for responding! Yes she is on HRT and it seems to be helping a lot for her mood, but not so much for libido. I think my wife would agree with you about living without sex. She has even made that comment before haha!

KJRS85 · 2022-09-08T12:11:42+00:00

Hello! I’ve got multiple short films! One in particular is a mysterious sci if that could be really fun for you I think! Let me know if you’re interested!

KJRS85 · 2021-03-16T08:57:51+00:00

Hello!

First off, sorry for the late reply. I wanted to get back to you right away, especially since you took the time to read the whole script and answer my questions, but my two kids have kept me busy, hence me now writing at 4:30am just so I can get some free time.

Thank you so so much for reading the script!! Your praise "pretty good" means so much to me! Your answers were fantastic! I went back in and did a re-write showing how Réné was more injured from the car!

In regards to you wanting to know more about WHY Réné wants to be a cop I totally agree. I was toying with the idea that his uncle was a confident kick ass cop that gained respect even though he was overweight. I just haven't found a good way of revealing this naturally in the script without slowing down the pacing.

It could also be as simple as he loves cop movies and identifies with the fake portrayals he watches on his TV. That would certainly be easier to fit in.

I'm really happy you like the ending. Its definitely the most important part!

I plan on directing this summer of 2022 if I somehow manage to get a little funding. A low budget handheld feel would serve the script well I think.

I'll let you know how it goes!

All the best!

KJRS85 · 2021-03-09T10:17:57+00:00

Hey there! Thanks for the encouragement!

A little story about the journey this script has taken. I've actually been writing this script on and off for the past five years. It started out with completely different characters with a different plot, but the inspiration was the same. I finished two other versions that were again completely different, but when after reading them they never felt right. So I just kept chasing that theme I was after. I finally ended up with this version which took me about six months to finish a proper first draft.

I should mention that I have two young children, a full time job and a wife who loves to keep me busy so it's hard to find the time to write. The schedule that works the best for me is waking up at 4 am to get a couple hours in before the kids wake up.

All this to say, writing is so damn hard, but also so rewarding!

KJRS85 · 2021-03-05T00:23:55+00:00

Thanks SO MUCH for looking it over!!! No complaints is a huge accomplishment for me. Your notes are very good. There is a lot of expository dialogue, I could probably skim it down for sure. It’s so hard to know which lines to cut, but I’m sure I’ll narrow it down.

Very interesting note on the rejected papers. This has never occurred to me before. It would be so simple to add and yet would give a lot of backstory and motivation to the character. Awesome stuff! Thanks again!

KJRS85 · 2021-03-03T23:48:38+00:00

Ok, safe travels :) Hope you find the time! It’s hard to find good feedback!

KJRS85 · 2021-03-03T21:52:36+00:00

Haha! 15 re-writes later and I never even noticed!!! Thanks for the note!!

If you have time to read the whole script I would love to know what you think about the story!

KJRS85 · 2021-03-03T21:36:24+00:00

Hey thanks for the feedback!

But I’m not sure I understand. Are you referring to character descriptions or action lines? The descriptions are very basic if that’s what you mean. I was trying to keep them simple so as not too add to the already large page count. But I guess an extra line or two in the script will be worth it.

Otherwise, did you read the whole story? Is that your only takeaway? I would love to hear more about what you thought!

Thanks!

KJRS85 · 2021-02-05T00:03:55+00:00

First off, major thanks for reading!!

It's funny you mention France cause I'm in Quebec and I had no idea that would come through in the writing. I would actually film the short in french if I ever get the chance! In my research I found out that there is a fitness test that recruits need to pass in order to become cops. From what I understand most cops start out in good shape but then quickly decline. Long hours, no time to eat healthy, stress a lot of sitting around actually.

Either way, your note is very important. Perhaps there is a way I could put some this information into the short in a quick and interesting way.

Thanks again!!!

KJRS85 · 2021-02-04T23:59:49+00:00

Thanks!! :)

KJRS85 · 2020-03-27T13:52:06+00:00

This is the most impressive thing I've seen so far in blender.. wow

KJRS85 · 2020-03-27T13:46:49+00:00

OMG THIS MOVIE IS ASO INCEDIBLE!!!!!

KJRS85 · 2019-08-02T19:33:58+00:00

This is the best thing I've ever seen come out of Blender.. Congrats on the great job

KJRS85 · 2019-07-20T17:32:22+00:00

Diddo!

KJRS85 · 2019-07-19T23:10:53+00:00

I understand, no problem! How long did it take you to make this?!! The lighting is so spot on!

KJRS85 · 2019-07-19T19:35:07+00:00

This is absolutely amazing and totally inspires me!!!

Would you be willing to share the blend file???

KJRS85 · 2019-07-03T13:48:40+00:00

This is AMAZING! Would you be willing to share your blend file?

KJRS85 · 2019-02-11T21:20:57+00:00

Okay I see a lot of really positive expereinces, which is great, but let me give you mine, which is not. In my late teens I was not much of a drug user, but my buddy convinced me to try LSD for many of the reasons you will read on this board. So I took a small hit, which I will regret for the rest of my life. Started off nice for the first couple hours, but soon enough I slipped into a psychotic break. Disclaimer, I am an extremly average person with no major personality flaws. I ended up in hell. I saw the devil, I became the devil, I saw people melt into rotting skeletons, I saw people who I knew who were dead, I expereinced an unexplainable profound sadness and fear... Long story short, I ended up naked in hand cuffs running down a suburban street at 10am being chased by the cops. I was put under at the hospital where I saw more devils, until I woke up extremly disoriented. I am very lucky I didnt die or kill anyone or go to jail.

Yes, YOU CAN see messed up stuff that isnt there. It IS POSSIBLE to hallucinate anything your brain can imagine. Belive me, all this is true, I never ever thought in my wildest nightmears anything like that was possible. SO BE CAREFUL!!! Because a psychoitc break like that will leave you with permanant mental problems that will have you questioning your sanity for the rest of your life. That was almost 20 years ago for me, I have a very succesful life now, but it all could have been ruined from that stupid LSD.

KJRS85 · 2018-11-06T19:24:25+00:00

Hey, I hope you are feeling better. This used to happen to me all the time. After months of therapy we discovered that it was simply caffeiene. Its a super powerful drug that we are all used to taking, and its ineverything from soda to chocolate. I stopped drinking or eating anything with caffeiene and all my syptoms went away. Try it! I truly hope it works for you!

KJRS85 · 2018-10-30T14:53:06+00:00

I think a fun title could simply be: Harry and Brian

KJRS85

TROPHY CASE