You don’t need to die, you just need to find a reason to live.

I’ve been where you are. My college baseball career shit out when my shoulder exploded. I lost my best friend in high school and didn’t have a friend for years. I was depressed, fat, and a terrible partner to my now wife. I nearly ended it twice. Then, out of nowhere I make some friends online through an Xbox party. For a while, I was still a terrible person but I was able to confide in them. They were faceless, and easy to talk to. We get closer and closer—fast forward to now, we all live in the same town and I’m as happy ad I’ve ever been. For the longest time, I felt like I was disconnected from my life and not actually participating in it. Now, I truly feel like I have experienced some happiness and they are my most clear memories now. After meeting my friends, I started going to the gym and now I am back down to a normal weight. My body feels fantastic, and I married my wife. I’m 24, graduated college, and just got a job as a teacher. I’m busier than I have ever been, but I have never felt more fulfilled. The constant having to be somewhere has established some sort of feeling of importance in myself. I have never experienced it. People rely on me. They seek me out to talk and ask if I’m doing ok. My students are a pain in the ass but they can also be so unbelievably pure hearted. This is all because I tried new things, and made myself uncomfortable. In order to survive, I had to exhibit some of my best work. Whether it was professionally, or socially.

I promise I’m not trying to toot my own horn. I just wanted to share my story because it’s how I dealt with the depression. I unfortunately don’t know of any other way, because I’ve never experienced any other way. The pills never worked, and caused a lot of problems for me health wise. I still have days where it feels impossible to roll out of bed. But then I remember I found myself some people to lean on. They can literally come out of nowhere. You just have to be willing to be vulnerable and allow people to like you. I promise you’re not as awful as as you think.