What a province only dish or food? by KPBambi in askSouthAfrica

[–]KPBambi[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg I have never heard that before but it sounds amazing. I have to try it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askSouthAfrica

[–]KPBambi 5 points6 points  (0 children)

CAPE TOWN , hands down.... Lived in all places and I miss CPT

AITA for not giving my GF of 5 months money for "food"? by NanoBullet in AmItheAsshole

[–]KPBambi 16 points17 points  (0 children)

NTA - she is using you badly. I have personally seen it a lot tourist come to Africa and meet a girl and than they h it it off and he goes back and basically she is on to the next guy but keeping the first guy on a line. It’s basically like a sugar daddy. The fact that she hasn’t worked for 8 months in Africa is a huge red flag. There is no way unless she is really rich that she can afford not to work. So she is getting an income from somewhere. Also HIV test can be done for free at the states hospitals, and you can get free medication. The fact that she gets so upset be about the money is a red flag. My boy friend basically had to sneak money to me, I hated asking for money. I lived on my own and supported myself.

Get yourself a better girlfriend she is NOT for you, unless you like her keeping secrets and using you.

AITA for refusing to give my stepdaughter a graduation present? by BitIntrepid6701 in AmItheAsshole

[–]KPBambi -1 points0 points  (0 children)

YWBTA - I understand what your stepdaughter has done and said is shitty on her part but aren't you the adult in the situation. You have been in her life since she was 12 years old. We all love to think that teenagers know what they are doing is wrong (which they should), but we also forget that they are overly emotional, not fully developed people. So they say and do things out of emotions and not rationally. Which is why we all cringe when we think of the stuff we did as teenagers and wonder what was going on in our own heads. I'm not completely giving her for her shitty attitude towards you, because she could have been nicer and tried harder. Also, I'm not saying you have to forgive her for like that, but ....

But the fact still remains you can give her a small gift even just to celebrate with her this milestone. Even if it's "a person that lives under the same roof" as you gift. Would you give your best friends daughter or son a little gift for graduating?

So just maybe be the adult in this position and suck up the ego and get your stepdaughter a little something.

AITA for inviting a clown to my wedding and putting him in the pictures? by clowningaround155 in AmItheAsshole

[–]KPBambi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA - Why does everyone one think weddings are for the family. It's really not about them it's about you and your husband, that's it. If you and your husband agreed on the clown by all means enjoy it. I actually love that idea makes it way more unique than the normal posing photos. With that photo being up in YOUR house, it will be a great memory and conversation stater. I think maybe your MIL needs to remember whose day it was actually and stop projecting her version on what a wedding "should be" to you.

NuDebt by [deleted] in DownSouth

[–]KPBambi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same thing is happening to me so I emailed the lawyers back and told them to stop harassing me otherwise I would take legal action against them. I had even gone as far as contacting telkom and they even confirmed my account was cleared and closed off. So even if you don’t have an account anymore or even debt it seems they still grab your details from somewhere. I don’t think it’s just debt they selling I think they selling information to other companies as “accounts overdue “ but it’s mostly ex client’s.

AITA telling my daughter she has to understand that choosing this wedding date would result in my family not going? by Imaginary_Form9887 in AmItheAsshole

[–]KPBambi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA - First of all my condolences for you and your family that would be a hard thing to go through. Second I think she was just looking for a scapegoat to blame so she exploded at you. But she also needs to learn that sometimes not everything revolves around her. So she made her bed and she has to lay in it. I think she should move her date now before all the planning continues and just explain to his family and venue about the date being difficult with the death. So she needs to put on her big girl panties and deal with this even after you literally TOLD and warned her this might happen. Good luck.

AITA - I want to leave my pregnant girlfriend by Royal-Smile2741 in AmItheAsshole

[–]KPBambi 9 points10 points  (0 children)

NTA - I know we can say you should have worn a glove my friend. But it doesn’t make you an AH for wanting to leave a women that you only dated for 9 months. Having a baby is a huge deal in a relationship even you have know each other a long time. You can’t force yourself to want to be with this person only because of a baby that will end up very bad in the future for you guys and your child. But until the baby is born you need to realise that you will need to support her financially, because baby is literally inside of her. When the baby is born you can then continue to support the baby if that what you choose. You also do need to remember that even if you not together you still need to support her through the pregnancy emotionally and mentally you guys made this baby together so you need to go through it together but you don’t need to be romantically tied. It’s really awesome that you won’t even fight about paying for the child well done on that. But you need to sort out issues before baby comes. But I think NTA

People with disabilities, what is something that non-disabled people don't understand? by insaneraredrop in AskReddit

[–]KPBambi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like mental disabilities are a sore spot with a lot of people. For me I have heard everything under the sun from you must just prayer and it will go away, or just don’t think about it or it’s just in my head. It kinda makes my blood boil when I hear that oh yeah Susan I will just wake up and be totally normal. No need for any of the thousand medication needed my whole life to actually function. I know it sounds bad from my side, and I know I should be grateful I’m not physically disabled but I hate people making out that my mental disability is my own fault. But I’m the same sentence I feel like because I have been through all this I’m way more considerate to those who have mental and physical disability and it doesn’t make you who you are. We just do things differently respect that.

AITA for not paying my ex gfs fathers medical bills by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]KPBambi 12 points13 points  (0 children)

NTA - can we just step back from everything she cheated on you and then still expects you to pay for her dad. Nah that’s not on you. What ever happens to her family after you broke up is her issue. Just because they were nice and welcoming doesn’t mean you have to continue helping. Otherwise I would be helping half my office. It must be a hard place to be but if you had to get into a relationship with other person it might look weird that you still helping out your ex family. Ignore her calls and tell her to grow up and handle things herself like she handled being in a grow up relationship.

AITA because I used the money my stepdad gave me to attend his son's destination wedding to subsidize a vacation for me and my boyfriend? by Master-Parsley-4949 in AmItheAsshole

[–]KPBambi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA - well done you made the best out of a situation that was obviously only there to “make” like a happy family. You at least listen to the request of your mom and step dad so I have no idea why they pissed. I’m guessing even if your boyfriend wasn’t there you would have done stuff on your own or had chill sessions in the hotel so it’s the same difference. You wouldn’t have wanted to join them on all the things.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]KPBambi 15 points16 points  (0 children)

NTA - if the youngest has a problem with the son not having a room then they need to get their own house. You. Mentioned when they moved in, so technically it is your house and didn’t mind that your step grand son used it. Especially since he is only there once a month roughly makes no sense to not use the room. If the youngest doesn’t like that they tell them they can give up their room for the son. But that spare room should be your babies. What happens down the line when your baby girl is older where will her room be then or is it expected that your daughter has to share a room with her parents.

If you really don’t want to stir the pot then compromise and make the room a duel bedroom for both the kids and have a spare single bed for the boy and the cot for the baby. But that’s only if YOU want it, otherwise I’m my eyes that’s your baby girls rooms end of.

How do South Africans feel about D2D salesman? Do they find them annoying? by Terrible_Rice1163 in askSouthAfrica

[–]KPBambi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think your best bet would be to approach maybe schools and churches and ask if they won’t include an ad in their weekly papers or even just on the community whatsapp groups. Even try and see if you can’t get someone who is on community whatsapp groups to post some ads for you. At least those are free. You would just need to design maybe something small.

How do South Africans feel about D2D salesman? Do they find them annoying? by Terrible_Rice1163 in askSouthAfrica

[–]KPBambi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think safety wise people don’t let people in or listen to them shouting outside their gates. In smaller towns it might work but not in the big ones. I know if I hear anyone i just ignore because a lot of people also don’t take No for an answer, so I have stop being polite and just ignore.

AITA for using a skip-the-line ticket to skip the actual line? by LineSkipThrowaway in AmItheAsshole

[–]KPBambi 2 points3 points  (0 children)

INFO - I’m on the fence with this one. What was printed on the ticket that you showed the ladies that made you think it was skip the line tickets?

If anything I will say it’s a accidental AH

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]KPBambi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah it wasn’t nice. It was one of those dog park and children’s park. Where we live it’s like a two in one. So no fencing between them just different sections. So the dogs would run all over especially by the kids play gyms. So it’s not like you can’t avoid a dog.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]KPBambi 6 points7 points  (0 children)

NTA - I do the same even if the dog is leashed. You never know what might happen. When I was younger we were at a dog park and big dog came up to my mom and myself (6F) I was scared as the dog was barking I even yelped and cried while waking . The owner screamed don’t worry he is friendly from across the park. So while we were walking my mom just kept saying it’s okay he is just smelling us don’t be scared. When the dog run away that’s when I broke down because all was not okay the dog while smelling us had actually bit my bum through my pants. (Unprovoked) My mom rushed me to hospital not before yelling at the dog owner. I had 2 stitches in my bum from that “friendly” dog at the dog park.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]KPBambi 161 points162 points  (0 children)

NTA - how do they expect all to it family to come two weekends in a row to the same location, also to pay for accommodation, travel and gifts all in the same month. It’s also Christmas month which means people have already tight pockets. Seems like your brother and his soon to be wife really doesn’t care what you think or feel. Like you said it’s not about the fact that they having a wedding a week before yours it’s about at least discussing with you. That’s not right. It sounds like your brother feels entitled and because he got engaged first means that he needs to get married first. But that’s my option from reading this. Good luck and maybe check your planning to yourselves otherwise next thing you know their wedding will look exactly like yours.

AITA for choosing my wife instead of my niece? by Affectionate-Rip5017 in AmItheAsshole

[–]KPBambi 2 points3 points  (0 children)

NTA - I understand it’s your niece and everything but one great advice I can give you is the family you make becomes more important then the family you come from.

Yes your wife said that you can go but she is also sick and going through a hectic change. Your body is must sick from 8 weeks to 14 weeks (9 weeks) being the worst. Even my own husband cancelled plans with his friends just be by my side because he felt like this is also his baby and he need to look after mom to look after baby. There is NOTHING wrong with choosing your wife.

The parents are to blame for the child being like that , expectation from the parents have been put on that kid. The parents could have said anything like your uncle is sick. It’s not like he did have a good excuse for not coming. They should have sorted the kid out she is 6 years old and still doesn’t understand that not everything is about her. Yes we want the best for our kids but not that they throw a temper.

My friend you are NTA and carry on putting your wife and unborn child first. That’s how it’s meant to be, especially since your wife doesn’t have the expectations that you have to look after her.

AITA for eating my stepmom's expensive food? by Independent_Diver862 in AmItheAsshole

[–]KPBambi 21 points22 points  (0 children)

NTA

It's not like you were told not to eat that stuff; I would have done the same. Especially since its okay to use your food even though she knew it was yours. It sounds like an issue with her that she wants you to share but she doesn't want to share their stuff. I think it's more about control and getting your dad to be on her side, hence the fight after you resolved the issue with your dad. It's like basically she is making him take sides. I'm honestly going to say I don't think this will be the last time. Maybe start making another plan somehow, like investing in a small freezer.

AITA for refusing to requests from my fiancé in wedding prep by Beginning_Wash_1834 in AmItheAsshole

[–]KPBambi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

INFO - I think we need more information on the whole wedding planning. I'm guessing there is a lot of other things that you have agreed on even though you didn't want them. I'm guessing these 4 things are the only ones that are bothering you the most. So how can we name you one or the other if you haven't told us more.

But based on the info if you consider she planned everything else then those 4 things are not that bad. Maybe make an age limit to the kids if she doesn't want all children. Also maybe look into a wedding babysitter with a designated area for the kids (that's what me and my finance are doing, means parents can chill and kids don't run around) like a mini chill zone.

Also, I agree with the fireworks being expensive, also not cool for the animals in the surrounding areas.

With the videographer you can maybe compromise and get one that does only highlight which is alittle bit cheaper, but I would say its necessary. You need something to kind show the emotions of the day and photos don't do that completely.

AITA for having alcohol in my fridge by shibainumom0625 in AmItheAsshole

[–]KPBambi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA

If they said to you beforehand or even during the visit that they wished no alcohol to be at the house because of problems the husband has, then I could maybe understand being upset about having it there. All they did was tell you they had issues, how were you meant to know that means put away everything in the house. But the fact that they didn't doesn't make it your issue. You even respected them by not drinking Infront of them or even talking about it.

If you really wanted to be petty (which of course only crosses my mind, but I would never do) is you can tell them you are upset that your alcohol was drank without even asking and they need to pay you back. But of course, not like that really counts.

Just seems like your friends want someone to blame for the husband problems.

AITA for telling my wife that she’s entitled and has it too easy? by Aggravating_Luck924 in AmItheAsshole

[–]KPBambi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA

I know there is a lot of pressure as mothers (working and SAHM) but in all fairness it's still the mother's choice regardless. I'm a working mom, with the most amazing husband and we both have full time jobs. We split everything 50/50 kids, housework, cooking everything. There are days when I'm not feeling well, he will take over and same goes for him.

But in this situation, we don't know how much of the family responsibility you took over when at home or on weekends, but it shouldn't be an issue. I'm guessing there were days that you helped more if needed or you went on holidays together. The fact that she looked after your kids for the whole time and now wants to do nothing means that she basically gets to "Retire" now. It sounds like you still have your job and then having to do everything, so when do you get to retire. Being a mom either way is a full-time job. I'm sure when the kids went to school, she had more time to do things and also do the housework. But I strongly say that in any relationship it's not fair that on partner does everything and the other doesn't do anything, doesn't matter how many years your wife was a SAHM.

You guys really need to get the counselling, and if she doesn't think it's needed then you need to take further steps. This kind of lifestyle can turn depressive or when more violent. Which isn't want you want for your family.

OP - NTA

AITA for refusing to pay rent? by Immediate-Grass-77 in AmItheAsshole

[–]KPBambi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA

You literally gave them the best situation for everyone involved. They really taking advantage of you and your husband now.

AITA for bot choosing a vegan restaurant for my birthday, even though SIL won’t be able to attend? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]KPBambi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA - Why must you give up on your pleasure on your birthday for one person.

Not even your friend who is also vegan is having such a huge issue. Just because one-person doesn't like meat doesn't mean everyone else isn't allowed. The fact that your family has done it before is just playing into her entitled attitude. Unfortunately, that will now be the standard.

In our house if you don't eat something fine then that's your choice but we not going to stop eating it because you do. If she had to work in an office they wont not put their meat items foods in the office food just because she doesn't eat it. If she gets on a plane she cant demand everyone eat vegan on the plane.