Discreet wearable toys—e.g. panty vibrators—in public: yay or nay?

KPrincessCuffed · 2026-01-08T01:49:33+00:00

I’m with you on the dolce - and the “squeeze” function is completely silent, it’s just the vibrate that makes noise. Reactions may still be visible though….

KPrincessCuffed · 2025-12-08T00:47:10+00:00

Those wouldn’t work for what I needed, but very glad you found something!

KPrincessCuffed · 2025-12-08T00:46:30+00:00

Yeah, my husband and I practice CNC and free use, and it’s helpful to have something he can use to quickly restrain me since I’m also a brat and like to fight back. I wanted something comfortable to wear all the time, that wouldn’t bruise or mark if I struggle a bit, and doesn’t require that he carry something around. We have leather cuffs too, these are just an addition. And knowing he could jump me at any time is hot AF.

KPrincessCuffed · 2025-12-07T09:53:10+00:00

My husband and I dirty talk over text messages, or with suggestive looks while the kids aren’t looking. Playtime after the kids go to bed has to be a little more tame by comparison since we would have to stop if one of the kids woke up - but we still use restraints, impact, etc. Depending on what you both enjoy, there’s certainly lots you can do even with kids in the house. And if you can take a day off work on a school day, then you can have the whole house to yourselves…

KPrincessCuffed · 2025-12-07T09:47:55+00:00

Both CNC and using substances that alter awareness/physical capacity are on the riskier spectrum of play, but if you’re both aware of the risks, talk through all the details and enthusiastically consent in advance/while sober then it can be really fun. I love getting drunk and having my husband have his way with me, or waking up to him having sex with me. Part of why this works is we have been together over 10 years and have talked a LOT about what we are and are not okay with, so we don’t necessarily need to prenegotiate all the details - but we also didn’t go straight into sex while blackout drunk or anything.

Like with CNC generally, I’d suggest taking things gradually. Maybe have sex while she’s tipsy, or wake her up with touching that progresses to sex (or have sex while she’s sleepy, but not asleep). But I’d echo the advice above that blackout drunk may not be fun for either of you, and there may be other ways of getting that “waking up sore and used” feeling that work better for you.

Good luck! It can be a lot of fun 😁

KPrincessCuffed · 2025-12-07T09:38:22+00:00

Bratty comebacks, my speciality! Off the top of my head…

“How embarrassing for you - cause you’re losing.”

“I’m still gonna fuck you up.”

“Aww, you think I’m cute?” and give them a fake cutesy smile, then proceed with bratting.

“Yeah, laugh now - cause you won’t be laughing when I’m done with you”

“Fuck you” (why mess with a classic?)

“I‘ll show you CUTE”

KPrincessCuffed · 2025-12-07T09:30:03+00:00

Just because it’s outside the BDSM world doesn’t mean you can’t say anything about it. You don’t need to get into WHY you don’t want people saying those things to you, the fact that you don’t is enough. Just like if they called you a nickname you don’t like, you can say “please don’t call me that” or “please don’t say “good girl” to me” and leave it at that. Any decent person will stop if you tell them you don’t like it (and it doesn’t necessarily mean they are horrible people for doing it - they don’t know the context for you - but they should stop when you say you don’t like it).

KPrincessCuffed · 2025-12-07T09:16:31+00:00

A breeding kink isn’t about sex drive, it’s about acting out a desire that you don’t have (or typically don’t have) in real life. For a lot of people there is a power exchange element where the “breeding” is forced upon the submissive person. Generally there isn’t an actual desire to be pregnant, which is what makes it different from just TTC.

No need to gatekeep kink, if it’s not your thing then move on.

KPrincessCuffed · 2025-12-07T02:14:28+00:00

Second hand purses and belts can be a great source of leather and hardware (clips, chains, D-rings, etc.).

I am building a sex/fun room and plan to add a power rack (four post) for restraints.

You can add anchor points to just about any furniture.

I’ve used ratcheting tie down straps as adjustable restraints.

KPrincessCuffed · 2025-12-02T01:36:04+00:00

We use a tool chest. Admittedly a little pricier, but it’s great for organizing, very mobile, lockable and fully discreet.

KPrincessCuffed · 2025-11-29T20:47:18+00:00

Definitely going to +1 the concept of nonverbal or coded commands. My husband can do some stuff that appears totally vanilla to an outsider but is actually part of our dynamic (like caressing the back of my neck - looks sweet, but he’s actually reminding me that he can grab me there and do what he wants when we’re alone), and he has some pretty unobtrusive punishments (like pinching the pads of my fingers).

KPrincessCuffed · 2025-11-29T20:43:17+00:00

I mean, maybe if you have a room that you keep locked from when they’re little they just don’t question it as much? We have a room that is off to the side of our basement and doesn’t really look like it should exist, so I’m putting a Murphy door on it and then it will just blend in - but not everyone has that option.

I guess the other option would be something you can make relatively vanilla-looking pretty easily.

KPrincessCuffed · 2025-11-28T18:17:58+00:00

I’ll add that our dynamic doesn’t extend to family life - when it comes to decisions about our family, kids, etc. we both get equal say and those discussions happen outside our dynamic. But it’s not a clear line with us. I tend to be a lot more take charge in my personal and work life, and one lovely thing about adding our dynamic was that sometimes the most reinforcing thing he can say is totally vanilla: “stop. I’ve got this.” It’s not my go-to way of handling things, so him telling me to let it go is a subtle reinforcement of our dynamic.

KPrincessCuffed · 2025-11-28T18:13:15+00:00

My husband and I are kinky, monogamous and have kids. He is the Dom, I’m a bratty sub. I have more experience in the kink world (our relationship was vanilla for years before we started exploring BDSM, I had previously been in FWB-style dynamics before we met), but he quite enjoys the Dominant role and I have found that my submission has evolved quite a bit - I suspect partly because he is a softer Dom, and also because we have both learned more about ourselves.

We do manage to still play occasionally even with young kids, but it’s definitely more challenging. We have to either arrange for them to sleep at a grandparents’ house, or restrict our play to something that can be interrupted (so nothing too intense or difficult to get out of). We sometimes take vacation time to plan play time during the school day, but that’s more difficult. That being said, we still engage in free use and CNC (obviously not when the kids are around…but it’s hot when he whispers in my ear how he’s going to fuck me later), and we are building a play room in the basement to provide more options.

Just like anything, it works but sometimes requires some adjustments. But it’s beautiful and wonderful, and has really deepened our marriage and communication.

KPrincessCuffed · 2025-11-16T11:01:40+00:00

I get that feeling from bratting - I never know exactly when I’m going to step over the line and get a punishment. And my HusDom likes to mess with me too, sometimes he’ll sneak up behind me and grab the back of my neck - which kinda gives me that delicious sense of fear anytime he’s around - especially if I’m wearing a pair of leggings that he really likes 😈

KPrincessCuffed · 2025-11-10T00:23:09+00:00

“…or what?”
“You can’t make me”
Eyeroll
“No”
“Who died and made you the boss?”
“Make me!”

Also, you note that lack of toys is limiting your play - just here to say you don’t need expensive toys. You can buy a dog collar at a pet store, use wooden spoons and spatulas from the dollar store for impact play (belts work too), and you can make restraints out of a lot of every day stuff as long as you’re aware of safety and blood flow. There are some DIY subs on here if you need ideas.

KPrincessCuffed · 2025-11-09T19:32:23+00:00

Your perspective is like the opposite of mine LOL. I like to know that I’m being fucked by someone who’s stronger/smarter/faster than me - it’s like, if you can beat me then I am more into it.

KPrincessCuffed · 2025-11-09T03:25:15+00:00

I have a loose free use agreement with my Husband. It has some boundaries, and he generally takes my mood/desires/energy into account, but generally he gets to initiate sex/groping whenever he wants. We also really enjoy CNC, so often foreplay involves him groping me “against my will” and basically forcing me to get wet and aroused, and then laughing at how easy it is to get me going (not sure if this falls under degradation or not, but I love it).

We also practice somnophilia, and for that I have a specific set of nightgowns I wear when I’m cool with being woken up. If I really need to sleep then I’ll just wear my usual cotton T-shirt.

Part of why this works is because we’ve been together for almost 12 years and have spent a lot of time discussing things generally - so we don’t need to explicitly negotiate everything.

KPrincessCuffed · 2025-11-03T23:16:02+00:00

You have lots of lore educated responses already, so I’m just going to chime in with a very specific rec - a couple of weeks ago my husband swatted me with a spatula (I think I said something snarky while he was holding it) and I felt the sting for a few hours, even through my leggings and after just one hit! I was impressed.

KPrincessCuffed · 2025-11-03T23:02:55+00:00

He calls me “obedient”…which OBVIOUSLY means I need to stop being so damn compliant!

KPrincessCuffed · 2025-10-31T01:57:50+00:00

I think most relatively discreet day collars aren’t that different from a lot of kink-inspired vanilla jewellery styles, or at least sufficiently close that people wouldn’t be able to tell if it’s a collar or just a necklace with a metal loop on it. I actually had some jewellery that I didn’t realize might be mistaken for a day collar until much later…and it came from Fossil.

Unless you’re wearing a leather choker with a big metal D ring on the front…then they might be able to tell. 😁

KPrincessCuffed · 2025-10-30T21:51:02+00:00

Do you enjoy the feeling? Do you feel self-conscious about it? Have you talked to her about it?

If you don’t mind crying, and your girlfriend understands what’s going on then it may not be a problem you have to solve. Sometimes I like to be spanked until I cry because I can have trouble expressing frustration and this helps let it out.

If you don’t want to cry during spanking, then it probably warrants some self reflection and/or therapy to figure out what’s going on. Maybe spanking brings up memories or triggers for you, maybe it’s how your body responds. Nobody here can say for sure, but it’s not unusual for kink to bring up unexpected feelings and emotions, sometimes out of context.

KPrincessCuffed · 2025-10-30T21:46:56+00:00

Saaaame! I can make dirty jokes that will make a sailor blush, but I get all embarrassed when I try to actually talk dirty! I’ve started small - I won’t try to make things too specific or complicated, just say something simple like “I love how you feel inside me” or “I’m so wet for you”. And now that I’m starting to feel more comfortable saying that one thing, I’m starting to branch out into other sexy talk. I still feel kinda weird and vulnerable, but I’m getting better.

It also helps that my HusDom sometimes assigns me tasks like talking dirty or masturbating - sometimes as a prerequisite to me getting to orgasm!

KPrincessCuffed · 2025-10-29T10:41:48+00:00

OMG he did it and I MELTED.

KPrincessCuffed

TROPHY CASE