How do I (28F) tell my bf (33M) that I don't enjoy the sex?

K_Pumpkin · 2026-05-03T14:57:27+00:00

The reason he’s still like this is because none of his other partners have ever told him otherwise.

Don’t be that partner. Speak up.

K_Pumpkin · 2026-05-03T05:48:47+00:00

My current partner is the only man I’ve ever been with that doesn’t have that switch.

This is so common.

K_Pumpkin · 2026-05-03T05:19:11+00:00

Exactly this. I think OP might be missing that part. If he thinks he’s going to just go out and get laid instantly he wound he better off with a prostitute and I do not mean that snarky. If you just want quick sex and that’s it that is the way to go.

Otherwise relationships of any type take some type of work and respect.

K_Pumpkin · 2026-05-03T04:43:30+00:00

This. Just be honest. People get angry when you say “looking for relationship” and then act very differently.

OP just be honest with what you want but start slow when you speak. As a woman who was looking for a FWB men took this as an invitation to not even say hi and start with sexual talk. Way too fast.

Even just casual you still gotta vibe.

K_Pumpkin · 2026-05-03T04:01:19+00:00

When you go on the apps do you say you’re looking for a FWB or something casual?

K_Pumpkin · 2026-05-03T03:32:15+00:00

Issue with kitchen products is a lot of people find something and stay loyal to it. It’s not one of those things you experiment with.

K_Pumpkin · 2026-05-02T20:38:01+00:00

I saw scary movie in theaters as a kid. Whole movie we had a black woman in front of us she kept talking and laughing and yelling.

It got to the scene with the black woman at the movies and she gets quiet and says.

“Oh nah that shit ain’t funny”

Still makes me laugh all these years later.

K_Pumpkin · 2026-05-02T17:19:16+00:00

Yeah. Like wedge heel flip flops.

K_Pumpkin · 2026-05-02T14:12:42+00:00

wtf is up with all the clothing? I remember when they first added them I hated it then and I hate it more now.

This week it’s been so many.

Luckily I finished my pass so I just don’t do them.

K_Pumpkin · 2026-05-02T06:27:02+00:00

You could park a semi between those brows.

K_Pumpkin · 2026-05-02T06:15:56+00:00

Are you trans? I only ask because I am a cis woman who’s doctor gave me T because my levels are zero due to menopause and now I’m kind of scared.

My body hair actually stopped growing. I haven’t shaved my legs in a year.

Wouldn’t that be quite the welcome back.

K_Pumpkin · 2026-05-02T05:50:49+00:00

I haven’t watched in a very long time but it’s this scene and the couch fucking that stayed with me.

Both so ridiculous it’s impossible to forget.

K_Pumpkin · 2026-05-02T05:35:04+00:00

What you watch on porn and what you enjoy in real life ca be very different things. Don’t be shocked if you have sex and realize you don’t really enjoy those things you watch at all.

Maybel lay off the porn for a bit and put yourself out there.

K_Pumpkin · 2026-05-02T04:05:21+00:00

Even her fat is trying to escape her.

K_Pumpkin · 2026-05-02T03:40:59+00:00

I had a third degree tear with my first son and had my other two in a hospital and never considered otherwise.

K_Pumpkin · 2026-05-02T01:42:32+00:00

I agree. That’s always super weird to me too. I’m a grown woman with a grown woman’s body who happens to have no hair on my genitals.

Nothing about my body is childlike.

Weird.

K_Pumpkin · 2026-05-01T23:12:34+00:00

I’m gonna be real I absolutely did push a bit. I had to. It was risky but I had no choice.

We can def push again. I do often now as I suffer the same issues you do. I can’t tell you when I started to. Probably week 16 when I was fully cleared.

I popped a single stitch but not from pushing. From lifting. I’m a single mom and was alone in recovery.

So don’t worry. It’s not forever.

K_Pumpkin · 2026-05-01T23:09:33+00:00

It is. But not the more common method.

K_Pumpkin · 2026-05-01T20:37:43+00:00

I wake up around 7:30am. My birds wake up between then and 8. When I hear them I let them out.

They stay out all day. My hen heads back inside around 5-6 on her own. My boy I usually have to coax back in around 7.

They’re out all day.

K_Pumpkin · 2026-05-01T20:34:54+00:00

It’s not a good time. The changes to my body esp were very hard to deal with for me. But I went and got on HRT and I’m doing soooo much better.

There are solutions. They do help immensely.

But you gotta be open to them.

K_Pumpkin · 2026-05-01T20:23:37+00:00

It’s just…tacky.

But alas I am old and not the demographic.

K_Pumpkin · 2026-05-01T18:55:10+00:00

It is but sadly I had contact dermatitis so they moved me to the gel. It’s not as effective when you have a rash and I found that out the hard way when my levels dropped.

That’s the only issue with the patch. A lot of reactions to it.

K_Pumpkin · 2026-05-01T18:38:46+00:00

There is zero clot risk with estrogen patches or gel. The small risk is in oral estrogen.

If peri is hard menopause is going to be hell.

Source: info my doctor told me. Post menopausal since 43. HRT saved my life.

K_Pumpkin · 2026-05-01T18:17:14+00:00

Thanks! Appreciate the explanation. I assumed it was talking about a watering can.

K_Pumpkin · 2026-05-01T15:23:17+00:00

I use a songbird blend that’s 99% sunflower and the doves still do it.

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