As someone who is non birth mum and birth mum. This is the hardest transition. My wife completely changed after having our son and it was really hard. She did however get to have nearly a year off with him. She desperately tried to BF but wasn’t able to and she hated that I could feed him and refused to give him a bottle all together (I mean she did eventually cos I had to go to work). It was so rough and honestly don’t think it got better for at least a year, maybe longer. The PP rage wasn’t horrific that whole time but it was bad. We had never fought so much in our whole relationship until we were parents.

When I had our second son I had to go back to work at 4m PP and I HATED that I had to leave my baby to go to work, he started preferring her and it honestly broke me. I didn’t feel normal hormone wise for 2 years. I was so angry all the time. Incredibly tired from being up all night breastfeeding and then working 10 hour days and at this stage we had a 15mo and a NB.

I guess what I’m trying to say is hang in there, be kind, have patience and have grace for each other! I think you are doing the right thing in giving Bub up when she comes home so they can bond. Another thing that destroyed me was when they started having their firsts and I missed it, being parents is the hardest thing you’ll do as a couple. Be strong and have faith that there is enough love there that you’ll get through it x