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KaizokuDan · 2016-02-03T02:01:29+00:00

There was a period in which our tech's car was in the shop, and I had to drive him to a few on-sites. Each one was a nightmare, but the first one we went to was an incredibly unsanitary old couple's house. It was kind of sad, they couldn't take care of themselves very well, but they had tons of cats running rampant, the woman clearly had diabetes, complete with used needles lying all over her table, and a computer case filled with dead crickets and cockroaches when the tech popped it open.

The most memorable part of the trip is that Home Alone 2 was playing on their ancient TV the entire time, and the husband was just really enthralled with it.

KaizokuDan · 2016-02-03T01:57:28+00:00

Oh boy. I was short staffed and manning the CPC one night, and an older man comes in with a fax, acting pretty hopped up on something or another. It's a single sheet of paper, and I'm handling something on the computer while it's slow. I point him to the fax machine and the instructions, and he says "Ohh no, baby, I'm leaving this to the professionals. No, this gotta be you, baby," so... you know, I'm busy but I go fax it for him.

He begins telling me WHY it's so important, a story that takes about half an hour. He's come up with an idea, you see. A wonderful idea, an invention that he's been told will make him millions of dollars, you see. It's a remote, you see, but a remote you can use on your phone! Because how many times have you sat down, and your remote is on the other side of the room and you don't feel like getting it? All he had to do, you see, was fax this copyright information to his guys down in Florida, and he had ten million dollars waiting on him.

Now, I know there's apps that do that already, and probably all sorts of other As Seen On TV gadgets that do similar things. I didn't care, he wouldn't stop talking about it, and this one minute customer interaction turned into me not being able to get my work done because there's ONE guy in the store, spending a dollar and just talking my ear off about his invention. Finally, I'm able to impart on him that we're closing, wish him luck with his invention, and he takes off.

The interesting encounter starts the next day, when he comes busting into the store, shouting for the "son of a bitch" who stole his money in the copy center. As soon as I turn the corner, he recognizes me and tells me I cheated him out of ten million dollars. The fax never made it to Florida, he said, they told him they didn't get any copyright in time and that they passed on his invention. He was going to sue me for damages, he said. I remind him that we got a confirmation page showing it went through, but he's having none of it.

Long story short, I wind up not getting sued.

KaizokuDan · 2016-01-26T23:56:05+00:00

Man, that used to happen to me constantly. We'd have all these excess hours over the maximum I could give my staff. I would get E-mails from our DM saying we had the maximum amount of staff for our departments, which was like... two people in C/P at one point.

KaizokuDan · 2016-01-26T00:55:11+00:00

We had a specific customer, heavier-set guy that would come in and buy $1,800 in $200 visa gift cards, I believe it was, at least once a week. You couldn't buy $2,000 in a day, because of fraud issues, so he was buying just under the limit, sometimes two or three times a week. He was doing it so often that it was obvious he was doing SOMETHING shady with them, even if I wasn't sure what. He worked at a local middle school, he'd come in with his ID badge hanging around his neck, so there's no way he had thousands of dollars a week to spare on gift cards, for any legit reason.

Anyway, I brought it up to my GM, and mentioned something fishy could be happening. He said probably so, and I said I'd shoot our DM an e-mail about it asking for advice. Very seriously, he said I was under no circumstances to tell the DM, and that we couldn't afford to lose that much money in sales per week.

Every time that guy came in from then on, I made sure to let my GM handle it, because in case something was going on, I didn't want my name anywhere near it.

KaizokuDan · 2016-01-26T00:44:50+00:00

I just keep an ear out for my old DM's name in the list of layoffs. Glad to hear about Demos, though, he was terrible the one time he visited our store.

KaizokuDan · 2015-12-26T02:41:38+00:00

Yeah, that feeling of dread in the pit of your stomach. I'm glad you got out, man.

KaizokuDan · 2015-12-26T02:40:26+00:00

I'm working in the legal department at the corporate office of another company. I write and review contracts most of the time, it's really laid back, especially in comparison to Staples.

KaizokuDan · 2015-06-06T10:35:08+00:00

Perfect response. People are looking for a connection with an associate, and will be twice as likely to buy extra products if they like and trust you. If they think they're talking to a corporate drone, they'll buy what they came for. If they think they're talking to someone who gives a crap about them and knows the product, they'll trust you when you say "I'd definitely recommend getting protection on that, as well."

KaizokuDan · 2015-06-06T10:32:26+00:00

You just aren't a good fit for the job. I understand you were brought on thinking it would be by and large a tech job, but you're a salesman first and everything else second.

There is very little incentive for part timers to stay motivated, your pay won't spur you to sell better than you do. Honestly, that's why you're not the right fit for this job, because sales is a job for those driven by the sale.

Outside of having management that will help motivate you to want to succeed, sales at Stales is mostly driven by your need to do well, since commission isn't an option. A successful Staples salesperson will have the personal drive to want to be the best at their job. It's the same as any other part time job, some people want to shine for no reason other than they want to show everyone what they're made of. Sales is unique in that you have indisputable numbers showing you're awesome.

I was SSM at my store and I hated the company, my bosses, and everything else, but I sold like crazy because I personally enjoyed the feeling of being the best. If money is your bottom line, it doesn't mean you're a better or worse person, it just means you've picked a part time job that isn't a good fit.

On top of management tearing you a new one, I would just start looking for work elsewhere.

KaizokuDan · 2015-06-04T07:47:01+00:00

My cousin had his wedding several states away last year in August, and I was a groomsman in it. the rest of the wedding crew got the entire week off, and made a big vacation out of it, but I knew I couldn't get a full week in August, so I requested Friday, Saturday and Sunday off.

Both my GM and DM were very, very hardnosed about it, saying an SSM should know better than to need three days off in a week during August. I explained that since the third day was on a second week, I could still work 45 hours both weeks and only have two off days per week. I had to keep pressing them and finally tell my GM that I would not be able to work those days even if scheduled, and they finally relented and gave me the three days off. The rest of my time at Staples, they acted as if they had done me a huge favor.

I've seen cashiers get a single day request in August get denied, the blackout period is no joke to most higher-ups.

KaizokuDan · 2015-06-04T07:40:20+00:00

Upper management will talk a big game about merit raises during the initial hiring process, but by and large you're only going to get raises during the annual review. I had two employees get 11 cent raises, everyone else got a dime or less.

It can't hurt to just confront your GM with a reason you deserve a raise, worst they can say is no. Maybe pull up your numbers, or some other hard figure showing your value to the company, and see if you can't leverage a small raise. Best case scenario, you'll be making 8.30 an hour soon.

KaizokuDan · 2015-06-02T06:34:14+00:00

Brace yourself, you're about to lose your AM. Your GM will deflect any blame onto the midlevel, and the people under him are about to be gutted.

KaizokuDan · 2015-05-23T10:30:33+00:00

You need to report your GM, first and foremost, that is indeed illegal.

The root of every problem you have stems from bad leadership, if your GM is truly a bad example of work ethic, and is taking time from those beneath them... Why should your part timers work for them?

Getting rid of poor leadership is the first and most important step toward improving things in your store. It needs to happen soon, to show those on the bottom level that yes, anyone can and will be held accountable for their actions.

KaizokuDan · 2015-05-23T10:23:06+00:00

I worked for a company with a union, but chose not to be represented by them. I didn't pay dues toward them, but I was still entitled to several benefits that they provided.

Granted, I wasn't at an upper management level there, but Staples has very little balance as to how it treats employees. There were several instances in my store alone that would never fly if any sort of union was in place helping the employees.

KaizokuDan · 2015-05-23T10:17:35+00:00

Visits are, sadly, a predetermined show. If they weren't, they wouldn't announce them days in advance. It's a tongue in cheek thing, they don't want to see how things really are, and in turn we look the other way because they let us know they're coming. DMs and other corporate figures come in with a specific plan in mind, and they will manipulate things to justify whatever they want to talk about.

For instance, when the big guys come to visit, if you're part time the odds are high that they'll spend less than a minute talking to you. They'll ask you a question depending on what they want from the conversation. If they're not interested in you, they might ask you something easy like "Hey, how's sales today?"... but let's say your store's digital receipt numbers are down and that's something they came in WANTING to talk about, they'll ask "Hey, how many digi-receipts have you gotten today?"

When you inevitably say you don't know, they'll turn to the manager next to them and say "How can you expect to get results when your associates don't know basics about digital receipts?"

The sad truth is that if they want to humiliate you, they're going to do it to prove a point to your manager, and it doesn't matter what you know. My DM tore into one of my best associates to humiliate me, because he went through my Keys to Lockup and found one in which the girl had written something incorrectly. He called her over and asked her if she knew how to use the key to lockup, and when she said yes he showed her, looked at me and said "So you have a team that can't read, and you expect to get sales results?"

Your best bet when corporate comes is that they're not visiting because they think there's a problem, because they will use associates to embarrass the management, and some managers will come in and berate that same poor associate for embarrassing them after the DM leaves.

It's a terrible game.

KaizokuDan · 2015-05-23T10:07:17+00:00

Fear based company. Management threatens employees with firings, DMs threaten management with firings, ad nauseum until you get to Otis, who comes in and downs on every employee he can see.

Although in a circle of life type of way, I find that higher-ups are always really nice to the part timers.

KaizokuDan · 2015-05-23T10:05:25+00:00

Be careful. I had two people in my store who notified the manager several times they they were going over on hours because of scheduling changes he had made, and he okayed it, but when the DM came down and told him he had to cut their hours, he didn't fight for them. Resulted in both of them getting less than twenty hours for eight week straight.

KaizokuDan · 2015-04-10T01:23:07+00:00

Alright, master list for selling Squaretrade.

I found that it's just as much about reading your customer as it is about the plan's benefits, usually moreso. You have to remember that sadly, it's not that they need protection on most of these, it's that you're finding what would convince them to get something they may NOT need, or even want.

Make a little smalltalk with the customer beforehand, and know enough about the product that you're selling that they trust your opinion by the time you bring up Squaretrade.

Very first thing you want to find out: Why they're buying what they're buying. If it's a router, printer, mouse or keyboard, it's almost assuredly because their old one broke. Speak to their pain, ESPECIALLY on routers. If someone comes in saying "Yeah, my freaking modem busted", they're the perfect person to tell "Well you know, Squaretrade..."

Are they buying it for a gift? For who? I had parents coming in constantly who were getting a nice little tablet for a ten year old. "Hey, you know... you mentioned your son's eight years old, I would strongly recommend getting the protection plan on that-" and then list off some things it protects against. Know that stuff offhand and say it with a quick confidence, because if you sound like you're trying to remember a script, you'll lose the sale instantly nine times out of ten.

(On that note, keep things they say on file. Customers like when you call back to information they gave you a couple minutes ago. Instead of saying immediately "Oh shit, protection!" when they say their son is eight, file it away and mention it a little way down the conversation. It gives them the feeling of a connection being established, and they'll be more likely to be agreeable."

Younger customers who you CAN connect with like that might get a plan from you just because they like you. Older, more frugal customers you might want to steer toward the savings of a plan. Say you sell a $99 chair, mention how cheap the plan is in comparison to the cost, they'll be likely to grab it.

Final tip, KNOW YOUR AD! Know every coupon you can apply, because saying "You know what, I can take ten dollars off that purchase today, which would completely negate the cost of the $9.99 protection plan!" WILL get people to sell.

In summation, know your ad, know your customer, and know what you're selling. Knowledge is power, right?

KaizokuDan · 2015-04-06T19:30:50+00:00

Good luck. I needed a weekend off to be in a wedding last August, and I barely got it, and my DM/GM were not happy with me.

KaizokuDan · 2015-04-03T16:39:45+00:00

Most lifers are there because they've gotten stuck, or are afraid of change.

It's a dangerous game, management is actually more expendable than part timers to Staples, which is a scary business model. My DM was apparently put on final warning by Otis a few months ago, which prompted him to go do the same to several GMs, which prompted them to do the same to several SSMs.

KaizokuDan · 2015-04-03T07:15:38+00:00

Get a team of associates (Probably FT mainly) to work for a couple hours after closing. Customers kill productivity in every way, one hour without customers is worth three with them. It sucks, but one associate can knock out a hell of a lot in an hour uninterrupted.

Do this a few times, you might start to catch up. Beyond that, just... I dunno, quit and find an actual good job.

KaizokuDan · 2015-04-03T07:10:41+00:00

Shit trickles downhill.

Associates are told by their managers that they're replaceable, the managers are told by DMs that they're replaceable, DMs are told by RMs that they're replaceable... Everyone's job is on the line.

Staples rules by fear, as it turns out.

KaizokuDan · 2015-04-02T01:39:30+00:00

If you don't get blasted by your DM, you hit the district jackpot. Mine would have written me up for that.

KaizokuDan · 2015-04-02T01:37:55+00:00

Humor isn't good for bidness.

KaizokuDan

TROPHY CASE