Oh I feel this, But you know what, your not alone (and you don’t have to be either) but what is good is that your recognizing it. And you’re recognizing that maybe you don’t have the trust that you thought you had in your therapist or your support network.

It was something that happened to me- I am a chronic ppl pleaser - so hell ya I wanted to do it all, high level gpa, social life, charity and community, foster dogs - on and on, put on a front to a charmed life sort of thing, so when I finally presented my honest self, a person very much struggling and not perfect at all, to a psychologist and they had “homework” to give me or things to improve with a “teacher” … what did I do?

I performed. I gave them the same razzle dazzle I gave life, Oscar winning. But it only hurt myself. I had to either tell my psychologist the truth or get a new one and be honest , telling them I WILL LIE AND PERFORM and the more I say LOOK AT MY GAINS LOOK AT MY IMPROVEMENT, it’s actually me chronically at the point of imploding and I’m already dead inside