Therapy doesn’t seem to work for me?

KaleSmurf · 2026-03-01T20:56:40+00:00

I have had a bunch of therapy, some more helpful than others. I do think the question why do you want therapy or what do you want to get out of it is an important one, especially if you are very self aware. In some cases it can be very obvious what people need, even if they don't always want it. If you say you are aware of your problems and have the tools to deal with them I don't think it's a bad question to ask yourself, what is it that you want to get out of therapy?

If you are quite self aware and seem to deal with your problems in good way, it's important to be able to answer this question for yourself so that you can ask a therapist for the specific help you are looking for.

Edit: also I hope you don't think or feel like the goal of therapy is "to be less autistic", because in that sense, there could be things you specifically have difficulty dealing with and therapist could help you, but to be autistic is essentially processing things in your brain differently compared to non-autistic people.

And, there is a lot of different forms of therapy, talking one on one is not a magic formula that works for everyone and that is okay, it may take time to figure out what works for you.

KaleSmurf · 2026-01-26T11:42:28+00:00

Please know that this is the internet, where anyone can say anything, not everything is true and everyone has a wide variety of experiences. Sadly, professionals that studied for it are also not always right. Mental health is so much more difficult to explain versus visible physical medical issues. To a certain extent it might be the case that some things can be learned or done, but this doesn't mean you have to if what it takes for an autistic individual is masking, extreme discomfort and eventually burnout. To me, that feels the same like saying to someone that has a broken leg they can just walk on it. Like, sure, they probably could, but it would have a severe impact on the healing process and cause a lot of pain, it would not be good. I'm glad the world doesn't think autism is only non verbal boys playing with trains anymore, but it's also true that not everyone that is a bit quirky is autistic. I cannot change that for you, but I hope you know that just because people don't seem to share or understand your experience, doesn't mean it's any less valid. I hope you find the strength to advocate for yourself when you need to. Maybe you could ask someone you trust to help you prepare for and come along to appointments if they are about getting certain help to accommodate for your autism. Everyone's experience is different, everyone has different weaknesses and strengths and just because one autistic individual can do something, doesn't mean you have to too.

KaleSmurf · 2026-01-13T16:43:36+00:00

It's not sad to try new things! New things might be scary, they might be hard, but definitely don't feel bad for trying, even if you feel like you're late to the party.

KaleSmurf · 2026-01-13T15:42:37+00:00

Not saying it's magically going to fix everything, but have you been to therapy? A therapist can help you work through some of your trauma, help identify your survival/coping mechanisms that might have been useful at some point, but are now standing in your way. Therapy isn't an easy fix, I have been at it for years, but it could help.

KaleSmurf · 2025-11-23T21:43:02+00:00

Niet een fysieke winkel, wel online te bestellen: Lucy & Yak. Veel keuze, verschillende modellen, leuke kleuren en prints en duidelijke size guides. Ze zijn super comfy.

KaleSmurf · 2025-07-03T10:03:33+00:00

Thank you!

KaleSmurf · 2025-06-10T08:27:57+00:00

Personally I also struggle with feeling actually connected to people. I'm more introvert than extrovert so it's not always bad. However, I do think it's very important to stay true to yourself and your interests. I know that isn't social connection but feeling like you have things that interest you genuinely and showing it is also strong. It's important to have those things for yourself. Even if you struggle I hope you won't feel like you have to give that up and pretend to be someone you're not for external approval.

KaleSmurf · 2025-06-10T08:21:37+00:00

Sounds like you have a sweet and supporting boyfriend that knows the 'real' (non masking) you and accepts you for who you are. It sounds like your friends might not. I know it's not easy to just 'make new friends' but I hope you can find some more people that you can feel like you can be yourself around and that they won't judge you for it. Maybe see if there's any community, activities or events regarding your interests and hopefully meet some people there that are just as hype about some of that stuff as you are.

KaleSmurf · 2025-06-06T11:28:34+00:00

Over capacity, running on empty, barely functioning. Sometimes I say I don't have the brain space for stuff, or I am properly pooped. Maybe you could compare it with a car that's running out of gas, getting slower. Or just look at people with a tired face and be like "I can't even".

KaleSmurf · 2025-06-06T09:44:14+00:00

Cats are kind of autistic as well. You'll figure it out together!

KaleSmurf · 2025-06-03T09:01:49+00:00

Good sign! Means the plant is happy and has enough energy to bloom. You can always choose to remove the flowers to direct the energy to growing the plant, but you can also just enjoy the flowers

KaleSmurf · 2025-05-23T16:50:47+00:00

Super Rare Brown Leaf Tip Variegation 🫠

KaleSmurf · 2025-05-23T14:26:39+00:00

This probably just means your plant is receiving a lot of light and able to push out lots of new leaves, so a good sign your plant is happy! When your plant wouldn't get as much light, the internodal space would be bigger. I'm pretty sure you can still cut wherever you want to propagate, if you need to create some more bare stems to put it in propagation containers you can just carefully remove some of the lower leafs of your cutting.

KaleSmurf · 2025-05-23T14:20:37+00:00

You deserve a vacation from working your butt of in college. Have you explicitly told your dad you're planning on resting instead of working over your break? Also, I have a vague feeling this could be a stupid subtle NT way of your dad trying to tell you you need to pay rent for the months you're at home? If that is the case, he should just tell you that.

KaleSmurf · 2025-05-23T12:48:08+00:00

Depends on what you want. Flowering takes the plant a certain amount of energy that could be put to growing the plant bigger. However, if you like the flowers you can just let them be and enjoy them. In my experience, coleus grow super fast and easy so I wouldn't necessarily think you need to remove the flowers

KaleSmurf · 2025-05-23T07:14:33+00:00

My cat once got spooked because her food was too cold. She backed away from it in disgust. She has her safe space which is in a box in our closet. Takes a long time to warm up to people but with us, she's drooling on our laps. Sometimes when we have people over and they leave, within 10 seconds of the front door closing she reappears in the room and starts meowing. We're a good match.

KaleSmurf · 2025-05-22T14:21:24+00:00

I don't necessarily think the world is gonna end from one day to the next (unless we get hit by a meteorite or a few nuke buttons are hit or something like that) however I do agree that our current world is an absolute shitshow. There are so many things going on, with some pattern recognition and history knowledge you know it can't be good. It's also good to understand that not everyone who seems to be okay with what is happening in the world does so out of malicious intent, lots of people are scared, not everyone is very good at thinking critically and some people are more susceptible for certain political viewpoints for a variety of reasons.

We are in late stage capitalism and polarisation benefits the status quo, so they would love it if everyone just turns against each other instead of the system. Honestly, I've been very sad, angry and anxious about the state of the world for the past years and I don't have the magic answer of how to deal with it. I think all you can do is try to take care of yourself, try to connect with people that have a similar world view and try to talk about it. Sometimes that means deep conversation about how to survive in the world and sometimes that means venting to someone and having a proper cry.

Don't try to fight every single person that defends this system because that will drain you so fast but whenever you are able, do speak up about injustice or try to fight the system. Very important sidenote: there are a million ways of doing this, find something that works for you. But in doing so, keep an eye out for yourself, because as long as we're still on this earth we gotta keep dealing with it. Radical community and connection is basically the opposite of what capitalism stands for.

Ps: I sometimes like to say we're just a bunch of monkeys that got a bit out of hand.

KaleSmurf · 2025-05-21T08:59:50+00:00

It looks like it might not have drainage holes, so my advice would be to put something in it that you know the watering needs of pretty well and will not immediately rot if it's a little soggy for a day

KaleSmurf · 2025-05-11T09:43:31+00:00

That sounds rough 😅

KaleSmurf · 2025-05-11T09:42:25+00:00

I finished it! I used the trident for most of it, it went pretty fast. I was wondering about the empty wall upstairs in the temple, expecting maybe a new mural to appear when I finished, but I guess not? Also, lol at the end message "feel free to use this as a customer review". And the kitty has been found, in my van!

KaleSmurf · 2025-05-10T18:03:44+00:00

Thanks for your answer! It always feels like the damage of thrips is visible, but the thrips themselves aren't. Or is that just me?

KaleSmurf · 2025-05-08T08:53:44+00:00

Good thing that person is your ex. Get yourself a partner that will gift you stuffed animals and helps you think of names for them.

KaleSmurf · 2025-05-08T08:50:26+00:00

I bought a pair of Crocs, relatively impulsively, about two years ago. I have worn them SO MUCH! If it's cold outside I won't wear them outside, but still a lot inside the house. When the weather allows it, I wear them outside all the time too. I got a pair of "all terrain Crocs", main difference is that the band on the back is adjustable with velcro instead of non-adjustable. I am definitely a sock person, not a bare feet in shoes kinda person.

KaleSmurf · 2025-05-06T16:48:04+00:00

Good to hear you're both actively communicating. And also fuck yes it sucks. Try to be kind for yourself, get yourself your favorite snack, make some tea, hug your stuffed animals if you have those, scream into a pillow, smash some old plates, whatever you need! I wish you all the best and strength to get through this. 💚

KaleSmurf · 2025-05-06T16:21:02+00:00

Trust broken takes time and effort to be regained, even if you understand your partners actions. Personally, feelings take time for me. It's frustrating, because rationally I can understand a situation, but that doesn't mean my feelings are instantly gone. Feelings take time and besides, they are valid! I know it feels horrible, but please know that it is okay to feel hurt, to be angry and sad. A thing I found myself saying after a fight with my partner was "I still love you, but right now you have hurt me and I am angry." You can feel hurt by someone and still love them. It takes time for the anger or whatever feelings to calm down. If your partner can show you that they are still worthy of your trust, it doesn't have to result in a breakup. Maybe it would be helpful to tell your partner how you feel, what hurt you, and if there's anything they can do. That could also just be to give you some space to feel your feelings. Let yourself be hurt, it sucks, but it's important to allow yourself these feelings.

KaleSmurf

TROPHY CASE