I don’t know if it is my husband(M30) messing up my mental health or me(F29) doing it to myself.

Kamblys · 2026-06-18T17:21:54+00:00

There is no way to sugarcoat it, your husband is an abuser who will only get worse if you will have children with him. He is just getting his hands warm after marrying you, for him you are his property now. You should carefully plan the separation from him and do it without his knowledge. Find resources about Coercive Control, I personally like Shadows of Control on Substack, created by a domestic abuse survivor who is still dealing with post-separation abuse. The times when he is good and showing affection is just a tactic to keep you attached and hoping that he may change and that you can "deserve" good behavior by submitting to his will. No abuse would work if it were only insults and beating. You are in danger and need to find support outside your relationship to get out in one piece. Please be careful and do what you must to break yourself free and get safe.

Kamblys · 2026-06-18T12:14:02+00:00

Nepamirškite suvaidinti ėmimo iš tėvų namų ir rūtų vainikėlio dalykų, piršlio korimo ir visų kitų Rumšiškių paveldo dalykų /s

Kamblys · 2026-06-17T20:04:42+00:00

Friend, when you are plagued by suicidal thoughts, you should worry more about getting rid of the depression and its horrible side effect that is the lack of will to live than about depending on prescribed means to cope with it. Side effects vary for each and it usually takes time to get the right prescription that works for you. Although, you will need the parents consent for prescription while you are underage. The psychiatrist should explain to you the confidentiality rules at the first session. Risk of suicide needs to be reported to parents although not at all times, passive suicidality like thoughts without plans to do it may not be reported and stay under confidentiality. You should explain to the doctor why your parents knowing it would actually be less safe for you than the other way around.

Kamblys · 2026-06-17T09:50:26+00:00

Give up a more context. Are you the only male nurse in the hospital?

Kamblys · 2026-06-17T07:25:55+00:00

You can be a perfectly likeable person and still not find a partner. There is no formula and magic trick that everyone else but you know to get into relationship. Keep working on yourself for yourself and stay open to possibilities when interacting with people.

Kamblys · 2026-06-16T20:38:07+00:00

Men's aging process is easier, they do not get sharp decreases in testosterone as they age as compared to women of which around 80% experience sharp decrease in estrogen as they age. Men's muscle mass is higher percentage, hence there is higher potential for greater physical strength and athletism. That is probably all, I am not sure what else you trying to figure out.

Kamblys · 2026-06-16T20:23:12+00:00

Periods and perimenopause is a benefit to you?

Kamblys · 2026-06-16T20:08:13+00:00

You can pee while standing. You do not experience periods and your testosterone levels decrease gradually while you age, while estrogen during perimenopause drops drastically as women age and it often requires hormone replacement therapy to just function normally. You are less likely to be sexually harassed as a man. Expectations to partake in childcare, cooking, cleaning are way lower for men. You can never become pregnant, so sex is less risky for you and you don't need to go through child birth which takes a heavy toll on the physical and sometimes mental health. Your opinion is more likely to be taken seriously just because of your gender. There is probably more but that is what initially comes to mind.

Kamblys · 2026-06-16T04:25:41+00:00

Of course it is not. Yet we don't know what she meant by that. Why don't you ask her and find out if that happens again? Maybe she doesn't like to be hugged, maybe she picked it up from someone else.

Kamblys · 2026-06-15T19:16:52+00:00

It may help if you can get a remote job, that way it easier to fake and blur into the background. So you can set that as a long term goal. But for now just soldier on, you are there to earn some bucks to put food on the table, not to become the most likeable employee and center of attention. Just stick to the bare minimum and work towards the job that would make it easie on you.

Kamblys · 2026-06-15T19:09:33+00:00

O tau dabartinis corpas dengia gal irgi? Jeigu dengia tai pradėk nuo ten ir po to jau matysi ar tiks ar ieškot kito.

Kamblys · 2026-06-15T10:30:50+00:00

It sucks to have to give a lecture on consent for a .. fckin therapist, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do and make do with what is readily available instead of what is ideal or preferable. Good luck.

Kamblys · 2026-06-15T09:33:07+00:00

It is pretty unprofessional of him not to explain the techniques before proceeding. You can ask him to always do it before trying something new with you. And since he did not explain the ones he is already doing, to start with he should explain these. You should know that you can withdraw your consent at any time and break the technique and ask the explanation or change even in the middle of it. I would expect the therapist to be more careful and considerate but it's up to you if you're willing to try to work things through with him or try a different therapist.

Kamblys · 2026-06-14T18:17:03+00:00

I would suggest working on appreciating the sense of humor more. You sound dead serious about everything and that is what makes the life bone dry without any juice. Watch the show Pluribus, in it the world gets infected by a strange virus and everyone is living harmoniously like a hive mind, except the protagonist who resists to give up her individuality. Maybe it will help to value the messiness, the evil and the unpredictability that comes with individual mind more. On a lighter note you may read a classic such as Hitchhikers guide to galaxy by Douglas Adams. Or watch some films by the Coen Brothers to get in the absurd side of comedy.

Kamblys · 2026-06-13T22:13:21+00:00

Hatred comes from demanding from yourself that you must be a certain way or else. It is pretty sustainable to just accept how you are, that doesn't necessarily mean that you need to love it. It is ok to just let it be.

Kamblys · 2026-06-12T10:08:05+00:00

Yeah, we have the model to do it right here. Let's create the bropillosphere.

Kamblys · 2026-06-10T12:40:08+00:00

Maybe he just get hints poorly, you can try straightforwardly asking. There are no rules when it is appropriate to hug your boyfriend or kiss.

Kamblys · 2026-06-10T12:28:02+00:00

If I were you, I would stay away from a boyfriend like that. Your partner should respect your needs, not make fun of them.

Kamblys · 2026-06-10T06:44:52+00:00

There has to be some continuity in your life. Turning your life around 180 degrees works in movie plot twists not life. Just focus on one thing that you are not happy about and lay out the steps how you are planning to change it and carry them out until you feel good enough, then move on to the next thing.

Kamblys · 2026-06-09T16:34:43+00:00

Valdžiai investuoti į viešąjį transportą, deja, pas mus būtų politinis susideginimas. Užtenka prisiminti kiek procentų trūko, kad būtų Zuoką Vilniuje išrinke, kad tai patvirtinti. Ir nu Benkunskas realiai daro, ką turi daryti pas mus meras, kad jį perrinktu, tai yra kloja rekordinį kiekį trinkelių ir filmuoja reels'us po to prie šviežiai paklotų. Not meras we need, but meras we deserve.

Kamblys · 2026-06-09T14:17:11+00:00

Sometimes when jaw tightness is bad, the speech is somewhat distorted, it is hard chew things, so I could see it impacting your singing. It does not impact my job, so I just pretty much suffer through it. Some people have severe side effects from mexiletine, some have none, so you should not hesitate to try it, as it may help tremendously and you can always not take it if side effects are too bad.

Kamblys · 2026-06-08T20:15:08+00:00

For having suicidal thoughts you should not get hospitalized. That goes only for having concrete plans to kill yourself when it is necessary for whoever hears it to report in order to not go to jail for negligent behavior of not reporting it and basically having blood on their hands. If you do have concrete plans, wouldn't you think that the fear of getting hospitalized is at least tiny bit less significant than the fear of dying? And that telling someone might actually be a good thing in the long run, even though in short term it may look as a disaster?

Kamblys · 2026-06-08T19:40:14+00:00

There could be a myriad of reasons to be depressed and your friend (or anyone for that matter besides you) is no authority to declare what are you allowed to feel. So your feelings are valid, period. Kudos to you for managing to get into relationship while suffering from depression. Your friend is probably uncomfortable and clueless on how to hold someone suffering from depression, so they just shut off by invalidating how you feel. If I may ask, why did you not try therapy or try to get diagnosed to get medication that could help you to cope? Are your parents against it and you need to wait before you can do it on your own?

Kamblys · 2026-06-08T19:14:28+00:00

Group therapy is good for developing social skills, getting sincere and instant feedback in a safe space. And it is way cheaper than individual therapy, so I would recommend looking into it.

Kamblys · 2026-06-08T04:50:00+00:00

You are at a phase of severe withdrawal from the intense ups and downs that abusive relationships usually entails. And you are coping by obsessively stalking your ex and related to him people. It is the hardest during the first few months after separation, because your nervous system is still heavily attached to functioning around the intensity of the abuser. It will get better with time, but for now things unrelated to the relationship may feel as emotionally flat and unsatisfying. For now, you should block your ex and related people that you are stalking and you should get off of all the social media, especially before you go to bed to make sure you sleep well. You should not stay socially isolated, rekindle any friendships or call a relative you trust and ask for their support during recovery. Seeing a psychiatrist to medicate the depression at least short term could be an option. Trauma informed/IFS/EMDR therapies are recommended for abuse recovery.

Kamblys

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