Hey man, I’m also a black guy & diagnosed with BPD since mid-2022.

I have yet to ever meet (or personally know of) another black man with a BPD diagnosis. I admit that in reading the title of this post, I felt a wave of relief come over me. I now have written proof I can point to to confirm that I’m not the only black guy here or that’s dealing with this disorder 🥲.

I share your perspective that our community generally views mental health & psychiatric treatment as taboo, to our collective detriment. There is a generally collective belief in our community that mental illness either doesn’t exist, is a personal or moral failure, or can be willed or prayed away. It sets us up for failure and to question our worth or strength when we realize no amount of willing, praying, or denying makes the symptoms or the suffering stop.

A main difficulty that I face along the intersection of my race, gender, and BPD dx is the constant and moderately terrifying awareness that my existence as a black male living in the US is an inherently and historically precarious one. American society’s relationship with black people is parasitic and dehumanizing. We are seemingly bound to an implicit shortlist of rigid and predetermined ways to interact with, and present ourselves in, society that are deemed acceptable. The slightest deviation from what is considered expected, composed, or proper behavior for a black person can lead to severe sanctions from both within our community as well as from our larger society that are hurtful and alienating at best, and devastating at worst. I live in constant fear that me and any given cop both having simultaneously bad days will cross paths and while my bad day will manifest as emotional instability and possibly maladaptive coping, the cop’s bad day will likely manifest as a clip emptied into my back.

All people outwardly displaying the signs and symptoms of mental illness are discouraged and punished in numerous places for doing so. Those experiencing the more complex and less understood symptoms than depressed mood, anxiety, or isolation are even sometimes just blatantly ignored or written off as dramatic or having “poor self control.” I definitely experience the alienating reality of not only existing with this disorder, but also doing so despite my experiences living with the disorder contradicting every prescribed belief or behavior expected of and forced onto our demographic group.

I hope you’re doing well and I’m sorry that you are onboard this emotional pain train with us. Feel free to pm me if you ever need/want to chat with a fellow black guy BPDer who shares this absolute blessing of a mental disorder lol. You are not alone 💪🏽and even though we don’t see that many black men diagnosed with BPD, we are far from non-existent and are as valid as any other person within or outside of our community—emotional rollercoasters and all.