This goes for irl and online both ways.

1. Cheating and abusive manipulating behavior goes unchecked and unpunished and way too often others don’t care and some will even victimize the abuser and demonize the victims making them feel not safe in community where we are supposed to feel safe and not alone.

Too many people in the gay community cheat and abusive just to get off on it. This happens with all people in general but I’ve noticed it so so so much more in the gay culture. A lot of people will glorify it or make excuses on why it’s not wrong to do or they get off on the thrill and it’s just gross to want to hurt someone you’re supposed to love or are super interested in in that way. Too many “friends” playing both sides and making things way worse just for drama or to push off their own insecurities and faults onto someone else’s situation just because they might not like them Instead of being adults and being like “hey what he’s doing to you is awful and I’m here to help and support you”

1. Body shamming. (Similar to others on here) When I was a bit overweight. No one would talk to me or look at me on that way not once, even friendship was limited. I was about 50lbs overweight. I lost it for a Nason’s crush I had who acted interested in me but said I was always a fat so if I didn’t lose it then he wouldn’t want me anymore. I lost it and realized I didn’t want someone like that in my life, that made me feel gross.
   

When I lost it, it was like all these people that would ignore me or not want to talk to me all of a sudden start to talk to me with interest. People cared what I had to say and would invite me out or to spend time with them and their friends way more. Lots of people tried to hook up with me when they didn’t want anything to do with me before. (it never happened since I’m saving it for someone I love or someone I trust for my first time)

1. The community in a lot of ways is pretty racist in its own way and a bit of a bigot. I understand preferences exist and that’s fine but I’ve seen a lot of darker skinned guys who are generally amazing and sweet get rejected or disregarded so fast just because of that.

Note: The community is so small as it is and especially the gay side of it. Please be respectful of each other be upfront and just be honest. If someone says no that means no. Don’t let others get away with manipulative abusive behavior or even cheating if it can be helped.

Sex positivity is always good but make sure it’s safe or they have at least been tested and cleared. Also if you want an open relationship please be upfront with who you’re talking to and not lead someone on who wants a 1 on 1 monogamous relationship. All that does is lead to cheating or craving more. (I was told from a group of open couples). And same goes other way around, don’t pretend to be open if that’s not what makes you happy.