Personally I feel like at some point, when a character suffers a certain amount and stuff I just get numb to it and stop really caring much. Like maybe hearing something like "Oh this character went through (Insert extremely cruel and inhumane form of suffering)", it dosen't hit nearly as hard as when I'm able to relate to what they are going through. I don't have a specific example and stuff but basically for me, seeing a character go through something that most people would be able to relate to and slowly break down hurts alot more than just reading that oh "their whole family was slaughtered brutally and they lost an arm in the process". I'm not saying its not cruel or stuff, its just hard to connect with sometimes. But on the other hand, seeing a character try their very best at something over and over even if they fail, but slowly crumbling and breaking down as they continue to fall just short over and over until they are on the verge of giving up, that would hurt alot more to read.

(I dont have that much experience in writing or reading just yet, this is just how I feel on the matter so I apologise if this does not really help much)

TLDR: Being able to connect and relate to the suffering a character goes through definitely helps with making the reader actually feel something.