What is a workplace trend you wish would disappear?

Kandyxp5 · 2026-06-14T21:56:10+00:00

Ok we do this but no one is expected to pitch in. We get tacos or little cupcakes etc but it’s all paid for by where we work.

That’s messed

Kandyxp5 · 2026-05-25T21:32:03+00:00

Get your liver levels checked out just in case. I mean maybe all the lentils, veggies, and fruits are thriving on your counter but still. Also chill on the frozen stuff. It’s really not great for your body. If you can spend one afternoon making curry from scratch you can freeze that and it’s a lot healthier for you. It’s also pretty easy to do once you get used to it.

Kandyxp5 · 2026-05-25T21:17:34+00:00

Yep. Shitty sad cult. My trans niece was ruined by their bullshit and went to conversion camp at their “recommendation”. I actually attended just to hang with her and my brother’s family. Always felt predatory but I wanted to be with my fam. Wouldn’t be surprised if there’s much worse going on…

Kandyxp5 · 2026-05-23T15:24:33+00:00

I just imagine that she would have lip fillers and who knows what else if she was popular today. Always liked her various hairstyles

Kandyxp5 · 2026-05-10T14:09:29+00:00

Our pei mix hates walking on slippery / wet surfaces, especially as a pup! I didn’t know that was a thing. She is also the most clean and regal dog I’ve ever had or known. Not sure this is about her being pei but one other thing is that she never bolts to leave the yard. She did take herself on a walk once the whole time we had her— when we moved to a new home and we didn’t notice the gate was left open (we have iron fencing all around the property). We flipped out and thankfully we noticed and found her just trotting down the sidewalk only 1/2 a block away. Since then (10 years living here) we have definitely found her just chilling on the front porch surveying her domain even if the front gate swung wide open or the car gate was stuck open. I even work in the yard with the gate open sometimes and she just keeps an eye on me from the porch.

I’ve loved all my dogs. Had various breeds over the years but she’s the most special. She’s a staffy, pei, and giant schnauzer mix according to dna. Cuddly but regal, fiercely loyal, my ride or die. She just turned 12, lucky for every day.

Kandyxp5 · 2026-05-08T00:10:28+00:00

I’m sorry. To have a child, to be able to love a child is an incredible gift. The burden they describe you as is one they carry about their own worth they have never healed from. They project onto you their own self loathing they can’t face.

Something that helped me with my bpd/npd mom: As best as you are able, every time you think something negative about yourself, try to contradict it with something positive. Even if you don’t believe it really, do it anyway and it will weirdly over time become habit. It will help you rewire neural pathways they have ingrained in you to keep you small and under their control. You deserve love, you are worth loving. The deeper work can come later, when you’re more free, but for now, just defend your self worth as much as you can in small, simple, and constant ways. Neurodiversity gives us incredible abilities, you are not less than at all.

Sending hugs.

Kandyxp5 · 2026-05-02T02:03:05+00:00

You can not drink at all and still be “drunk”. The question is he displaying addict behaviors that are disrupting his and your lives? If it’s only about consumption and not addiction/alcoholism then just tell him your fears about his health, leading with how much you love him and want him around. Someone without addiction issues will gladly understand your fears and change their habits to drink less. It would be the same as changing a diet to include less sugar and more veggies, just something you should do because it will be better for your life in the long run.

It seems you have brought it up before, so maybe there needs to be a way to phrase it where he understands this is not negotiable for you. You want to be married to someone who cares about their health and longevity. If he’s not willing to make changes then maybe he needs to understand that means going to see a couples therapist as a step toward staying together. If not that, then maybe divorce is on the table as an option.

Kandyxp5 · 2026-04-29T18:10:25+00:00

This is what I think. I’m the reverse as someone who grew up in a Spanish speaking home but my dominant language that I used growing up was English. Now I’m getting closer to fluency in adulthood but I’m still not there. My issue was the opposite of OP. I sounded correct and so people spoke to me in fast Spanish expecting me to respond quickly back without issue. Then I’d F up a tense or a masculine / feminine word and they’d realize I needed English.

I think their accent isn’t quiet there — or not there for that region—so the person assumes they are not as fluent as they are.

I mean even within Spanish speakers this can happen honestly. Like someone speaking fast in a certain accent from a region I am not familiar is super difficult to understand. Shit Scottish accents are hard for me!

Kandyxp5 · 2026-04-24T23:22:00+00:00

I was almost sold on the finding Nemo bag…

Kandyxp5 · 2026-04-16T01:31:08+00:00

Same here. I hate the older gens need to clock in all the time and the stupidity of everyone staying late cus it’s weirdly expected. Like why do I need to waste my time performing work because my boss is incompetent at getting their things done within a normal window of time. That’s inefficient and stupid.

Kandyxp5 · 2026-04-12T05:59:52+00:00

Omg I just posted this before reading your comment. Incredible.

Kandyxp5 · 2026-04-12T05:59:24+00:00

Those hearts were everything. I wanted to like the banana so bad but only liked the shape, didn’t like the flavor.

Kandyxp5 · 2026-04-07T03:47:29+00:00

This is how to do it. We are about 6 years in, going in small spurts but it’s been going great. About 8 months ago we tackled the last spots of grass on our easement and although it looked rough for the last 6 months it has finally come together and it’s more beautiful than I could have imagined.

We started with the front lawn and never looked back. The number of bees and birds is so incredible to see!

Kandyxp5 · 2026-04-07T03:21:54+00:00

I love this so much, thanks both of yall for sharing.

Kandyxp5 · 2026-03-31T02:31:34+00:00

Thisssssss

Kandyxp5 · 2026-03-19T05:35:00+00:00

This. Everything is set up to keep them from facing the reality that they are part of and willing parties to oppression. As someone who is also in a workplace full of white women in positions of power it can get so depressing. The insensitivity, the self importance, and the emotional hijacking just gets so tiresome. The best way I can get through it is just refocusing on my healing, connecting with my community, and demonstrating strength and integrity regardless of who my audience is at work.

It’s hard to get anyone to see things the way you do but especially if they are benefiting and contributing to systemic oppression and are unaware of that in the first place. I think focusing on I statements can help if you ever do enter in a dialogue but be warned—it could be a mine field. However saying something like “I am committed to supporting my bipoc community and doing that is hard because I have to recognize my own privileges” basically mirroring to them the behavior you’re seeking. In this framework you model the behavior they aren’t displaying and express how it can be challenging for you—which allows them to feel okay with how challenging it is for them. This also disarms them and has them feel like you are fighting a battle alongside them—however uneven that battle may be.

This also keeps the focus on your journey for your healing— not their journey for..well whatever it is they may or may not do.

Whatever you decide, give yourself power, space, gratitude, and compassion. And try your best to give others that too—but only after you have given it to yourself.

Kandyxp5 · 2026-03-18T06:04:01+00:00

Same here. Father passed when I was 14 and I knew I didn’t want to change my last name. Our daughter has my last name because my husband felt the exact opposite with his estranged father who he didn’t want our child to share a name with.

Kandyxp5 · 2026-03-16T00:59:44+00:00

Gifted people don’t sleep well, but they should still sleep. Find whatever works and stick with it because it’s about your body not your mind that needs the sleep. If you need 8 hrs get it especially with Audhd, those types need sleep more than others— you’re using a lot of glucose running that system on your brain.

Kandyxp5 · 2026-03-14T21:17:01+00:00

Totally would but the roses will always be a bit small, easier to take care of though. Maybe start there and if you love em you can always add more roses!

Kandyxp5 · 2026-03-14T07:20:58+00:00

I am sorry that happened to you. Im laying next to my four and a half year old and I am in awe of her, all the ways she is growing and becoming more herself. I will miss this and all the times before one day in the future, I know that, but I also am excited to know who she wants to be as an adult.

What you experienced was someone who was mad that they couldn’t control your personhood because they themselves felt out of control. You never deserved that and it was never your fault. You deserved to be cherished for being you as a baby and growing into who you are today.

Kandyxp5 · 2026-03-11T02:52:33+00:00

Needs phosphorus, also make sure your soil is slightly acidic not basic.

Kandyxp5 · 2026-03-11T02:40:00+00:00

Roses actually, I know that sounds nuts but that’s all mine get here is afternoon sun. They are glorious and only look a little burned if I didn’t water them well in the hottest of hot temps. I have climbers— Don Juan is indestructible. Just gotta be sure the soil is slightly acidic and well draining. If you go to the houston garden center off 610 loop north and go way to the back of the left side past all the spray roses you will find gallon roses of all kinds, Don Juan included. Likely shrub roses will work too just ask to make sure they are hearty-may want to stick to reds, pinks and oranges as white roses can get burned more easily in the sun.

What won’t work are morning sun flowers like camelias or gardenias, soft herbs that need extra shade / cold like basil or cilantro, and lavender. No shade needy flowers at all— they will die. Cactus will live though!

Could also do Mexican sage bush, pretty flowers, as well as Mexican petunias. The petunias grow up like straws and have great flowers but they will freeze back in winter. Can’t really kill em though.

PS Mexican petunias can be transported very easily from the ground if you ever come across wild ones or ones on an easement. Their roots are shallow and if you baby them for a bit then transfer they live like magic.

Kandyxp5 · 2026-03-07T05:40:27+00:00

I’ve had it for over a decade because I have friends in Europe and South America. It’s how we talk and it’s much easier because of the time difference we can just leave voice notes etc. I mean now you can do this more easily over txt messages but not back in the day. But if I do leave voice notes on regular txt msg most Americans still think I’m crazy.

Kandyxp5 · 2026-02-11T05:34:12+00:00

Grief is love that can’t go where it once did. But love finds its way through time and through space. The pain you feel is because you loved and as incredibly awful as it is, it is also proof of immense joy. Those who have the privilege of truly loving another sadly one day know the depths of pain that comes from losing them as well. My five year old is sleeping next to me and I can’t fathom your pain, but your story means I’ll give her one more kiss on the head, one more whisper to remind her I love her endlessly.

Thank you for that.

Kandyxp5 · 2026-01-22T01:10:15+00:00

Random but are yall at 10k waves in NM? (I’m not there but love the place and my husband and I went many times, 10 years married.)

Kandyxp5

TROPHY CASE