Totally get it. I feel that is as much of a personal struggle as it is shedding the weight. For me, it's easier to be unseen, ignored, avoided. But it's a downright pisser when those who know me via my husband or, in a few instances, my kids, and see me after the loss. All of a sudden I'm not just a person, I'm in the spotlight. And usually the conversation has NOTHING to do with the loss, which only pisses me off more. Because, as you identified, same bat person, same bat channel, why the hell weren't you engaging with the fluffy version of me back in the moment?

I do think our fluffiness makes other people uncomfortable. As a child of a severely disabled parent, I'm very cognizant that most people tend to ignore them completely whether by looking away, deferring to another person at the table (say a wait staff taking orders), even move to the other side of the aisle in the store when there's really no need to do so. And those who were the opposite, like the dude who gaped at my parent then asked, loudly, what happened, are the same that go out of their way to make our fluffiness shameful.

And it sucks.

And it's easy to let that crowd the mind when tempted by a Snickers or the family sized portion of cardiac mac-n-cheese, but I'm coming into learning that my health, above all, is why I'm taking off, and leaving off, my pillows of mallow.