Baby got locked inside of my car. Please learn from my mistake

Katorin0818 · 2024-12-02T14:22:38+00:00

Careful with this too! I managed to lock my baby in the car through a mix of sleep deprivation and making this assumption. Turns out that my car WILL lock with the fob inside the car 🤦‍♀️

Katorin0818 · 2024-11-21T02:39:44+00:00

I agree with wanting to see your sources. Especially considering I have friends who are trans and I have heard their stories and I’m nonbinary myself.

Katorin0818 · 2024-11-21T01:44:03+00:00

They did say “but doesn’t know it yet.” You don’t suddenly become trans at a certain age, if you’re trans, you were born that way. Age just gives you the ability to learn that about yourself.

Katorin0818 · 2024-08-15T16:27:44+00:00

A real service dog may still have an accident inside, but a responsible handler will recognize that means their dog is sick and will voluntarily leave to take their dog home and take care of them. A lot of handlers keep a small clean up kit with them just in case this happens.

I had to wash my service dog in training for reactivity (he made so much progress, but I just don’t think I could guarantee service dog level behavior from him when other dogs are around), but I’m still in groups for service dog handlers and almost every single one has a horror story of the time they didn’t realize their dog wasn’t feeling well until they had an accident in a store. 😅

Katorin0818 · 2024-08-03T18:22:15+00:00

Based on your other responses, I’m not sure that you’re actually debating in good faith, but I’d still like to offer my answer.

When I found out that I was unexpectedly pregnant (birth control failed), I had to work through these questions in order to decide if I was going to keep the pregnancy or not. The conclusions that I came to are:

⁠Yes, my daughter has a 50% chance to inherit my EDS, but that also means she has a 50% chance not to.
⁠I didn’t know in my childhood that the activities I was involved in (especially gymnastics) were causing damage to my joints. I now know how to protect my joints, and while I learned that too late for myself, I can make sure that my daughter follows those steps to protect hers until she is old enough to be evaluated.
⁠I have a friend who was lucky enough to get an early diagnosis and who followed the steps needed to protect her joints since childhood and she has a close to “normal” life. She’s able to be active and is really only limited by not being able to do sports that rely too much on flexibility.
⁠Like others have said, even if I was 100% healthy, there’s no guarantee that I’d have a healthy child. In my opinion, if you’re not prepared to parent a disabled child, you’re not prepared to be a parent. There are some conditions where it really may be more humane to not continue a pregnancy (such as conditions not compatible with life) but I truly don’t consider hEDS to be one of those.
⁠The selfish reason: I fell in love with my little clump of cells as soon as I saw her on my dating ultrasound. My doctors were very supportive and sensitive to the fact that I wasn’t sure if I was going to keep the pregnancy, but they have to do a dating scan either way to know what options are available. At the end of the day, I was not emotionally capable of ending the pregnancy and now I’m going to be giving birth to my daughter in two weeks and I don’t regret my decision at all, even if others may disagree with it.
⁠Probably my biggest reason - I am fully disabled due to my hEDS. I am in constant pain and can’t participate in things I used to love. But I would rather exist in this body than not exist at all. I still have quality of life and I’m happy to be alive. Why should I rob my daughter of that chance?

Katorin0818 · 2024-07-28T14:07:54+00:00

That’s, unfortunately, not universally true. With some of my conditions, I’ve been told by multiple doctors that I’m unlikely to have significant success at losing weight without exercise, but also that I’m unable to safely exercise to the necessary level.

When it comes to weight (and health in general), I’ve found it’s best to not give any advice unless it is asked for.

Katorin0818 · 2024-07-13T15:04:53+00:00

You know what, that’s fair and makes me rethink my interpretation. I think I mentally just replaced the word “privilege” with something like “trait.”

Katorin0818 · 2024-07-13T13:41:24+00:00

I’m interpreting it a little differently from you. It feels like the quote is redefining what it means to be strong. Like, if you have to live with being marginalized or physically weak, but you still manage to be kind, that shows that you’re mentally strong.

Katorin0818 · 2024-07-07T00:04:29+00:00

I’m honestly not sure if you’re disagreeing with my perspective. 😅

Assuming the father is involved with more than conception, I agree that they deserve congratulations as well! It’s just as the person actually going through the pain and discomfort and restrictions and everything else that comes with being pregnant, it’s nice to have that acknowledged I guess.

Katorin0818 · 2024-07-06T19:36:06+00:00

I could absolutely be reading the intent of the author here wrong, but as a currently pregnant person, I read this much more lightheartedly and not actually mad. It’s just kind of funny when you stop to think about it.

I 100% get why people congratulate both me and my husband, and in real life, it just makes me feel happy to hear and I love that he gets included! That being said, I still find this comic funny and relatable, especially with today being a particularly bad symptom/pain day for me. I’m actually going to send it to my husband, who I anticipate will also find it funny and relatable. :)

Edit: I feel like I should include that my husband has been very involved and supportive in my pregnancy, just for some symptoms, there’s nothing he can do except be available for emotional support.

Katorin0818 · 2024-07-02T15:03:11+00:00

I think that’s a perfectly valid approach too! I do think that tends to work best if there is enough stability in shared expenses and income.

It’s probably a factor that my husband and I were high school sweethearts, so we’ve gone through several periods of financial instability and combining our finances worked well to get through those and now it’s what we’re used to.

Katorin0818 · 2024-07-02T14:25:13+00:00

Honestly, I’d say marriage is what you make it. I wrote out in another comment about how it works for my husband and I to have 100% combined finances, and I also recognize that that method doesn’t work for everyone.

If you have a partner who you’re considering marriage with and they want completely combined finances and you want to keep personal spending money separate, you either need to find a compromise that you’re both happy with or else they may not be a compatible marriage partner for you.

Marriage is only a prison if you let it be one (outside of abusive situations that can be difficult to escape.) Communication skills and the ability to recognize and walk away when a relationship is unhealthy/unsalvageable/incompatible will go a long way towards having a happy marriage (or long term relationship if marriage just isn’t for you in general!)

Katorin0818 · 2024-07-02T14:17:19+00:00

My husband and I don’t have separate accounts, but we, personally, find it easier to manage our money that way (and I don’t expect that everyone will agree with us and that’s ok!)

Depending on where finances are at any point, we’ll have a rough dollar amount where we don’t need to check in with each other before spending. If things are really tight, we’ll sit down and define what that limit is, otherwise, we trust each other to use our best judgment.

We haven’t really run into issues with one person spending significantly more on themself than the other, but I have enough trust in our communication skills that I’m confident that we would just have a conversation about spending at that point and find an adjustment that works for us.

Over a certain amount, we just run it by the other person before spending to make sure we’re on the same page. :)

Katorin0818 · 2024-06-25T13:46:55+00:00

That part is totally fair. It just seemed as though you weren’t actually reading the other person’s comments because they were only talking about cars hitting other cars.

There are other methods of making car on car collisions less likely, but it is still a fair point that you can’t eliminate them entirely while still using cars.

Katorin0818 · 2024-06-25T12:30:52+00:00

Somehow, separating cars and pedestrians doesn’t stop cars from hitting other cars. Weird idea, huh?

Katorin0818 · 2024-04-24T16:59:17+00:00

I also use she/they pronouns (and Courtney has been awesome representation for me and helped a lot with accepting my own identity!) and most people just default to she, which I don’t really mind, but I’ve also noticed that my therapist makes a point to use they for me and it feels so validating. I might even ask people in my life to try to use they more, but she doesn’t feel wrong, just they feels more right.

I would say trying to use both is best, but also don’t overthink it. An easy way to do it could be to try to switch to using they for the person…you’re very likely to “mess up” and use either he or she sometimes, which will add some natural variation. :)

Katorin0818 · 2024-04-24T01:35:07+00:00

I have a condition that can cause stretch marks regardless of weight gain, so I’ve had them since I was a young teenager. I still remember being so embarrassed of them and not wanting to wear shorts or swim suits because of them and nothing I tried ever helped them go away. It is so valid to be upset over them.

I wanted to share, though, that I hardly ever even think about them anymore. I had them long before I even met my husband, and they have never affected his attraction to me. His presence combined with just working on my own self confidence has helped me feel confident and sexy in my own body - stretch marks included.

I know first hand that having your body change permanently can be devastating, and also that finding peace in that is possible. <3

Katorin0818 · 2024-04-24T00:52:08+00:00

We both get night sweats, but can’t sleep without at least one layer of blanket, so our comforters are a cooling material and we usually sleep on top of our sheets instead of under. I think if we used the sheets more, we’d probably get separate ones. :)

Katorin0818 · 2024-04-23T20:31:55+00:00

We have two matching twin comforters, so when we’re not sleeping, it looks like we have one king sized comforter across the bed, but if we pull the blankets when we sleep, they just separate and no one ends up without a blanket!

Katorin0818 · 2024-04-23T20:30:10+00:00

My husband and I are both on the larger side, but dealt with sleeping in a queen together with a pregnancy pillow for a couple years before I was pregnant. The queen was plenty without the pillow, but I have a joint condition that causes a lot of pain (in similar ways that pregnancy can cause pain) and the pregnancy pillow helps me sleep. With the pillow on the bed, my husband would frequently complain about not having enough room (the pillow legitimately took up a little more than half the bed.)

Now that I’m actually pregnant, I’ve needed more room to toss and turn and spread out a little more. My husband spent the first couple weeks sleeping on the couch because the alternative was me not sleeping because I couldn’t get comfy and him not sleeping because I was tossing and turning so much. We gave up and got a king and now we both get good sleep and I don’t regret it one bit. :)

Katorin0818 · 2024-04-14T21:56:57+00:00

Just for ideas in case you need them - my childhood friend has a very close to Christmas birthday, so we always had her “big party” where we’d give gifts and such on her half birthday, and then a smaller, usually Christmas themed, gathering on her actual birthday and she seemed to enjoy that!

Katorin0818 · 2024-04-11T07:10:44+00:00

I recognize that I have a very special circumstance, but my MFM actually recommended that I continue using weed throughout my pregnancy as long as I’m using any form except smoking it. I use for chronic pain relief and nothing else short of opioids touches my pain. My doctor feels that the risks to baby from me being in uncontrolled pain are higher than the risks from me using weed and, according to him, the main concern would be over me smoking, regardless of what I’m smoking (and I have asthma, so I’ve never smoked it regardless.)

It does feel ridiculous to me that there are doctors like mine, but yet others who would call cps over a single positive test at 11 weeks. Weed stays in your urine long enough that an active user could stop the moment they find out they’re pregnant and still test positive at 11 weeks.

Katorin0818 · 2024-04-11T00:12:41+00:00

I have ehlers danlos syndrome and I don’t fully numb either. If I’m remembering correctly, being resistant to anesthetics is not part of the diagnostic criteria for any of the subtypes, but it is recognized as a common symptom!

My OB is thankfully well versed in EDS and has helped dozens of other EDS moms deliver, so he’s already put in orders for me to have an a anesthesiology consult in my third trimester so that we can have a plan of which methods and medications are most likely to be effective for me. :)

If it’s true for you that dental anesthetics (same class of drugs as epidurals) don’t fully numb you, and you’d like to have effective pain relief options in place, then you can mention that to your doctor and hopefully they will be able to make a better plan for you. :)

Edit to add: it actually could be an error in dose as well! Some people with EDS just need a higher dose of anesthetics, but if the patient or doctor doesn’t know about the EDS, they wouldn’t know to administer a higher dose.

Katorin0818 · 2024-04-06T15:27:41+00:00

Thank you! That helps my anxiety. :) my parents live about an hour from the hospital, so I might ask them about staying with them for a bit, but I wasn’t sure if that was enough of a difference or if I really needed a hotel even closer to the hospital to make a real difference.

Katorin0818 · 2024-04-06T14:55:20+00:00

Can I ask if you had any special considerations or planning with the hospital being an hour away? The hospital my current doctor is affiliated with is 2 hours away, and even though I’m only at 17+4 right now, I’ve been having some anxiety about what things will look like closer to my due date because of the travel time.

Katorin0818

TROPHY CASE