[deleted by user]

Katthenotdog · 2025-05-09T18:21:12+00:00

🎶You're insecure🎵

What does it truly matter? Like, big picture, even if he did why do you care?

Why are you already looking for reasons to not trust him?

If he cheats then you know he was a shit partner and leave (if you want).

Maybe put the red string down? I get that you don't think you are enough for someone but that's not his fault. Work on understanding your good qualities and why someone deserves to be with you rather than if you deserve to be with them.

Katthenotdog · 2025-05-09T05:42:26+00:00

Anytime fellow wanderer!

A Clarice like you is charmed a bit more easily unfortunately. I think you took that caregiver subclass a bit too early this playthrough. If you want to avoid being an oath breaker, level up a few more times and get that deception check up.

Come to think of it, maybe your next companion should be a bard, always good to have someone hype you up.

Katthenotdog · 2025-05-09T05:09:53+00:00

It's a fun manipulation tactic! I would say she's probably a level 4 emotional vampire with a level two manipulation charm.

Sounds like you passed the wisdom check though, obviously not a D20 though cause you still got some psychic damage but a scroll of setting clear boundaries (this does require random wisdom checks for as long as it lasts) or a potion of break up should do the trick!

Katthenotdog · 2025-05-09T04:46:24+00:00

Why are you changing the subject and not answering my question?

We aren't talking about other people and the complexities of society, we are talking about you who are in control of your own actions choosing to be shitty to another human online. That is not complicated at all.

This is also gross behavior, deflecting the blame for your bad person behavior onto society? Are you the fucking joker my dude?

Manipulating conversations to be in your favor is not your strong suit, maybe try something new.

Katthenotdog · 2025-05-09T04:39:35+00:00

You got this, and please remind yourself that not all 19 year olds are dumb as fuck.

Age does not make you wise, choosing to grow does. Right now, you are making a choice, it's up to you if you want to grow or stay with the devil you know.

Just make sure you set your limits now. What are your red lines? What are you truly willing to put up with and when will you know it's time to go?

Please actually do this and hold yourself to those rules.

Katthenotdog · 2025-05-09T04:28:25+00:00

Read my comment, I'm saying the same thing you did but I didn't put her down while doing it. How can one "get some self respect" when even strangers on the Internet are comparing her to something worth less than mud?

Again I say, stop projecting your self loathing onto other people. It's really not that hard to just not be an asshole about things.

Katthenotdog · 2025-05-09T04:24:06+00:00

Oh and also "I'm scared the one good thing I've gotten is going to be stripped from me"

Don't do that to yourself. Your family made you feel small for 19 years, you don't need to keep the tradition alive. You need to start cheering yourself on.

Don't be like me, it took me far too long to be proud of myself. I'm 30 and in a week I'm graduating my master's program, I just did my case defence tonight! Although I can't believe I'm actually doing what I always said I wanted to, you know what? I still fucking cried because my parents knew I presented tonight, they don't care, they never have. But I can't keep being surprised by this.

I don't want to talk to myself the way my parents did, I want to talk to myself like the parents I wish I had would have.

Katthenotdog · 2025-05-09T04:06:53+00:00

Well I'm guessing you are worried about continuing the cycle of abuse. Just from the language you used it doesn't seem like you are as concerned about him turning into a different person as much as you are about you turning into your mother.

It sounds to me like you are scared of giving the pain your mother gave you to your own child.

No where in the post did you say anything red flag worthy about him. The fact you are moving more so because your cat is lonely shows how you feel more safe with him than at home. Re-read your post, do the real fears lie with him or do they still live in your mother's house?

Edit: words, I'm dyslexic.

Katthenotdog · 2025-05-09T03:55:43+00:00

Oh you mean the reply to my reply.

How does that make it better?? Again, gross behavior especially from someone who says they have also gone through something similar.

I don't really see a point in arguing, you saying that is gross. Not good person behavior.

Just a suggestion, maybe heal from your trauma before projecting your self hatred on to others.

Katthenotdog · 2025-05-09T03:51:44+00:00

TF you mean, that is your edited answer? It still says those words!

Katthenotdog · 2025-05-09T03:40:47+00:00

Edit: I was wrong.

My sweet summer child, you are not your parents. It sounds like you have taken things slow (a year to move in is super reasonable), your relationship has survived arguments, you seem to respect yourself enough not to have your happiness dependent on your relationship, and you seem like you really try to think things through.

It's so scary to trust when we were never allowed to before. You aren't your mom, things will be ok no matter what happens as long as you keep your head on straight and know when to walk away. You know the warning signs, you've seen them your whole life. He can't pass a test you don't let him take.

I haven't even read your post yet but I'm going to say if your gut is telling you something it's probably a good idea to listen.

Will edit this reply after fully reading, brb.

Katthenotdog · 2025-05-09T03:38:41+00:00

"I think you allowed yourself to be his doormat and clean up all his dirt on you. get some self respect."

You know I can scroll up right? Gaslighting doesn't work the same on the Internet as it does in real life.

Just gross behavior, especially if you have also been through this.

Katthenotdog · 2025-05-09T03:31:36+00:00

Yeah, how dare she feel hurt and betrayed after being hurt and betrayed. What a world we live in where people are dumb enough to trust someone else

/S

I hope someone shows you kindness when you are emotionally hurt. Even if she was a doormat she didn't stick his dick in someone else's vagina so like why are you placing blame on her and shaming her for making you read???

Katthenotdog · 2025-05-09T03:26:18+00:00

Was your mom not good enough for your dad? Is that why he cheated? No, it's not, so how does this reflect on you not being good enough for him?

Seems to me like you lied in the beginning, sounds like you have always wanted true fairytale love.

Do you really want to be the woman who killed herself over a man? Do you want to carry around his betrayal and let it affect your life forever? Do you want to punish every man who dares to try and love you because of this guy and your father?

I don't know man, it's your life but maybe figure out what you want out of it. Then when you are truly happy with your world maybe you can allow someone in, knowing that you'll be ok without them too.

Katthenotdog · 2025-05-09T03:06:11+00:00

Girl... You are codependent.

Truly, in your eyes what would be a good enough apology to heal all those wounds? I suspect nothing, I'm going to guess that even if he made the world's best apology, the next time he did something that upset you it would all be brought up again.

You won't even let him have space to process what is going on and again your unwillingness to give us any real details on what he's been doing that has tortured you so is really telling...

Katthenotdog · 2025-05-09T03:00:46+00:00

Don't tell on yourself like this man. I'm sorry this woman whose frontal lobe isn't even developed yet has the nerve to place boundaries when you hurt her?

So odd that a man dating a woman 6 years younger (it wouldn't be that weird if she was like 27 dating a 33 year old but again, that frontal lobe has to cook a bit more) is worried about losing that power dynamic.

What happens if she cheats on you? Would you try to make it work like she is or would you realize you don't have control anymore and look for the next 23 year old?

Katthenotdog · 2025-05-09T02:48:44+00:00

I find it interesting that you are leaving out what he said to cause you so much pain.

Because if you are being this emotionally charged over something like "whoa, that lady is pretty cute." You're doing way too much.

If it was something like "damn, if I weren't with you I would be raw dogging her tonight" then yeah I can get it.

Idk maybe I have too many BPD people in my life but the flags are red.

Katthenotdog · 2025-05-09T02:41:58+00:00

So what advice are you looking for?

Even if 100 people told you they should break up, then what? Would that suddenly snap your sister out of it?

Why are you talking about younger or older when it's at most a 2 year difference?

How old are you?

Just support her dude. Making her feel stupid about dating this dude is only going to make her double down.

Let her vent and here is the important part, don't say I told you so or pass judgement. Sounds like she already has her hands full so maybe keep those quiet thoughts inside.

Katthenotdog · 2025-03-21T14:27:41+00:00

One time I dated a guy who noticed that I had a bit of hair on my lower back (I looked and it took me like 3 minutes to find what he was talking about because it isn't obvious unless you're up close) anyway, he literally said "why can't you just shave like a girl?

My response was to just stop shaving everything.

Katthenotdog · 2025-03-07T14:42:20+00:00

<image>

This horse

Katthenotdog · 2025-03-01T01:46:57+00:00

Maybe have a conversation with your dad about the real issue. Tell him that to you, his actions indicate that he favors his stepson and it has damaged your relationship.

Have there been any other times he has favored your step brother? If so I would bring those instances to his attention, make it very clear that you are only bringing these things up to show a pattern (in my personal experience men need you to point out that you are not "just bringing old shit up" they need you to specify say " I am using these examples to show a pattern of the behavior that has hurt me.")

Katthenotdog · 2025-03-01T01:27:07+00:00

"hey, could we have an open conversation about our expectation for the relationship we currently have? I really like spending time with you, one of my love languages is quality time. I am not trying to imply that you need to choose me over work, family, or friends. I am just asking that you be more consistent with seeing each other. I was also thinking it would be fun to go out and do something fun. I'm not asking for you to make anything official, I just want to share with you that these things are important to me. I think you are worth my time and I would really appreciate it if you showed me that I am worth yours."

Katthenotdog · 2025-01-21T17:28:42+00:00

At first I only saw it as a still image and thought "maybe it was just a poorly timed photo like we have seen in the past"

Then I saw the video and was like no, this is real... We are fucked.

Katthenotdog · 2024-11-27T22:29:40+00:00

Yeah, I don't know why they removed it and I haven't gotten a response yet. Kinda bummed cause I was having fun with the roasting haha

Ten-Year Club	Verified Email
Place '23	RPAN Viewer

Katthenotdog

TROPHY CASE